Comments on: Mommy Dearest http://herbadmother.com/2008/04/mommy-dearest/ Bad Is The New Good Wed, 23 May 2012 11:54:58 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Kerry http://herbadmother.com/2008/04/mommy-dearest/comment-page-2/#comment-17502 Kerry Tue, 06 May 2008 22:49:00 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/blog/?p=482#comment-17502 I just went through the same exact thing with my 3 y/o daughter. I had my baby son last Friday. For the last couple of weeks and even to this very minute, my daughter is "daddy's girl". She left me in tears at the hospital when she was leaving I said "I miss you", and there was silence. "I said "do you miss Mommy?", she said "no". And the entire time she wouldn't even come near me, let alone look at me. She's made me cry more times in the last month than I've cried in 5 years. <br/>You are doing nothing wrong. This is the way it is for now. For now. Then one day she's going to relate more to you and copy everything YOU do. <br/>xoxo Good luck! I just went through the same exact thing with my 3 y/o daughter. I had my baby son last Friday. For the last couple of weeks and even to this very minute, my daughter is “daddy’s girl”. She left me in tears at the hospital when she was leaving I said “I miss you”, and there was silence. “I said “do you miss Mommy?”, she said “no”. And the entire time she wouldn’t even come near me, let alone look at me. She’s made me cry more times in the last month than I’ve cried in 5 years.
You are doing nothing wrong. This is the way it is for now. For now. Then one day she’s going to relate more to you and copy everything YOU do.
xoxo Good luck!

]]> By: gwendomama http://herbadmother.com/2008/04/mommy-dearest/comment-page-2/#comment-17382 gwendomama Sat, 03 May 2008 18:16:00 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/blog/?p=482#comment-17382 This is nature. This is the continuum concept.<br/>This has happened with my daughter each time I have given birth to her baby brothers.<br/>IT broke my heart. But when the baby was born, I saw the necessity of it and the magic in the ability of a toddler to self-protect.<br/>If she breaks away from you through her autonomous instincts, then it won't be all about YOU pushing her away when OMFG she has to share you.<br/><br/>imho. This is nature. This is the continuum concept.
This has happened with my daughter each time I have given birth to her baby brothers.
IT broke my heart. But when the baby was born, I saw the necessity of it and the magic in the ability of a toddler to self-protect.
If she breaks away from you through her autonomous instincts, then it won’t be all about YOU pushing her away when OMFG she has to share you.

imho.

]]> By: Anonymous http://herbadmother.com/2008/04/mommy-dearest/comment-page-2/#comment-17366 Anonymous Fri, 02 May 2008 17:14:00 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/blog/?p=482#comment-17366 So, two things to think about...<br/>as soon as you have your new little one- she will want your attention back.... it's temporary and inconvenient.<br/>Maybe more useful, little ones her age want to feel like they have some control, even about when they get attention/affection, so try giving her space (even though it's hard knowing baby is around the corner) but she may just want to hug you and kiss you when she feels like it not when you do. <br/>My little one (3) will not tolerate being hugged and kissed unless it's his idea, being all grown up and not babyish anymore, but still wants to snuggle between star wars battles and important construction work. So, two things to think about…
as soon as you have your new little one- she will want your attention back…. it’s temporary and inconvenient.
Maybe more useful, little ones her age want to feel like they have some control, even about when they get attention/affection, so try giving her space (even though it’s hard knowing baby is around the corner) but she may just want to hug you and kiss you when she feels like it not when you do.
My little one (3) will not tolerate being hugged and kissed unless it’s his idea, being all grown up and not babyish anymore, but still wants to snuggle between star wars battles and important construction work.

]]> By: Commander Mommy http://herbadmother.com/2008/04/mommy-dearest/comment-page-2/#comment-17359 Commander Mommy Fri, 02 May 2008 12:52:00 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/blog/?p=482#comment-17359 There is a reason that my Trooper was referred to as "Darth Toddler" for about two years of his life! It is discouraging when they go through the "I only love Daddy because he doesn't tell me 'no' nearly as often as Mommy" stage but they do grow out of it. I promise. There is a reason that my Trooper was referred to as “Darth Toddler” for about two years of his life! It is discouraging when they go through the “I only love Daddy because he doesn’t tell me ‘no’ nearly as often as Mommy” stage but they do grow out of it. I promise.

