Under The Blanket

September 9, 2008

It was the kind of thing that would have outraged me, had it happened any other day, any other week. It was the kind of thing that would have had me out of my seat, demanding explanation. It was the kind of thing that I would have written letters about, that I would have blogged and twittered and shared, about which I would have said, I would have hollered, to anyone who would listen, look, this just shouldn’t happen, we need to make sure that this doesn’t happen, why the f*ck does this still happen?

But it was the wrong day, the wrong week, and I just wasn’t up for it because my heart was too heavy and my head was too full and the last thing I needed was an argument with a flight attendant about whether or not I really should cover myself up with a blanket while nursing.

When she approached me in my seat near the back of the plane, blanket in hand, I ignored her. Jasper was tucked in at my breast, wrapped in his own blanket, his head pressed against the white half-moon of flesh that was barely visible beneath him. His head was damp from the stream of tears that had been running down my cheeks from the moment of our departure, the tears that I’d held back while saying my goodbyes. I bent my head over his, shielding my face, my breast, my baby, my tears from view with the veil of my hair. I didn’t even look up when she spoke to me.

Excuse me, perhaps you’d like to cover up with a blanket?

I don’t answer.

I brought a blanket for you.

She crouches slightly, bending closer. I gather my voice. I’m afraid that it will crack.

I’m fine, thank you.

She stands up, still holding the blanket in front of me.

Well. Perhaps I’ll leave it with you?

I don’t answer.

She reaches across me, across Jasper, and drops the blanket on the empty seat beside me. If you need help with it, let me know.

Thank you, I say, my jaw clenched, my throat closed. I am trying to not cry anymore than I already am.

Some women are more comfortable nursing with a blanket. I can’t see her, my head bent as it is, but I imagine that she stiffens defensively.

My tears are getting hot. I swallow my anger.

Thank you.

And then she walked away, and I kept my head bent over my baby for as long as he nursed and as long as he slept and until the tension in the back of my neck became too much to bear.

I didn’t say anything. I had always though that if that happened to me, I would say something. That I would I would ask why she was pressing the blanket upon me, that I would ask if it was WestJet policy to ‘suggest’ to nursing mothers that they cover up, that I would say that if I was comfortable with blankets I would have one with me, that I would say that no nursing mother wants a stranger bent over her while she nurses, asking if she wouldn’t rather cover up for privacy, that I would, if I had the nerve, ask are you serious? Are you really serious? Do you not see that I might be offended, be made more uncomfortable, by your hovering, by your suggestion that I cover up? To say, no nursing mother should ever be told to cover up. To say, it is my right, it is my child’s right, to nurse and be nursed here, right here, right now, in the manner that best serves us both. To say, fuck your blanket.

I always thought that I would say something, if it happened to me.

I hadn’t figured that I might, if happened to me, be caught in an anxious, unguarded moment, that I might be feeling vulnerable, that my heart might be sore, that I might not be the cocky self-assured self that I can be when I’m protected by my words, by the screen, by the condition of being virtual. I hadn’t thought that, in the reality of such a moment, I might just fold under the weight of my anxieties and my hurts and my self-consciousness about those anxieties and hurts, about my self-consciousness, full stop, and just want to disappear. Under a blanket, maybe.

Which is precisely the problem, as I’ve said before. A nursing mother is very often a mother at her most vulnerable. A nursing mother traveling – a nursing mother traveling on her own – a nursing mother traveling on her own and weeping – is almost certainly a mother at her most vulnerable. To approach woman under these circumstances to suggest that she do something to modify her behavior is to exploit her vulnerability. It is – and maybe this is too strong a statement, although on the basis of my own experience I think not – to bully.

I wish that I had the emotional strength right now to be more outraged about this. I wish that I had the emotional strength, even, to express a measure of outrage that amounts to more than this heavy sighing, this defeated complaint. I wish that I had the mental and emotional wherewithal to write a letter, to send an e-mail, to make a phone call. But I don’t. I’m spent, completely and totally spent. Everything that I have is going toward supporting my family and keeping my own emotional ballasts stable. There was, there is, nothing left over.

All there was to do, all there is to do, is to take cover under the blanket, and hope that it doesn’t smother.

