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19 Mar

Candy is Dandy but Liquor is Quicker

Still Life with Developmental Toys
10 things I learned this weekend:

1) Martini shakers, when filled with ice, vodka and a whisper of dry Vermouth, make awesome rattles. Cocktail hour can be fun for all ages!

2) One very, very dry vodka martini (shaken, with an olive) is the precise amount of alcohol required for getting me drunk after my 14-month pregnancy/breastfeeding paranoia hiatus from drinking (10 month hiatus, if you count virtuous nips at breastmilk-boosters like Guinness as ‘drinking.’ I don’t.)

3) It is also the precise amount of alcohol required for a post-hiatus hangover.

4) Hangovers SUCK.

5) Hangovers suck worse when you have to wake in the middle of the night to attend to an unruly infant who was, presumably, overstimulated by all the martini shaker/rattle action earlier in the evening…

6) …and when you have to wake again shortly before dawn…

7) …and shortly after dawn.

8) The suckiness that is the hangover is further worsened by the presence of another adult who is not hungover and who remains oblivious to the war cries of the above-mentioned infant.

9) The suckiness that is the hangover is lessened when that other adult SUCKS IT UP and takes over care of the infant so that hungover mother can crawl back under the covers for another hour or two of blissful, blissful sleep.

10) Sleep helps the hangover. So do soft peanut butter cookies and chocolate milk. So does this:

Oh, sweetie, Mommy’s a little bleary, but she sure does love you…

Now give back that martini shaker.