May 23, 2007

It all got to be a bit much – the interminable flu/allergy plague, the busted pipes, the lack of hot water, the broken appliances, the absentee father/spouse - and so WonderBaby and PL and I got the hell out of Dodge.
Now we’re here:

Quite literally:

That’s the view from our hotel room window in The! Honeymoon! Capital! Of! The! World!

Which is not exactly the place that you want to be when you’re a miserable, flu-ridden, effectual single mom, except for the fact that it has a) hot showers, b) room service, c) the Husband (who, although pre-occupied with mundane things like making sure that they can get the helicopter to hover over the exact right place over the falls at the exact right moment at dusk and capture it on film, is nonetheless available in the middle of night for me to bitch at about how much snot there is in my head), and d) did I mention hot showers? And room service? All of which makes it easier to overlook the fact that Niagara Falls is one of the most obscenely touristy places on earth and that I cannot for the life of me find a shop that sells diapers anywhere.

And because the last week and a half has been so challenging, tonight I will feel no guilt whatsoever curling up – after WonderBaby is abed and a hot bath has been enjoyed – in a nice cushy bed that has been ‘specially turned down for me and turning on the television and tuning in to something mindless while I eat lobster ordered from room service. We’ll call it my belated birthday, and it will be good.

Then, perhaps, tomorrow, I will have the strength to follow the directions that I discovered this morning while looking for diapers and a Starbucks (not in that order). Because apparently this is the land of my people. Or, one of them, anyway:

C’mon, ‘fess up: which one of you is this?

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    canape May 23, 2007 at 2:56 pm

    It is so not me. I would confess if it was. I wish it was.

    It is so not.

    Perky May 23, 2007 at 2:58 pm

    Oh, well….. I didn’t want to brag, but…. you got me!!! It’s me! Yep! I’m the MILF in question!

    That’s too too funny!!!! Great catch! Have fun at the falls!

    Jen Magnuson May 23, 2007 at 3:00 pm

    Good catch!!!!! LOL If you go to or something like that (you may have to Google it) they are having a contest for funny signs – you just need to write a caption. You can win plane tickets to LA…you should enter this!

    Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" May 23, 2007 at 3:15 pm

    I wish it was me….Have fun at the falls…if only you were coming to the city!!!

    Phoenix May 23, 2007 at 3:28 pm

    That is the greatest sign. Enjoy your belated birthday. Room service and clean sheets everyday when you’re sick sounds like the way to go.

    mothergoosemouse May 23, 2007 at 3:33 pm

    I wish! We took a side trip to Niagara Falls after a family wedding in Erie PA. Breathtaking views, but too effing many people loitering around – one afternoon was plenty of time spent there.

    Enjoy the showers and the kvetching.

    sam May 23, 2007 at 3:35 pm

    Too smart to be me. Sorry.

    I wanna go to Niagara I love it there!!

    I’m jealous!

    metro mama May 23, 2007 at 3:36 pm

    Get him to take you to Niagara-on-the-lake when the work is done!

    Lawyer Mama May 23, 2007 at 3:37 pm

    Ooh! Love the view. And the room service. I’m addicted to room service.

    Enjoy & relax!

    Dana J. Tuszke May 23, 2007 at 3:43 pm

    Oh that sign just cracks my ass up! Get better soon! I hope the pipes get fixed quickly, too!

    Christina May 23, 2007 at 3:46 pm

    Sorry, there’s no way it’s me.

    Love the view, though! And it all sounds so relaxing, sick or not! If anything, maybe it’ll help you feel not quite so sick to enjoy all of that luxury.

    I wish my husband got sent to beautiful places like that for work.

    BOSSY May 23, 2007 at 3:50 pm

    Too. Funny. Anyway, don’t stand too close to the edge.

    Kyla May 23, 2007 at 4:00 pm

    Too hilarious!

    And you wouldn’t think the view of the Falls could be improved upon, but I think the silhouette of WonderBaby’s precious head is the perfect accent.

    Motherhood Uncensored May 23, 2007 at 4:56 pm

    AHA. I’ve been foiled.

    That’s totally my secret crime fantasy. Vandalism for laughs on my blog.


    slouching mom May 23, 2007 at 6:38 pm

    Ahh. Hotels are da bomb, baby. Feel better.

    Amy Jo May 23, 2007 at 6:52 pm

    Brilliant…take care, and feel better!

    Karen May 23, 2007 at 7:01 pm

    if that sign was pointing in the general direction of Western NY, it could be my sister, who is staying with my mother – or it could be my mother, vandalism is more her style than Heather’s really.

    Mimi May 23, 2007 at 7:46 pm

    Now we know why everyone loves marineland …


    Her Bad Mother May 23, 2007 at 7:50 pm

    Mimi: L.O.L.

    Lisa b May 23, 2007 at 7:54 pm

    At first I thought you were on honeymoon with wonderbaby.
    Good call on the hotel and HBFather on call.
    No idea on the MILF. keep us posted.

    meno May 23, 2007 at 8:43 pm

    My god! That view. I haven’t been there since i was a child. Are you going to ride on The Maid of the Mist? Or do they still do that?

    Ruth Dynamite May 23, 2007 at 9:00 pm

    Just hop inside this barrel and I’ll push you toward the MILF, OK?

    Liz May 23, 2007 at 9:38 pm

    I WISH I had done that. So simple and yet so, so, so grand!

    Beck May 23, 2007 at 9:56 pm

    I went to Niagara Falls on my grade eight school trip and that was it. It would be, I imagine, an odd place to visit with babies. It’s not really set UP for them, no matter how many MILFs they want to attract. I hope you guys have fun.