*******

One of you, anonymously, took the initiative to get the contact information for media relations at WestJet. If you’re so inclined to express your opposition to policies advocating the blanketing of nursing babies on airplanes, here it is: Gillian Bentley, Media Relations, e-mail: gbentley@westjet.com.

Many of you have told me that you’ve already sent e-mails linking to this post. You are all so, so awesome. It’s warming, to be so surrounded by heroes, bare-breasted or otherwise.

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    { 212 comments }

    kathy September 9, 2008 at 4:25 pm

    I don’t disagree, it is obvious the attendant was suggesting covering up and her approach was wrong. My point is that we don’t know her motivation. These could have been very misguided attempts to help someone she thought was upset. It is possible that the attendant wouldn’t have looked twice at HBM breast feeding if she had been in a more positive emotional state. To fly off the handle and accuse this flight attendant and West Jet of being “anti-breast feeding” may not be appropriate. She handled this interaction very poorly and should be educated (along with all airline staff) accordingly. If she has a history of this sort of behavior and West Jet has not addressed it then yes, there is a more serious problem.

    excavator September 9, 2008 at 4:31 pm

    I just sent a message (per How…About…’s suggestion above) to Gillian Bentely.

    I hope she gets swamped with them and does some staff education pronto.

    Please don’t be too hard on yourself. It was enough that you refused, and you were certainly on a higher road than the flight attendant.

    fruitlady September 9, 2008 at 4:40 pm

    There’s a bigger struggle here that this is a smaller part of. The struggle to not impose our opinions, our reactions, and our judgments on others. There is always another side to the story and another tale to tell. A box of kleenex would have probably been more appropriate for her to bring to you, but her own baggage prevented her from really noticing what was happening there. A woman suffering and while suffering providing comfort and nourishment to a child. It’s too bad she couldn’t have taken off the blinders of her job or her personal opinions to really take note of what was happening.

    Miss Grace September 9, 2008 at 5:00 pm

    That’s almost exactly how it happened to me. Except (I’m sorry I know it’s not true) it was worse because it was happening to me. And I was already so tired and I was on the train and uncomfortable ANYWAYS and I had this MAN telling me that I was offending people when I was the only person in the car and…sigh…I completely sympathize.

    Lindsay Lebresco September 9, 2008 at 5:14 pm

    I probably should have been more grateful when the sweet stewardess at US Airways let me pump in the galley since the bathroom didn’t have a plug. I’m here to say that US Airways was great to me – not sure the other (male) passengers were as grateful for their graciousness. :)

    Her Bad Mother September 9, 2008 at 5:27 pm

    kathy, I don’t think that it was immediately obvious that I was in any sort of distress – it was the sort of very quiet choked up crying that just involves tears streaming down the face – she definitely knew from the moment that she kneeled down to give me the blanket to cover up. It would have a been a good moment to back off. But no, I don’t know her motivations. All I know is that she was pretty insistent about the benefits of the balnket.

    Delphine September 9, 2008 at 5:37 pm

    I was surprised to see so many women breast-feeding with blankets in the US and other countries because in France, and I guess some other european countries, we are really cool about that. Anyway, I am glad you’re safely home with your loving family and I send all my best from across the pond for Zach’s recovery.

    The Stiletto Mom September 9, 2008 at 5:55 pm

    Rudest woman ever. Aside from just being horrid, suggesting you throw one of those germy nasty blankets over YOUR BABY? Uh, no thanks…I’m with everyone else…you should complain. I did once and got 6,000 free miles (roughly 1/4 of a free ticket..but still).

    rhea_sun September 9, 2008 at 5:55 pm

    OMG, it’s the return of the big scary BOOB!

    Seriously? Are we not grown up enough in this civilization to have nursing mothers anywhere and everywhere? Must we cover them under blankets because it’s *so* shameful to be a mother?

    If I were you I would have snarled and promptly broken into pieces, kudos to you for keeping it together.

    Nina September 9, 2008 at 5:56 pm

    So, so very sorry Catherine.

    After what you have been through these past couple of weeks, for that to happen on top of everything…I’m just so sorry.

    Anissa Mayhew September 9, 2008 at 7:10 pm

    Catherine,

    I’m sorry for the tears, the pain and fear your family has endured over the past weeks. and I’m so worry it was made worse by some douchebag of an attendant who needs to learn that nursing is the most natural thing you could possibly do.

