Hold The Mustard

October 20, 2008

I don’t know at what point I realized that I was doomed to one of the worst public humiliations of my parenting experience, but it might have been when the elderly lady walked in on Jasper and I in the ladies’ restroom at our local Kelsey’s restaurant and noticed a) his nakedness, b) the slick of mustard poo coating that nakedness, c) the slick of mustard poo coating me, and d) the slick of mustard poo coating every visible surface in the room, and then, without a word, turned on her heel and walked back out again.

We hadn’t planned to go out to dinner Saturday night. But we’d ended up driving out to the countryside to visit friends and hadn’t planned for dinner and so had hatched the ill-conceived plan to just stop on the way home so that Emilia might fall asleep in the car afterwards. It occurred to me at some point that our car-stash of diapers and pull-up pants and wipes was low, but I reasoned that Emilia would use the toilet at the restaurant – she’s been using the toilet fairly reliably – and that we could make it through the evening with just a spare pull-up and no wipes. I forgot that we also had a baby, and that at five months old, he’s unable to use the toilet and, you know, control his bowel movements.

We’d been at the restaurant for about twenty minutes when Jasper started to fuss.

“He probably needs a change,” I said. I did a mental calculation of baby supplies on hand. Zero. “You’re going to have to go out to the car,” I told my husband. “There should be a diaper in the backseat.” I figured that I might have a wipe or two in a crumpled-up travel pack of no-name wipes in my bag. I didn’t bother to check.

So it was that five minutes later I was in the ladies’ restroom with a baby in need of a change and only one diaper, no change of clothes, and one or two dessicated wipes. Which wouldn’t have been a problem, necessarily, if said baby wasn’t loaded from stem to stern with – how to put this? – a shitload of effluent that had just begun leaking through his clothes.

Leaking through his clothes and onto mine.

Leaking through his clothes and onto my clothes and onto the floor.

Leaking through his clothes and onto my clothes and onto the floor and onto my feet.

Mustard poo, as any new parent knows, does not, strictly speaking, smell like poo. It has a sort of cloying, sweet organic smell, like the smell of dead roses, or of rotting fruit, or wet hay, with a bit of a sharp, mustardy edge to it. I had a lot of time to think about this as I wrestled my fat, naked, poo-slicked baby in the ladies’ restroom of the Bowmanville Kelsey’s. I had a lot of time to think about this, because it is very, very difficult to clean a poo-slicked baby in a public restroom with only one wipe. Actually, it is very nearly impossible to clean a poo-slicked baby in a public restroom with only one wipe. Which is why I spent close to half an hour just standing around in my poo-stained shirt, holding the naked poo-slicked baby and a clutch of paper towels and wondering what the f*** I was supposed to do, during which time the elderly woman wandered into the restroom, correctly assessed the situation as off-putting to one’s dinner, and exited immediately.

I needed to act. I knew that if I took much longer, one of a number of things was going to happen: 1) someone else would come in wanting to use the restroom, which by this point looked like the set of one of those alien movies where aliens get slaughtered and splatter gummy yellow effluent over every surface, 2) my husband would send the server – who was maybe twenty-years old and prone to responding to every request with a giggle and ‘okay, awesome!’ – in to find me, which would contribute nothing but nervous tittering and an added element of spectacle to the scene, 3) Jasper would release another blast of poo and I would burst into tears, or 4) all of the above.

So, gripping Jasper under one arm, I filled the sink with soap and water, dipped him butt-first into the bubbles and scrubbed at him with paper towels. Then I threw paper towels over the change table, three or four layers thick, for later wiping, and shoved some more paper towels against my poo-smeared chest so that Jasper wouldn’t get re-smeared when I held him against me. Then – still one-arming it – I pulled the clean diaper onto him, and his wee cardigan, which had mercifully escaped being shat upon. I contemplated tossing his clothes into the wastebasket, but decided that that would just prolong the smell, and so I wrapped them in more paper towels and then – holding Jasper an inch from my damp, decoupaged chest and summoning every ounce of dignity I could muster – marched back through the restaurant to my husband.

“Take him,” I said, “and get the waitress to bring a plastic bag for this.” I dumped the paper-towel wrapped package of poo-soaked clothing on my chair, grabbed my own cardigan, and walked back the restroom, where I stripped off my reeking, soaking shirt and shoved in the wastebasket. Then, clad only in my bra, I scrubbed myself down – myself and all the other surfaces slicked with poo – before zipping my cardigan over my more-or-less naked but also more-or-less shit-free chest and heading back out into the restaurant and to my family: Jasper now clean and settled back in his carseat, my husband holding out a large glass of red wine for me, and my daughter grinning madly over a plate of mini-hamburgers.

