I have a friend who works with autistic kids and said one of the boys he worked with was the nicest person he’d ever met.

I’m guessing your baby turned out fine since I’ve not seen more on this topic!

Guess I’ll have to take a peek at the archives.

I hope it will turn out OK. I agree with the person who said don’t listen to people. They will project their own fears or desires or wishes or ideas upon you and nothing they say will be useful to you because they are not you. So I would stay away from experts and information until the baby comes and if you need stuff to help the baby, help the baby.

That’s my projecting. When uncertain, I seek out information and then I just interpret everything as bad.

For us, that meant not doing any further testing. We decided that if the baby had Downs, then we’d handle it. It was actually a load off of our minds to come to that conclusion, and I was relieved to be able to just sort of let go and let whatever was going to happen happen.

We definitely grappled (and still do) with the idea that maybe all of these tests aren’t so helpful after all… would it have been better to just not know? Of course there is no answer to that one, and if I were pregnant again, I don’t know… maybe I’d still have all the same tests.

Whatever the decision you make as far as testing goes, I know it will be the right thing for you. Hang in there… it’s so hard!!!!

BTW, my son is fine after all that. That was a relief, but by the time he was born and we knew for sure, we were pretty comfortable with the idea that we might have a disabled child to love. We knew we could handle it… no matter what.

Now, my world is full of kids with disabilities, including Down syndrome. I agree with everyone who says, if you are not willing to terminate, don’t do the amnio.

I also strongly suggest reading up on Down’s. There are great blogs on the subject, those that talk about spirituality, but those that also talk about the challenges.

There is no right or wrong here. There is only you and your family.

My heart goes out to you, Catherine.

Second, I went through a similar thing. But my u/s had MANY findings and I had an amnio then and there because, like you, I HAD to know.

My daughter did have a rare chromosome disorder, but looking back, I wish I didn’t know beforehand. If you aren’t going to end the pregnancy, it can often make your pregnancy miserable. We were given so much doom and gloom (your baby will NEVER make it to term, she will definitely not live live long after birth, she will definitely need extensive heart surgery IF she survives, she will never EVER make it to one year. Well, they were right about the chromosome disorder, but wrong about a lot. She is 4 1/2. She has never had heart surgery. She is definitely severely disabled, but she is so sweet not even close to the “vegetable” they predicted she would be. I thought I could never ever handle such a child, but I did and I do. It can be hard, my other children can often be just as challenging.

Take care, don’t let the “experts” scare you too much (they know so much less than you think!) and keep the faith.

Kind of anticlimactic.

It did not hurt… Was, I think, sort of akin to acupuncture sized needle.

It helped me a lot. Helped me go into my birth process without some programmed urge to inspect the baby for ‘abnormality’. It helped me plan my maternity leave expectations and it helped me progress/process information about ‘the baby’ with my little girl soon to be big sister.

I needed the information. Pass/Fail.

We understood many of the things you’ve said in your posts. Ours sat in draft for so long but they faded away under the delete. You have an amazing readership, don’t you think?

I chose to not have an amnio, and though I’m still happy with my decision I was uneasy the rest of my pregnancy. I couldn’t handle the risk of miscarraige or harming the baby that inherently comes with an amnio, even though those risks are very small. It’s a hard, personal decision, but if you will be miserable the rest of your pregnancy not knowing, you should consider having an amnio.

Good luck! I know it’s hard, but you can handle whatever comes your way!

As for your baby, Down syndrome or not, you will love him or her, no matter what. A special needs child is not the end of the world, it does alter your world, forever, but I get so much from my daughter, I can’t imagine my life without her. She opened my heart in a way my other two children never did.

What ever happens, I wish you well. Take care.