Further update below…
I have never been so emotionally exhausted in all my life.
Zachary is improved. Improved enough that we can say, now – our hearts in our mouths – he almost died. He almost died.
We can only say that, now, because there is every reason to remain hopeful that that ‘almost‘ will remain past tense. Expectantly hopeful. Positively hopeful.
But still: my heart is so tired.
I have been in hospital with Zachary – alongside my sister, who has been sleeping in a chair at his side for a week now – around the clock, cut off from the rest of the world. Soon it will be time to return. For the moment, my access to technology is limited. And that’s fine – my attention, my energies, my everything is needed here.
But still. I am so tired. I wish that I were not so tired, so that I could use my words, find solace in using my words, telling this story.
Soon.
Update: we’re still at hospital. Zachary has sustained such extensive nerve damage that they don’t know if he’ll be able to walk again. He’s trying so, so hard. It’s both heart-bursting and heart-breaking.
Me, I’m living in the dark ages – there’s no wireless here and my smartphone isn’t working properly and so I only have computer access when I stand in line for the one dial-up system on the ward. I’m limited to text and sporadic access to some machine that was built in 1983. But know that I am – and Zachary is, and my sister is – receiving all your warm wishes and hopes and prayers.
{ 92 comments }
Next Comments →
Our hearts go out to you and your family. I hope that all the good thoughts and prayers emanating from your friends here have helped to buoy your spirits and Zachary’s little body, helping you both through this terrible time.
I can’t imagine how exhausted, how spent you all must be. What a difficult time. I’m glad things are improving and I’ll be praying that all is well soon for Zachary.
I’m so glad that you were able to be there… for yourself, for Zach, and probably mostly for your sister. You rock hardcore.
xo
b.
P.S. Now, rest easy, little one.
I’m so glad he’s doing better Catherine.
So glad to hear Z is doing better. Hope you get some much needed rest soon!
I am so glad that it is now an almost rather than did.
I’m so sorry that this happened. My thoughts have been with you and your family.
Glad to hear he is improving.
Take time to rest – and share only when you are ready.
xo
So glad to hear that Zachary is doing better. Hopefully, you and your sister will soon be able to get some much needed rest.
I’m so glad Zachary is getting better. I’m so sorry you are so exhausted mentally and physically. Thanks for keeping us posted … as you know know many of us were very worried and thinking of you. I hope the baby and you sleep on the flight home!
I’m glad things are improving.
I’m crying for your nephew, for you, for your family. Not sure if the tears are happy or sad. Probably a little of both.
I can’t even imagine. Was thinking of you and Zachary all weekend and glad to see the news you’ve posted today. Will continue to send positive thoughts his way.
I’ve been thinking of you guys all week-end. I’m tearing up now just imagining how you must feel.
i’m so glad to hear things are starting to turn around.
my little brother almost died under similar circumstances when he was four. (he’s just ten now) so i know what you mean about the heart in the throat thing, and the “almost” being so precious and important. i still remember what he looked like in the hospital bed, with his body bearing little resembelance to his actual self.
when my daughter was born she was taken to the city hospital while i stayed in the local hospital in hysterics. my hub went with her and i was there all alone. my doctor came and patted my leg and said “soon, your family will be together again and this will all be a distant memory.” i was so mad at him for saying that at the time, but i realize now he was right. the thing with my little brother is a distant (yet still tear invoking) memory. kids are thankfully so resiliant.
i hope your family will be together again soon, so this can start being a memory.
HUGS!
This, is very, very good. He will recover. And your energy is obviously part of what got him to this point. Love to you family from everyone here.
Glad to hear the little one is on the mend. Will be even gladder to read your story. Because I love your stories, but also? Because that means you’re rested again.
Oh Catherine! I’m so glad. So very glad. What an awful scare. Hug your sister extra hard for me, even though she doesn’t know me.
My heart goes out to you and your family. I’m hoping each day that you have a positive update.
Love to all of you.
I am glad to hear that Zachary is doing better. I have been thinking about and praying for him and his momma.
I am glad that Zachary is doing better. I will continue to keep him, your sister and you in my prayers. Thankfully you are able to be there with them!
I am so glad to hear the good news that he is getting better. Your sister is lucky to have you there and I’m sure it makes all the difference in the world to have that kind of support at a time like this. Take care of yourself, will continue to send good thoughts your way!
Hugs and love. And much rest and renewed strength to you all.
Rest now. Renew.
I’m so thankful that Zachary is doing better, and I’m so glad that you could be there with your sister. I can’t imagine how much she needed you.
I am sure your endless love and support ahs meant the world to them both. So glad to hear he is doing better. Rest well.
Very hopeful myself, and relieved and full of love for you, my friend.
Hopeful!!!!!!!
Remaining Hopeful!!!!!!
Hugs!
I’m so glad you went there to be with everyone (and for yourself!!)…Zachary sure is loved and I’m sure he has felt it all along the way – even through his sufferings…may your family all rest up and God-speed on Zachary’s full recovery!!
So wonderful to hear that he’s improving. He remains in my prayers as he regains strength and can return home. I’m so glad you were able to get there and be a support for your family.
I'm glad things are looking up. Hang in there. Poor Z. I wish him a speedy recovery. & a quick exit from hospital (they are so miserable)
Gosh, Catherine. I’ve been away for a bit and am just catching up now. I cannot imagine how exhausted and wrung out you must feel right now… I’m heartened to read that Zachary is improving — how hopeful and encouraging for all of you! Hope he recovers readily and will soon be home with his family.
Take care of yourself, too.
I’m so very glad to hear that Zachary is improving. Hopeful and wishing you all the best.
Thanks so much for posting the update. We know you’re so exhausted, but hang in there. Continued prayers for all of you.
Thank God that Zachary is doing better. I will keep praying that he makes a full recovery. I hope rest and peace decend upon you.
If I could ship you a triple grande, half caf, extra foam, easy on the vanilla latte, I so totally would.
You are the best sister (and aunt) ever Catherine.
Prayers and more prayers coming his way! I am glad the news is positive.
Glad to hear he’s turned the corner! Keep us posted. Have been praying.
I’m so relieved to hear that you have this hope to hold onto. And it was so amazing of you to fly out and be there for your family.
You’re an awesome lady.
I’m glad Zachary is doing better. Thank you for letting us know.
That’s good to hear. Don’t forget to take care of yourself now.
This is wonderful news. I’ve been thinking about your family a lot. I can’t imagine the exhaustion. I hope you get a chance to rest a bit now that he’s improving.
Oh, Catherine! I’m so glad he has improved! I have been thinking and praying for you all.
That’s great that you were able to get out there to be with your family, especially your sister. I’m sure you are taking care of her, cause I doubt she is taking care of herself. I know I’d be a complete wreck and need my sister for support.
Thank God. Let the healing continue.
I’ve been obsessively checking back for an update and I’m soooo fucking thankful the news is good. Here’s hoping you get some rest soon!
Hang in there, chickadee. Be where you need to be, we’re not going anywhere. Sending get well thoughts to your nephew…and hugs to you.
I can’t even fathom having to whisper those words.
Peace and strength to you and yours.
So glad to hear you can say almost.
I hope somebody can send your sister for a massage once Zachary is home from the hospital. The combination of prolonged extreme stress plus sleeping in a chair can NOT be good for the body. Still keeping my fingers and toes crossed for your nephew.
Almost counts in more than horseshoes and hand grenades…
I am glad this is an ALMOST..I wish him a full recovery..thank god he is getting better
Wishing for a speedy recovery of his health, his mother’s sanity and your heart.
Next Comments →
Comments on this entry are closed.