And clutching a big squeeze-bottle of mustard.

If we never go out for dinner again it will be too soon.

If you have a worse poo story, I’d like to hear it. Also, I’d like to know if I’m the only parent who regularly finds herself short of supplies at critical moments, because a former grad-school colleague just messaged me saying ‘good story, but when I’m a parent I’m going to keep a package of diapers in the car’ and I was all, like, ‘ha ha good luck with that’ until I realized that maybe my particular form of slacker parenting is not the norm and that, perhaps, I should be deeply embarrassed about my general ineptitude. Yes/no?

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    Mimi October 20, 2008 at 1:43 pm

    Oh, sweet Jesus. We had one of those, when we went for the meeting to get Munchkin baptized: we call it the Catholic Church Poop and it lives on in legend. There was actually a pool of it inside her carset. Volume, colour, spread, minimal supplies, public place. Dude, I feel for you. Also? LMAO :-)

    Her Bad Mother October 20, 2008 at 1:45 pm

    Mimi – we’re calling it Poopocalypse Now. World War Poo. End Of Poos.

    Melanie October 20, 2008 at 1:53 pm

    Oooooh, I have been there. At a sushi restaurant in Tucson. With yeasty antibiotic poo and a 14-month old. Did it teach me to always keep the diaper bag fully loaded? No. But did it teach me to take the “who’s baking bread?” smell seriously while baby’s on a course of abx? Indeed.

    I laugh because I identify. Boy, do I identify.

    motherbumper October 20, 2008 at 1:59 pm

    And a similar incident in Gigi’s infant days turned me off mustard. Especially the grainy grey poupon, a detail not necessary to this comment but if we are going to compare poop to food…

    Let me tell you, becoming a hermit family isn’t all bad.

    Ms. Moon October 20, 2008 at 2:05 pm

    Ah yes. The days of endless rivers of baby poo. I well remember. The time the baby EXPLODED while I was trying to pay for my groceries comes to mind immediately.
    And then there are the vomit stories…best left for another day?
    Mothers should all be awarded the purple heart. Or iron cross. Or Pulitzer Prize.
    Or something.

    KD @ A Bit Squirrelly October 20, 2008 at 2:06 pm

    I am sorry…poopocalpyse at it’s worst. I would have thrown it all away….

    Her Bad Mother October 20, 2008 at 2:08 pm

    KD – the decision about whether or not to throw it all away took an eternity to make. On the hand, ew. On the other, the restroom already stank to high heaven and I didn’t want to make it worse by dumping poo-soaked cottons into the wastebasket. So it got bagged and toted home ot our own garbage.


    Super Ninja Momma October 20, 2008 at 2:08 pm

    Oh man. At least it was BF baby poo. Imagine if it was reeking FF baby poo, or the vomit-inducing poo of a baby on solids. Ugh.

    I can’t tell you how many babies I have bathed in restaurant sinks, with crappy restaurant hand soap. Okay, I can: four, but I can’t tell you how many times.

    Chrissy October 20, 2008 at 2:10 pm

    Oh wow. That sounds traumatizing! Good quick thinking though – sounds like you were able to handle it as well as you could! Hope you’re able to go back to a restaurant sometime in the future. :-)

    Atlanta Mommy October 20, 2008 at 2:11 pm

    Just even thinking that you’ll only be out for a while, you don’t need extra supplies is just begging for the universe to mess with you!

    Our first experience was in Home Depot. I left a trail of baby poop throughout the entire store. Hansel and Gretel have nothing on us. But did we learn our lesson? Nope. Our second experience was when I had to go to my 30 week OB appt with my potty training 2 year old. (Why didn’t I bring an extra outfit???) She peed buckets. All over the floor of the exam room. My blood pressure was so high that I was instructed to start bed rest then and there.

    I feel for you! So glad your husband knew enough to have some liquor waiting!

    fidget October 20, 2008 at 2:11 pm

    oh dear.. just oh dear. this happened to me in Sears with Levi. I washed him in the sink and used the hand dryer to blow dry his butt

    Anonymous October 20, 2008 at 2:11 pm

    oh, hun, as a 40 year old mom to three stinky, yellow poopers, i am sorry for ya… when the child is in their 20′s…like mine are now… you WILL sit back and laugh about this… i do now…

    fidget October 20, 2008 at 2:13 pm

    oh and I just threw Levi’s swim trunks out because he EXPLODED after exiting the disney port orleans hotel pool. Exploded might be too much of an understatement… it was bad. He’s nearly 2 mind you.