    {{HUGS}}

    Omaha Mama September 9, 2008 at 7:46 pm

    Maybe you could just email or mail this post to the airline? Just as a thank you very little.
    I’m sorry you felt vulnerable, on top of everything else. And I’m sorry that you were made to feel the way you were made to feel.

    litanyofbritt September 9, 2008 at 7:53 pm

    don’t you hate moments like this where you think of all the great things to say or do after the fact. you did good by not covering up. that was a statement in itself.

    i have no idea how to bf with a blanket without smothering my baby who is now 6 months old, and F THAT if you don’t want to see me bfing, general public, avert your eyes. or stick a blanket over your head,. or maybe you could go eat lunch on a public toilet whilst i leisurely feed my baby in the food court.

    i did have to stare down an old man who was glaring at me, and even so much as walked across the room CLOSER to me to glare in case i had missed it. i gave him what-the-fuck-would-you-like-a-sip-yourself face until he backed off. i should have aimed and fired. is that assault?

    litanyofbritt September 9, 2008 at 7:56 pm

    oh and although i doubt they would give a rats ass about some random passenger, i think emailing the link to this post and the plethra of angry voices behind it may be enough for at the very least a written apology.

    Karen MEG September 9, 2008 at 8:11 pm

    I am so outraged for you Catherine. I think you handled it well, the message certainly came across from the sounds of it. Just so ignorant… it’s unfortunate this continues to happen.
    I remember when the girl was a few months old, I was in a mall and an older lady came by to admire her. Then girlie got fussy as it was time to eat, so I positioned her on my boob with her blanket. And I have very little boob, so there was really nothing showing. The lady was shocked, looked away, and said that there were rooms for “that”. She was a grandmother too.

    I just said we were fine and quite comfortable where we were. Those “rooms” that she spoke of were in the washroom – ugh, smelly, and forget that!

    Ruth Dynamite September 9, 2008 at 9:02 pm

    Flush.

    Just flush away mosquito brains like this ignoramus. You just take care of yourself now, OK? Think of all your internet pals as bare-breasted warriors standing by your side. We’ll scare away the blanket brigade yet! Hang in there.

    Satsuki Rebel September 9, 2008 at 9:37 pm

    I’m sorry that this happened to you. Personally, my babe is still only 1 1/2 but another mum breastfeeding in front of me without a covering of some sort would make me uncomfortable. However, instead of saying anything, being offended, or shooting you a look I would turn my head in a different direction. You have the right to bf how you see fit. I understand why the attendant offered you a blanket but she should have left it at that and just left. Pushing your beliefs on others ISN’T a good thing regardless of what our society tells (forces on) us.

    Shannon September 9, 2008 at 9:47 pm

    Oh – I could cry – and yell! The nerve! (And I am not prone to exclamation points.) I’ve sent a letter on your behalf. I’m so sorry – for all of it, all the pain and stress you’re going through right now. A week after my youngest was born, my mother nearly died in my livingroom. It turns out she had leukemia. The stress of the months (years?) that followed was just horrible. I just don’t understand why so many people find it so hard to be human. My thoughts are with you. I wish I knew what else to say other than hang in there….

    Anonymous September 9, 2008 at 9:50 pm

    I have and do BF in public – sitting on a bench in the mall, on planes, in restaurants, etc. I _myself_ was usually more comfortable with a blanket, especially with the first, but sometimes it was hot, or I didn’t have one along, or she kept pushing it off… And it was fine.

    That being said, to give the attendant the benefit of the doubt, she might have noticed you were traveling alone, and maybe not seeming very comfortable, and the blanket might have been a helpful gesture… but then she should have left it alone much, much sooner. A possibly helpfully-meant offer, but “I’m fine, thank you” and she could have left you alone, without seeming pushy about it.

    That’s really what it comes down to, doesn’t it… was she pushily trying to get you to cover up because, oh, gosh, shameful body part!!!! or trying to be helpful and let you be more comfortable?

    Either way, good for you to nurse your child in the way that served you both best, and know that many, many of us are thinking of you and wishing you, and your family, well.

    Anonymous September 9, 2008 at 9:58 pm

    WEST JET welcome to 2008; hiding a nursing baby under a blanket was wrong back in 1958, but back then we didn’t know it was wrong. Now we know better. Shame on you.

