Comments on: No Shame

By: toyfoto

toyfoto — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 19:41:00 +0000

Breastfeeding is such a terrible-wonderful thing.

I haven't had anyone say anything to me about nursing in public, ever. And I don't know anyone who has been asked to cease and desist or move someplace less visible.

But I have witnessed so many individual problems, fears and self loathing which all seems more pervasive and damaging than public opinion.

I know we are all different beings, but in some ways I wish we were all the same: able to accept whatever we are.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 16:26:00 +0000

i’m sorry you were so fearful at first about nursing wonderbaby catherine.i, even with my first had no qualms about nursing in public.they are our boobs ladies and moms and if we want to nurse our babes why shouldn’t we?i listened to a clip of bill maher shame on him .but how many people feel like that about boobs?they are okay to look at in ads for whatever or girlie mags or hooters or bars but everyone is so offended by a mother nursing her child.how pathetic is that?….sorry the nausea is so bad HBM.i hope it gets better for you.LAVANDULA

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:07:00 +0000

Women's breasts. There is so much emphasis and interest on that female body part: The barbie doll with her epically exaggerated form mimicked and aspired by real women young and older, in the likeness of the increasingly caricatured Pamela Anderson.

Therein lie the contradictions: Sensualized but also life sustaining; Aesthetically beautiful but prone to disease. The breast is the site of suckling, both erotic and motherly.

In public spaces, there are further tensions of povocative images of the scantily clad, revealing bosom - the Calvin Klein ad, for instance, clashing with the nursing mom sitting underneath. It is in part, I believe, in these dichotomous, contradictory views, that women hide in shame and discomfort.

We've become immune to some images, yet react with outrage to others. Ironically, public spaces are no longer controlled and defined by the very people who inhabit them.

Thanks for sharing your experiences.

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 14:58:00 +0000

Our church discussion group has this little opaque screen several of the members put up so the moms could breastfeed behind it…so the moms would be more “comfortable.” HAH! Tried it one time, felt too much like a menstrual tent. From thenceforth (10 mos)I whipped it out whenever the Z Man (Zack, that is) was hungry. I was much more comfortable . Women should not be made to feel as though our bodies are dirty or something about which to be ashamed and hidden.

By: VelVerb

VelVerb — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 05:21:00 +0000

My two are long past the breastfeeding stage (they are far along into the "I hate you, drive me to the mall" stage") and I MISS it. So simple and beautiful.

My ex mother-in-law (does that make her a mother-out-law?) HATED that I breastfed and whenever we were visiting I was pointed to the back room to breastfeed alone on a very uncomfortable futon. I'm so angry at myself for not standing my ground back then.

I also once accidentally walked in on her pouring breast milk I had pumped down the sink that she intended to replace with formula.

Makes Facebook look like Mother Teresa.

By: Mimi

Mimi — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 04:46:00 +0000

Gah. I hope you feel better soon.

Also, thank you for sharing this story. It's a powerful thing to hear someone so confident as yourself express this kind of vulnerability.

Long live the boobies!

By: Janet

Janet — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 20:59:00 +0000

Babies get hungry when they get hungry and breasts deliver the ultimate fast food. It’s damn annoying when people criticize a completely natural act, particularly when that “natural” act can be very, very difficult to get the hang of in the beginning.

I applaud you.

By: LD

LD — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 15:11:00 +0000

I felt almost the exact same way you did about breastfeeding. I only committed to it, because of a study that showed it reduced the likelyhood of Crohn’s disease–and I’ve watched my husband suffer with that for the last 7 years. I never had other mothers to encourage me– I didn’t find these blogs until almost after I had weaned my son. But I think that your writing, and the writing that we all try to accomplish on our blogs can only help the cause.

By: painted maypole

painted maypole — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 14:13:00 +0000

sing it, sister!

By: Not a Princess

Not a Princess — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 03:00:00 +0000

You were so lucky! To have the supportive husband I mean. PC (Prince Charming to those who don’t know us) comes from a family who shuns breastfeeding at about the same level as say human sacrifice. They think its gross, and inconvenient, and it interferes with Grandmas bonding, etc. I however, had my first two kids alone and there are two really cool things about breastfeeding (for me) 1) its free; and 2) its easy – no bottles, no sterilizing, just whip out the boobie and feed.
So, since PC was deployed when the Pumpkin was born I continued in my usual fashion with newborns alone. I breastfed… For two years (ok – one week shy of two years) – that part wasn’t normal with the first two I went back to work/school when they were about 7 months old and they took to bottles and formula quite happily with only the occasional glance back at Mom’s boobies. The Pumpkin – not so much. When I walked in the door he started ripping my top off. Wherever we were. (I went to work when he was only four months old and I think that is the big difference – he just wasn’t ready and he got used to bottles without seeing any need to give up Mama Milk when mama was present).

Anyway – what I was trying to get to was this. My friend Amber was never a successful breastfeeder – it was a hideous experience for her with both kids made much worse by the lactation consultants (aka breastfeeding nazis) where her kids were born. But for all that, her dh CUT MY MEAT FOR ME once a week when the Pumpkin was a baby because the Pumpkins feeding frenzy started promptly at five each evening and so when they invited me over for dinner I would sit at the table breastfeeding while eating with one hand.

We used to laugh about how if we were eating in my house with PC present, I would have been banished to the bedroom to “do that.”