    Assertagirl October 20, 2008 at 2:14 pm

    I totally picture this happening at BP, but since I was there on Saturday night, I’m guessing it was another place. HBF sure knew how to manage, didn’t he?

    O'Neal (The woman in charge around here) October 20, 2008 at 2:14 pm

    OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!! I was cringing and feeling horrible for you because I know EXACTLY how that is as I have been there so many times myself. All I can say is take out until they are 12 is a great resort!

    Amelia Sprout October 20, 2008 at 2:16 pm

    We had a similar incident involving our first real pediatrician visit and some serious spitup. I never forgot the diaper bag when going to the Dr. again. And I agree with super ninja mommy, I would so rather have breastmilk poops than this half chewn rotten green beans of the full solid eater I have. I have never wanted to potty train early so badly.

    Her Bad Mother October 20, 2008 at 2:43 pm

    Amy – we tried to go to BP, but there was an interminable wait, so we went across the street to Kelsey’s. Consider it your good fortune.

    zchamu October 20, 2008 at 2:50 pm

    Oh. Oh my.

    Kate October 20, 2008 at 2:57 pm

    thank goodness your husband was smart enough to have that glass of wine waiting for you!

    daysgoby October 20, 2008 at 2:57 pm

    Holy fishsticks, Batman!

    Mama Smurf October 20, 2008 at 2:59 pm

    I’m sorry but I’m laughing too darn hard to even come up with a witty comment…

    Laughing with(?) you of course…

    And there’s just a smidge of “mwahahaha” in there of relief that those days are over for me.

    Leanne October 20, 2008 at 2:59 pm

    Well at least the man had enough sense to be handing you some wine as you sat down. I hope you had a second glass!

    Sarah October 20, 2008 at 3:02 pm

    Oh WOW!!! I feel for you & can absolutely relate. I was just recently on a road trip with my 4 month old son and tried to change his poopy diaper on the front seat of the mini … yeah, it was totally awesome when he pooped all over my hand! The thing that makes me laugh is imagining my husband in that scenario (or your poopscapade in the restaurant), he's a champ and all but still …

    Thanks for sharing.

    Ps. I'm totally stealing "poopocalypse now" … zomg awesome!

    kaila October 20, 2008 at 3:02 pm

    I think most mothers can relate to your story of poopacalypse, but not everyone can paint it as beautifully and perfectly as you have.

    Pamela October 20, 2008 at 3:02 pm

    Your husband must be a pretty brilliant man.

    I was just sitting down to a bowl of Acorn Squash Soup…and now I think I’m going to skip that.

    LawMommy October 20, 2008 at 3:27 pm

    Oh. Wow. I am impressed that you didn’t burst into tears in the bathroom. I had a similar experience in a Bob Evan’s outside of Indianapolis, although I was ALREADY in tears, and was interrupted by three grandmothers, who came in, assessed, left, and returned with a pack of wet ones that one of them had in their car. To this day I think of them as the three fairy godmother’s in Disney’s Sleeping Beauty.

    I do have a poop story – it’s posted here: http://adventuresoflawmommy.blogspot.com/2007/07/poopa-story-warningdo-not-read-if-you.html

    Your husband is a brilliant man for getting that glass of wine.

    KayleighJeanne October 20, 2008 at 3:32 pm

    Don’t worry, I have yet to meet an actual real live person who keeps more than one or two diapers in their car and diaper bag combined. And wipes? Pfft, like I can even find them at home.

    Anonymous October 20, 2008 at 3:40 pm

    Shit happens but kudos to hubby for having a glass of wine ready for you …. now *that’s* a good man.

    bessie.viola October 20, 2008 at 3:42 pm

    SO FUNNY. I laugh because I have been there… I have also been the momma of the baby positively FOUNTAINING spitup. In church. All over her Easter dress. 3 weeks postpartum, when the whole congregation was checking out my first-timer skills. Fun times!

    As the result of that experience, I am now the freak who keeps a full box of wipes and a few stray diapers in the car. (Granted, they might not be the right SIZE at any given point, yet – diapers!)

    Laura October 20, 2008 at 3:43 pm

    I have wiped my toddlers ass with my own shirt, and then thrown it away, at the Disneyland hotel. I have had the older kids run back and forth, wetting paper towels in the Barns and Noble bathroom. I have put a princess pull up on my 4 WEEK OLD BOY. So, no. I carry nothing I need.