    Kirsten May 23, 2007 at 10:19 pm

    OH how I miss Niagara…. it was a yearly trip for many years… then I moved to the US, and my biggest excitement was flying over it, while my terrified-of-flying husband begged me to!!!1!! so the plane didn’t fall on its side out of the sky from the curious onlookers who were trying to catch an aerial glimpse. *sigh*

    Jenifer May 23, 2007 at 10:23 pm

    You took my suggestion! Good for you. There was a Starbucks in the lobby of the hotel we stayed at last year. It was the Embassy Suites I think.

    Hey what I would not do for hot water.

    The Marineland sign is priceless and I can tell you I swear it was not like that when we drove by at March Break.

    Bon May 23, 2007 at 10:28 pm

    that sign points all the way to PEI babee…!

    erm, or elsewhere. it might be someone else. possibly. my sign might be more tasteful.

    glad you’re enjoying the mod cons of hot showers and the garish wonders of Niagara. love the Wonder Baby Overlooks Falls shot.

    Alex Elliot May 23, 2007 at 10:55 pm

    Sorry you’re not feeling well! Room service is wonderful thing. I have never been to Niagara Falls. It’s on my list of places to go.

    flutter May 24, 2007 at 1:35 am

    That looks GORGEOUS.

    ewe are here May 24, 2007 at 2:01 am

    1 Milf.


    Sadly, not me.

    And I’ve never been to Niagara Falls. It looks stunning. Someday, perhaps….

    Lady M May 24, 2007 at 4:03 am

    Good call. Ah, room service.

    And cute baby and HBF nearby!

    Laural May 24, 2007 at 9:30 am

    I hate Niagara Falls. It’s way too touristy. But, the room service and the Starbucks. Totally my thing.

    nomotherearth May 24, 2007 at 9:49 am

    If anything is gonna make you feel better, it’s room service. Hotels rock.

    Marineland’s pretty cool too, although I’ve never seen a MILF there. Saw a whale, though.

    Bunny May 24, 2007 at 10:41 am

    Ooo! I’m jealous. I liked Niagara (the Ca side, not US so much), but it’s true that all the mundane things like drugstores and groceries are not in the touristy areas. I’ve found most hotels have emergency diaper supplies when needed, however.
    I WISH the sign meant me. . . .

    mcewen May 24, 2007 at 11:24 am

    There’s a lot of it about – my advice = trust no-one!

    kittenpie May 24, 2007 at 11:34 am

    Yes, Marineland. That would be me… I’m feeling rather dophin-y today. (And a bit milfy too, in my really very nice jeans that make me look tall!)

    Redneck Mommy May 24, 2007 at 2:07 pm

    I’d say the sign was pointing to me, but as I sit here in my sweats and mickey mouse sweat shirt, I don’t think I could sell that to anyone.

    Hope you are feeling better…

    MamaLee May 24, 2007 at 3:04 pm

    Ok, I’M the MILF.

    Sigh. Took a lot to admit that, you know.

    pgoodness May 24, 2007 at 3:16 pm

    Never been, thanks for the gorgeous pictures! Good for you with the room service and good luck with the starbucks!

    sara - The Estrogen Files May 24, 2007 at 8:27 pm

    (giggle, snicker, snort) You said MILF! Glad you got yourself a get away. Enjoy and get over the sickies!

    Denguy May 24, 2007 at 10:14 pm

    Ah, the Falls. I use to ride my bike there when I was a kid.
    Go see the lovely gardens, the floral clock, the wax museums, etc. There’s a Starbucks at the base of the Skylon Tower, and there’s one at the casino.

    melody May 25, 2007 at 12:01 am

    I’m a new visitor, but I want a hotel room…now, please. You gotta feel better with room service.

    crazymumma May 25, 2007 at 12:10 am

    yo bizatch….its totally me!

    Pattie May 25, 2007 at 6:29 am

    MILF! *heehee*….I wish it were me, but alas, no such luck *sigh*
    Anyway, first of all, Happy Belated Birthday! I am glad to see you escaped the misery and found a place of solace and room service.
    I hope you are feeling better soon, too. until then, enjoy the view!

    Grim Reality Girl May 25, 2007 at 1:48 pm

    I’m not yet a MILF…. hope to be one in the future…. not there YET! Enjoy the falls. Would love to visit there again someday…. settling for living through you, so live big!

    ali May 25, 2007 at 2:39 pm

    did you even have to ask? it’s obviously me :)

    sweatpantsmom May 25, 2007 at 3:36 pm

    God, am I out of it or what? I just had to look MILF up on

    I have to agree – Starbucks before diapers. Priorities!

    Damselfly May 25, 2007 at 6:03 pm

    You truly made me laugh out loud for the first time today with that sign!

    Enjoy the falls — haven’t been there since 84…..

    Believer in Balance May 26, 2007 at 2:06 pm

    That Marineland sign is too funny! I have to admit my memories of Niagara Falls include going to this skanky strip club for a bachelorette party (both times this same friend got married!) called Mints where the women stripped upstairs and the men downstairs. And in Canada, they take it all off and make it move! Not a pretty sight.

    FabGirl May 26, 2007 at 2:39 pm

    How hilarious. We were just there Mother’s Day weekend. The husbando “surprised” me with a few nights in the Falls (mind you we live in St. Catharines!), but fun was had by all. The kids enjoyed the room service, i adored the clean towels and the bottle of wine I brought along. Heee.

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