]]> By: Omaha Mama http://herbadmother.com/2008/04/mommy-dearest/comment-page-2/#comment-17356 Omaha Mama Fri, 02 May 2008 02:13:00 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/blog/?p=482#comment-17356 My sister stayed home with her kids and they all preferred her husband. He was the hero, she was the bi-otch. It just goes that way sometimes. Just keep offering the love, she'll take it when she needs it. I think it's just important that she knows it's there. That it's unconditional. She wouldn't treat you that way if she didn't know.<br/>It will get worse before it gets better. She'll be pissed when you bring baby boy home. My girl was almost three when we brought home her brother. Now he's two and they're happy and we're a family. It all works out.<br/><br/>But when I brought him home and she punished me, I cried. I told my Hubs that we had ruined it. That she didn't love me any more. But she did. <br/><br/>This too shall pass. My sister stayed home with her kids and they all preferred her husband. He was the hero, she was the bi-otch. It just goes that way sometimes. Just keep offering the love, she’ll take it when she needs it. I think it’s just important that she knows it’s there. That it’s unconditional. She wouldn’t treat you that way if she didn’t know.
It will get worse before it gets better. She’ll be pissed when you bring baby boy home. My girl was almost three when we brought home her brother. Now he’s two and they’re happy and we’re a family. It all works out.

But when I brought him home and she punished me, I cried. I told my Hubs that we had ruined it. That she didn’t love me any more. But she did.

This too shall pass.

]]> By: Her Bad Mother http://herbadmother.com/2008/04/mommy-dearest/comment-page-2/#comment-17353 Her Bad Mother Thu, 01 May 2008 22:51:00 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/blog/?p=482#comment-17353 Mo-Wo - watching Supernanny terrorizes me. Yes, in theory, it should make me feel better, but really, it only makes me feel better in the same way that Texas Chainsaw Massacre makes me feel better that I don't live in Texas with a chainsaw-wielding neighbor. Mo-Wo – watching Supernanny terrorizes me. Yes, in theory, it should make me feel better, but really, it only makes me feel better in the same way that Texas Chainsaw Massacre makes me feel better that I don’t live in Texas with a chainsaw-wielding neighbor.

]]> By: Rayne of Terror http://herbadmother.com/2008/04/mommy-dearest/comment-page-2/#comment-17313 Rayne of Terror Thu, 01 May 2008 12:06:00 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/blog/?p=482#comment-17313 I call it the chopped liver stage and for us it last, oh, about 18 months. From 18 months to 3 years old. Now it is tapering off and I get more snuggles and I love yous than Go Aways. I call it the chopped liver stage and for us it last, oh, about 18 months. From 18 months to 3 years old. Now it is tapering off and I get more snuggles and I love yous than Go Aways.

]]> By: Bri http://herbadmother.com/2008/04/mommy-dearest/comment-page-2/#comment-17312 Bri Thu, 01 May 2008 07:34:00 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/blog/?p=482#comment-17312 I was a total daddy's girl and I can't remember having any real connection with my mother until I was a teenager. This may not be much of a comfort (don't panic and think that she'll continue this way until puberty!) but I thought it was important to say what I'm sure everyone else is saying. It's totally normal. Heartbreaking, but normal.<br/><br/>((Hugs)) I was a total daddy’s girl and I can’t remember having any real connection with my mother until I was a teenager. This may not be much of a comfort (don’t panic and think that she’ll continue this way until puberty!) but I thought it was important to say what I’m sure everyone else is saying. It’s totally normal. Heartbreaking, but normal.

((Hugs))

]]> By: OvaGirl http://herbadmother.com/2008/04/mommy-dearest/comment-page-2/#comment-17311 OvaGirl Thu, 01 May 2008 06:19:00 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/blog/?p=482#comment-17311 God this post made me cry. Mine bit me, hard, when I was carrying him and he wanted his daddy instead. Hang in there. God this post made me cry. Mine bit me, hard, when I was carrying him and he wanted his daddy instead. Hang in there.

]]> By: mo-wo http://herbadmother.com/2008/04/mommy-dearest/comment-page-2/#comment-17310 mo-wo Thu, 01 May 2008 04:37:00 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/blog/?p=482#comment-17310 Hey I just had an idea. You should start watching the SuperNanny show 3x a day. That will give anyone a new lease on not sucking, any day. Hey I just had an idea. You should start watching the SuperNanny show 3x a day. That will give anyone a new lease on not sucking, any day.

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