    How about the time I was nursing a 2 week old, as my son did his naked “I am holding in my shit dance because that little potty in the corner of the living room is too scary to sit on, and I would feel way more comfortable shitting right here, on the floor, while you nurse, and have your hands tied”. And so he began to shit…and while continuing to nurse, I got up and pulled him to his potty, slipping in his shit, FALLING in his shit, STILL NURSING, sliding his shitty body onto the potty,now covered in his shit, and proceeded to say, while STILL NURSING AND COVERED IN SHIT, “Great job, honey! You pooped in the potty!”

    I also liked the time my son couldn’t make it to the bathroom at a Christmas party at my friends house, and he pooped a nice round poop, that fell through his pants legs, and landed in the hallway. We tried to grab a towel and pick it up before it was noticed, only another guest walked down the hall and STEPPED IN IT. We said NOTHING,and heard the man later saying, “Wow. Smells like someone here needs a diaper change!”

    Her Bad Mother October 20, 2008 at 3:48 pm

    Oh, god, Laura – that confronting shit while nursing infant thing? EXACT same thing happened here. I was so traumatized that I couldn’t even write about it.

    Also, I once put a toddler swim-pant pull up on Jasper. He was six weeks old.

    geeklady October 20, 2008 at 3:52 pm


    My son has shot poop 3 feet out of his butt and across the bathroom. Twice. On my birthday. (I had to clean the OUTSIDE of the diaper pail, twice, which is just wrong.) He has pooped out of his clothes in the middle of Mass, in the Rio Grande valley where the church had no discernable bathroom.

    But never anything like that.

    Lemme know if you want one of these (http://www.flickr.com/photos/geeklady/2907321585/in/photostream/). I have another chunk of fleece left that I don’t know what to do with.

    Diane October 20, 2008 at 3:59 pm

    No, you are not the only parent who goes out without supplies. I never have diapers or wipes or extra clothes with me. Who the hell has that much space to carry all that stuff around? I actually have two terrible poo stories. One was when my daughter shit all over the shopping cart at babies r us. Fortunately we were at the baby mecca and simply bought her new clothes to wear. The next was when my husband was changing my son at my mother’s house and in mid change a projectile poops and it lands on my parent’s couch. I’m serious, it shot across the room. I’ve never seen anything like that, and I’ve seen a lot of poop. Nothing quite like a shit stained sofa. My parents were calm about it and had the sofa cleaned, but it was very embarrassing.

    Vicki October 20, 2008 at 4:03 pm

    OMG!! I can top that. Imagine if you will, twins…sick…with the runs…and vomiting…while on a 6-hour car trip. I had to take the covers off both car seats and put blankets in place of them. Had to change baby clothes 4 times on each child. I had to clean the back of the car seats (still backward facing babies). I had to clean barf out of my hair. I had to change my clothes in a public restroom at a truck stop (just imagine the looks I was getting coming in covered in baby formula barf and poo stains on my pants). I ended up paying to have my entire car professionally cleaned after reaching our destination because the car was not drivable for days from the smell. Horrible experience. I cried for about 5 out of the 6 hours…so did the boys. Thank God my mom was traveling with me instead of my hubby because he turns green at the smell of formula vomit…

    albe October 20, 2008 at 4:15 pm

    I have one poop story that embarrassed me because it displayed my total ineptitude for my entire family.

    I have twins and we were traveling with them when they were 7 months old. We took a little side trip to my dad’s lake cabin in the middle of nowhere for a couple of days. Just as we were getting ready to leave we went to change their diapers and I saw that both babies had had an explosive poop that got over everything, their legs, their clothes, my clothes, etc.

    I wiped them up and reached for new diapers and…no more diapers. I couldn’t find any more diapers in our suitcase, in the car, in the diaper bag, we were clean out! In my defense we use cloth so we had only bought disposables for the trip and I obviously had no clue how many diapers twins go through.

    So we had two naked babies and no diapers and a 2-hour drive to get back to civilization (so no stores nearby), and my dad and stepmom and sisters are looking at me like I’m an idiot for not having enough diapers. We ended up fastening burp cloths together with safety pins as a makeshift diaper and digging out their recent wet (but not poopy) disposable diapers as makeshift wraps. Gross, and boy did I feel like a complete moron!

    daniloth (Dawn) October 20, 2008 at 4:15 pm

    I have not yet experience poopocalypse, but with a 4 month old girl, I face with stoicism the day.