    Susan Getgood September 9, 2008 at 10:06 pm

    I agree with motherbumper and mothergoosemouse. When you feel you can, you should let the airline know. Even if you just send your post with a note that lets them know that this is how you, their customer, were made to feel on their airline.

    And I am so sorry that you’ve had such a rough time and insensitivity made it worse.

    whensheworeponytails September 9, 2008 at 10:12 pm

    WestJet? You just give me the date it occurred and I’ll be writing me some letters. That’s bullshit and I’m sick to death (and you’ll excuse me for generalizing) of women being permitted to walk around with half their tits hanging out if it is a low neck shirt and showing off the goods but GOD FORBID a baby be eating! GASP! The HORROR!!

    I’m there, lady. I got your back and I’m with you.

    I’m so sorry that this happened to you while you were already going through so much. I truly am. It’s hard enough to deal with emotional turmoil without assholes acting like assholes.

    Like I said, I’m ready and willing and filled with plenty of venom to write the letter. I’ll call them assholes so politely they won’t know whether to hug me or be angry.

    Anonymous September 9, 2008 at 10:13 pm

    Please Catherine, give us the flight number and the date of the flight. All of us who have the energy right now need to write to Westjet, saying that our friend was made uncomfortable by a staff member making inappropriate suggestions, and as nursing mothers ourselves, we find it unjust, unecessary, and offensive. I’ve been there too, and was too weak and vulnerable to make a fuss at the time. But I’m stronger now! And I/we want to do this for us, and for the women who come after us.

    whensheworeponytails September 9, 2008 at 10:26 pm

    I emailed

    Gillian Bentley, Media Relations
    e-mail: gbentley@westjet.com

    and I BCC to you.

    I hope they apologize to you. They owe you and Jasper AT LEAST that much.

    Dana September 9, 2008 at 10:44 pm

    I want a t-shirt that says f*ck you blanket. Awesome.

    Love and hugs for you, fists for the boob haters. xoxoxoxoxo

    Mekhismom September 9, 2008 at 10:51 pm

    You would think in this day and age mothers would be able to feed their children without being made to feel like we are offending others. I am so sorry to hear that this happened when you are in a vulnerable place. Perhaps you can write a letter to the airlines – the treatment that your received was uncalled for.

    Brandi September 9, 2008 at 10:55 pm

    I just weaned my 2yo a few months ago and I nursed him where and when I needed to. Sometimes with a cover (because I didn’t care for the atmosphere created…) most of the time without. He never liked being covered up.

    My point being, I am SO sorry you felt bullied at a point when you were feeling terrible anyway. And I am really sorry that we have to look at barely legal girls boobs spilling out of their shirts and ass-cracks showing 6 inches above their pants, all the time(!), and no airline attendant would ever think of offending her by asking her to cover up.

    I second the general assessment that you handled yourself extremely well and perhaps, “no thank you” was the most dignified response regardless of your emotional state, simple statements like that speak more than screaming and shouting.

    Rather, I wish she had asked if there was something she could do to help regarding your crying (something to drink, a bump to First class, something like that) rather than offering a “solution” for a problem that didn’t exist.

    I give you {{hugs}} and keep your tits out and doing what they were made for, for as long as YOU want!

    Cynthia Samuels September 9, 2008 at 10:55 pm

    Clearly we need to gather the League of Maternal Justice immediately. Is WestJet the real name? Of course it could have been one lame flight attendant OR she could have thought she was helping (my sons say I see the world through pink “Cindy glasses” but still, it’s possible. In any event I saw rally the League! Immediately.

    Mom101 September 9, 2008 at 10:59 pm

    No fucking way. You. YOU of all people.

    I think it’s wonderful that you’re not afraid to admit that even the women in charge of the boob brigade against Facebook sometimes just don’t have the fight in them. Sometimes it’s just easier to ignore…or cover up.

    You’re amazing.

    Andria and Co. September 9, 2008 at 11:03 pm

    Oh honey, I feel for you. Fly AA next time. The last time I flew, the stewardess was so excited to see me nursing, and talked (loudly) about her own days of nursing.

    LetterB September 9, 2008 at 11:07 pm

    What did they expect when they started eliminating the in-flight meal? At least you weren’t breastfeeding your seatmate who probably could have used it.

    Seriously, my hackles may never go down after reading this post. I am completely outraged in every way for you. Stoopid American that I am I have never heard of WestJet but I can tell you right now they are dead to me forever.