    However, I must share my cousin’s story, called, “The First Poo of the Rest of Your Life.”

    Act I, in which our hero has not pooped for a couple of days, and HeroDad and HeroMom are scheduled to attend HeroCousin’s graduation dinner.
    Act II, in which said dinner, resplendant with poofy, sparkly gown, ill fitting tuxedos, and various extended family members, takes place in small town gymnasium. Midway through dinner, annoyed with HeroDad’s sloppy eating habits, HeroMom comments on the gravy(!) he has spilled on the table. HeroDad retorts that there is no gravy involved in this ham dinner, and horrified realizations dawn on all.
    Act III, in which our hero is carried, at arms length and dripping poo, down the miniscule aisle between tables, whilst HeroMom calls out, “You need to move unless you want babyshit on you.” Our hero is then stripped and bathed in the lockerroom sink.

    Really, I can’t wait for the day…

    Her Bad Mother October 20, 2008 at 4:18 pm

    GeekLady – that is AWESOME. Yes, WANT.

    (wherever did you find that fabric?)

    Emily October 20, 2008 at 4:19 pm

    It’s not perhaps as publicly embarrassing as your poop incident, but Allena has a pretty darned funny how-to posted from a while back on her blog:

    becky w. October 20, 2008 at 4:26 pm

    I don’t have any baby poop stories, just toddler in various stages of potty training. Once we were at the park. I was swinging my infant daugter and my 2 1/2 yr old son, who wasn’t yet totally trained and at least once a day had a BM in his pants, and whom I hadn’t made use the toilet before we left the house to go to the park, was across the playground on top of the climby thingy with some other kids and lots of moms looking on. All of a sudden I hear, “MOMMY I JUST POOPED IN MY PANTS!” And then a million moms ran to grasp their children away from the evil clutches of my son’s poop germs all over the play equipment. So we went to the car and needless to say I had no backup, and there was poop down to his socks. I stripped him and thankfully found a towel to wipe him down with and sit on for the short ride home. His pants, underwear and socks were left under the car because I couldn’t find a trash can. Or anything else in the car to wrap them up in. I know, ewwww. I haven’t shown my face at that playground ever since!

    Mind of MadMan October 20, 2008 at 4:33 pm

    My daugther and I back in early 80′s so none of the friendly bathrooms of today, as i was holding her she cut loose one of the loudest farts know to Men in good standing in farthood. I felt the duriable diaper give on the sides as I realized that it was a loose on. It was not summer and we where in a bookstore. First everyone looked at me with “the look” and of course i said “that wasn’t me. it was her!!” Too late the words had already came out and the glares of “satisfaction” feeled the room. “asshole.. blaming his kid.” Some on muttered as I now felt the warmth of stench of a fresh baby poo coming into my hand, past her one piece and down my shirt. Ohh did I mention this was picture day?? I stopped in teh bookstore/section to read while waiting for “our turn.” It never came. i took the long strool through the mall smelling like a mix of processed breast milk. I never ever left home again without 2 changes of clothes for both of us and Many, many diapers in a nice backpack. This kid #1 almost ruined it for the next eight.

    Awesome Mom October 20, 2008 at 4:34 pm

    That is quite the poop story!

    I have gotten quite lazy about keeping the diapers current that are stashed in my minivan. I realized this when I went to drop the kids off at a babysitter so that I could have a doctor’s appointment with out the kids. I had forgotten to grab the diaper bag on the way out and handed the babysitter two diapers that were a size too small and no wipes. Luckily Harry did not need to be changed so we were golden. I made sure to update the car diapers a few days later.

    Elizabeth October 20, 2008 at 4:45 pm

    I’ve had to use the thinnest, scratchiest bathroom toilet paper, the kind that isn’t even one-ply, it’s like half-ply, to clean up my poopy sons in restaurant bathrooms. You’re lucky the restaurant had a sink you could fill up-most of them these days have those automatic faucets that won’t turn on unless you wave your hands frantically underneath for a good ten seconds.

    And I once left a poop-soaked onesie and a pair of pants wrapped in paper towels and stuffed into the trashcan at the Mall bathroom, and wheeled my son, in just a diaper, in his paper-towel lined stroller down to the Children’s Place to buy him a new outfit. It was that bad of a blow-out. Good times.

    lizneust October 20, 2008 at 4:49 pm

    Okay, I just commented on the names post, but I guess I’m leaving two in one day.

    We were on an airplane – 4 hour trip – and I was in the middle of nursing her. I’ve been given an aisle seat, which was fine, but I’m a cover-up while nursing type, which made the whole thing a bit tricky. Then the rumble started. She was 3 months and had been constipated for days. The stench was incredible and the rumbling just continued on and on. Soon I felt the wet coming through on my hand.

    Fortunately, my husband was across the aisle, so I made him my operating room nurse. He had wipes, diapers and a huge plastic bag at the ready. He also put a receiving blanket under my feet. Once I was convinced I could pull her off boob without squalling, I readjusted myself and began stripping as fast as I could. He held the plastic bag across the aisle – people in 3 rows either direction were starting to cough. Once stripped, I began wiping her down. I think at one point I actually had her clutched between my knees because I needed both hands to wipe and strip. I then re diapered her on my lap, redressed her, and handed her off to my husband and FLED for the restroom in the back.

    When I got back to my seat, my husband said the lady in the row behind him commented that I deserved a medal or a black belt or something for that performance. I *wanted* a scotch.

    We’ve all been there – sounds like you handled it really well.

    Momily October 20, 2008 at 4:50 pm

    i keep a supply of wipes and diapers in each car after a very shitty experience, but they’re only handy if you are close enough to the car to access them AND smart enought to remember to restock the vehicles with both wipes and the right size diapers! So “good luck with that” is right.

    I had a very similar poo experience to yours in an Indian restuarant. I knew my son had badly soiled himself but did not realize the full extent until AFTER i began changing him in the washroom. My realization occured when i noticed that someone had spilled butter chicken sauce all over the bathroom floor . . . then realized it was actually the overflow from my son’s diaper!!! We had literally left a trail behind us a la Hansel and Gretel and there was no way to tackle it in the restuarant proper as the floor was covered in wall to wall persian carpet!!

    Goldfish October 20, 2008 at 4:55 pm

    I don’t know if it’s worse… but about six months ago my 4-month old had a giant mustardy blowout in the checkout line at the local WalMart. So I left a cartload of purchased merchandise outside the bathroom and took the babe and my three-year old into the bathroom. I ended up with poop all over me, had NO butt-wipes (yeah, it happens to me too), and as I stood there with a naked slimy poopy baby and no real plan, the three-year old made a break for it and took off into the wilds of WalMart. Naked poopy baby and I went to fetch him, left my diaper bag in the bathroom, found the preschooler, hauled him back to the bathroom (so now he’s poop-smeared, too), finished the best I could with paper towels and a clean diaper, and somehow got everything to the car. Where I found that, when I left the diaper bag in the bathroom, my cell phone had been stolen. Idiot left my wallet, though. I was pretty sure I was the worst mother in the world that day.

    Her Bad Mother October 20, 2008 at 4:57 pm

    Goldfish: that? is most def worse.

    The 3 year old escapes washroom while you’re poo wrangling? I gasped out loud reading that.

    Anonymous October 20, 2008 at 5:04 pm

    I remember one blowout my daughter had was so bad, I just threw the clothes away in the restroom. Thankfully we had a change of clothing with us. And yes, I agree with your friend, I always keep a few diapers and a change of clothes in the car for the kids – except that sometimes you use that stuff up and you don’t remember to replace it that very minute and you know the day the supplies are gone is the day it’ll all fall apart on you!!!!lol


    Mary G October 20, 2008 at 5:12 pm

    Laughing with you — and the projectile poop stories too. Don’t have one that beats hitting the couch, though.
    Wonderful! Only on badladies do you find forty five funny poop comments. I do love you.

    kittenpie October 20, 2008 at 5:16 pm

    I tend to be overprepared by nature, but there have been those times when it turned out that the wipes had dried out (can be reanimated with water, bo big thang), that the diapers were a bit small (but close enough), or that the clothes had been grown out of (we’ve made do with some odd outfits or partial outfits…). This, though… you poor dear. You really earned that wine. Smart HBF.

    The Bun has, so far, managed to pee right in Mist4erpie’s face and once hose down the nursing station thoroughly at the doctor’s, and has shot poo some distance, but I am waiting for the true nightmare still. I’ll let you know when it happens!

    geeklady October 20, 2008 at 5:28 pm

    Nuts, I bought that fabric almost ten years ago (ouch, feel old now) because it was awesome, and made a laundry bag out of it when I couldn’t figure out what to do with it. I never used that, so I cut it up and used half to make the changing pad and half to make a mei tai.

    I’ll find some other suitably awesome fabric for you. I should make a second one and take photos for an Instructables anyway.

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