    Ashley September 9, 2008 at 11:07 pm

    WestJet? I AM APPALLED. While you were CRYING? If I’d have been there, I’d have said something FOR you. As a MOTHER and as someone who has been there. Let’s start a blogger boycott.

    I wrote about a similar thing a couple of years back when a Vermont woman was asked to de-board a plane for nursing her child. Crazy. http://www.theredheadedlefty.com/2006/11/angry-moms-to-donkey-kick-delta-in-gut.html

    Don Mills Diva September 9, 2008 at 11:08 pm

    Just sent this beautiful post to that media contact.

    I WAS booking a business trip to Vancouver on WestJet tomorrow. Now I believe I shall hold off until I see what the response is…

    whensheworeponytails September 9, 2008 at 11:10 pm

    Okay…Information I got when I called was if you want to submit over the web you can go to their website and then go to “Contact Us” and select E-mail us your feedback.

    OR if you’d prefer to send letters send them to..

    WestJet Airlines Ltd.
    5055 11th St. NE
    Calgary,
    Alberta T2E 8N4,
    Canada
    Attention: guest
    services manager

    Their fax is 403-444-2301 and there is someone manning the phones at 888-293-7853.

    I called already. Am typing letter to send and submitting one over their form. May be over kill but I’m hoping it makes a point.

    And then when I’m done pointing I’m going to bed. LOL

    Good night, C. I hope you’re able to rest some after all you’ve been through these last few weeks.

    blissfullycaffeinated September 9, 2008 at 11:11 pm

    That just makes me furious. And that’s all I can really say about it. These types of incidents make me really, really mad.

    Please, please do not beat yourself up over this. I imagine it takes a lot of gumption to argue with someone whilst expending your energy in the nurturing of human life. You are going through an incredibly difficult time right now and I can’t imagine that you would have enough reserve left in the tank to take on an incredibly insensitive flight attendant.

    I’m so sorry this happened to you and will definitely send an email to the airline.

    Mommy Melee September 9, 2008 at 11:11 pm

    This just makes me feel ill. I’m so sorry you had to go through that.

    The other day at work my female boss and coworker told me how uncomfortable it made them and how “just wrong” it was for women to nurse in public.

    Here I am, nearing eight months pregnant. I’ve made it clear that I nursed my son. I wanted to start advocating, but all I could manage was a nervous laugh as I told them that I nurse anywhere I want. To which they responded with shocked and uncomfortable expressions.

    Even without a babe at my breast I felt vulnerable and defensive.

    It’s a crazy thing. And it’s not right.

    delaneydiariesmama September 9, 2008 at 11:23 pm

    Add me to the list of those who are outraged for you.

    Just today I wanted to nurse my sobbing, separation-anxiety-ridden son in our gym’s daycare after they paged me to come get him when he wouldn’t settle down. I asked for a spot to nurse him but all the caregivers could tell me was that there wasn’t an “appropriate” place for that because there were (gasp!) older children and it wouldn’t be OK for them to see me like that.

    I wanted to shout, “Why not? So they can’t, won’t, ever become accustomed to seeing it? Because God forbid children should think that breasts have a purpose, that they were once fed by their own mothers. Don’t you think that if more children were exposed to nursing mothers instead of shielded from them, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now???” But instead, I took my sobbing child and walked out of there. I, too, wish I had stood up and shouted that. But my main concern was making my son feel better so I got the hell out of there.

    In this day and age when we feel so evolved, it is painfully obvious that we so are not.

    Amanda September 9, 2008 at 11:26 pm

    You. I have traveled across the country, though there was no where near the duress of your flight, I clung to my Fin, deriving the strength I needed to survive the flight from her nursing. My head stayed bowed and we bore no skin, yet I am sure that had I been addressed as you were I would have reacted the same. She may not have meant harm, but she pushed too hard. Too long. I hope you found some modicum of solace in the good you were doing for him and for you.

    I’m running with Dana’s idea on the f*ck the blanket tee.

    HeatherY September 9, 2008 at 11:30 pm

    I know that there are people who may be uncomfortable with people who nurse in public. It’s like they don’t even realize that you are actually feeding a child. Bless your heart.

    Satsuki Rebel September 9, 2008 at 11:48 pm

    Perhaps instead of bashing the uncomfortable people we should try and find a happy medium. Maybe cuz like it not- a boob is a boob, regardless of if the tit is exposed AND yes, breasts are BOTH sexual & natural objects. Sorry to be harsh. As I posted just a bit ago I'm sorry this happened to you (so this post isn't exactly about you right now- you deserve compassion more now than ever) but I think all of this outrage over "uncomfortable people" is pretty closed-minded as well. Speaking as an uncomfortable person the stereotype peeves me off a bit.

    Rachael September 10, 2008 at 12:55 am

    That sucks. It can be so hard to think you will do something and realize how vulnerable you are at that moment. If you’re feeling sad, airplanes can be incredibly sad places – they can signify leaving things behind that you’ll really miss. (Hugs)

    Red Cup Mom September 10, 2008 at 1:55 am

    It is awful when it happens. The glares, the blankets or whatever. I am glad you posted about it and refused the blanket. Your baby deserves you to stand up for the right for all nursing Moms.

    Kat September 10, 2008 at 2:20 am

    Jesus. Sorry. Really, really sorry. If I’d been sitting near you, I would have told that flight attendant to leave you the hell alone. I love seeing women nursing in public, uncovered, and unconcerned. There’s just something right about it. Personally, I think the uncomfortable people need to realize its just their problem, not yours, and avert their eyes.

    Louisa September 10, 2008 at 3:15 am

    Wow! i can't believe that happened. it is outrageous and I am really glad that you've got people speaking up for you on this. when you've got some energy back then i would encourage you to say something too. it's completely inappropriate & not at all standard. i have flown a lot with my bubs, breastfed most times and have had nothing but help and encouragement from the airline staff. I am so sorry you had to experience this crap when you have so much else going on! Gosh, could they have been even slightly empathetic!!

    dani September 10, 2008 at 4:15 am

    Complaint to WestJet sent.

    I have zero tolerance for people being outraged by a child being fed. We Australians, by and large are more liberal bout such matters. In fact, the only times I have been really harassed about b/feeding my children has been in the USA and Ive been b/feeding for 5 years next month.

    IMO older children need to see it. It’s natural. Perhaps if it was more visible in society, people would have less trouble establishing b/feeding in the first place.

    I’m a pretty tolerant sort of gal but it offends me to the core of my being when I hear insinuations that b/feeding is somehow indecent or responsible for making others uncomfortable.

    Millicent September 10, 2008 at 6:29 am

    Add another outraged Aussie here! I have already sent my email to West Jet! Lets hope they get the message.

    Elisa September 10, 2008 at 7:16 am

    I really don’t understand this fixation people have here, about covering up or not breastfeeding in public at all. Even Swiss people, who are pretty damn conservative, don’t blink an eye when moms nurse in public. I just don’t get it.

    Brandy September 10, 2008 at 8:08 am

    When I was a rookie breastfeeder I was covered in blankets, shields, tucked away in a corner if forced to feed in public, now that I have earned my wings I will do it anywhere with or without coverage.

    I would be very irritated if told to cover up, what is this? the dark ages? No. wait, if it was there wouldn’t be an issue…

    WestJet will get a piece of my mind.

    nomotherearth September 10, 2008 at 8:33 am

    I’m with MamaTulip – send a link to this to WestJet. No doubt they will see the error of their ways in your eloquence. xoA

    egm September 10, 2008 at 9:00 am

    I can remember going into a back bedroom to nurse my daughter so that my father-in-law wouldn't be uncomfortable at a family Christmas gathering. As a new stay-at-home mom, I was already feeling isolated enough, but instead of enjoying the holiday, I went into exile for 30-45 minutes out of every couple of hours. Not good for the psyche, but I was too polite/chicken shit to do anything else.

    Fast forward 7 years to my son's birthday party, when my sister-in-law nursed her daughter at the table as we sang happy birthday. She and I have hardly anything in common, but at that particular moment, I felt such a rush of affection and admiration for her. If I ever have more children, the first things I will buy will be that F*&k the Blanket t-shirt (seriously, someone make one!) and a Mutha Sucka onesie.

    It might be painfully slow, but things are changing. Your simple, dignified refusal to use the blanket was perfect. No need to apologize for that.

    Here's hoping West Jet gets the message, and you start feeling stronger again soon.

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