Comments on: Mom At Work

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 16:19:00 +0000

I do hope that loving them and trying to do best by them is good enough. Because hot damn, there are days I am tempted, OK, more than tempted to stick a sign on them that says, “Free to a good home” and leave them on the porch. Days when the morning starts with whining, bickering, defiance, that leads to failed meals, naps, errands to run. Then there are days when someone, babysitter/husband/friend/neighbor/nap occupies one child and you have the other and you read books and you chat and you don’t need to break up a million fights over crap by 10 am and you realize that these little talking people belong to you, and your heart fills your chest cavity and you tuck away your “free to a good home ” sign.

By: courtney

courtney — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 20:04:00 +0000

I think that love and the basics are enough. Make sure they’re clean and fed and loved and you’re good. It sounds like you’re doing it just fine, sick and all. Hang in there. I hope you feel better soon!

By: R

Fri, 31 Oct 2008 18:37:00 +0000

as I'm not quite a mom yet, I can't actually answer the question… but in my head I'm thinking that just loving your children is enough… because other than food & shelter – what else do they NEED other than love?

That's just what I think though…

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 18:15:00 +0000

Love your blog. The constant bottle washing gets on my nerves since I had to quit breastfeeding. It’s the main constant. I get up– bottles to wash— every meal– bottles to wash— before bed— bottles to wash. Yeah and the poo is getting a little out of hand here too. Love the boy but it is hard. Have also been quite sick recently and as a single mom, it can be pretty rough.

Hang in there!
Sarah

By: wyliekat

wyliekat — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 13:32:00 +0000

You cannot possibly love it all. Or most of us can’t. Me, I don’t love all of it – the endless rounds of simple play, the never-having-a-moment-to-myself.

But I love them. With all my heart and soul. So it works out, in the end.

By: Amanda

Amanda — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 13:22:00 +0000

I said on another blog in reference to something the author had done and was now questioning, it isn't always the act, I choose to place far more weight in the spirit or sentiment behind the act.

Of course we have bad days, or prefer one thing over another, we don't have to love all of it, but I think the asking of the question points to a very deep affinity for the role, no?

And, I do not think it is ever easy to lock the door on the more children piece.

By: Mom101

Mom101 — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 03:59:00 +0000

It’s so funny I’ve heard the very same question you pose at the end here asked of “regular” jobs too. I think we all grapple with degrees of passion and even like for our day to day responsibilities, even as we love the greater picture. Give yourself a break.

By: Her Bad Mother

Her Bad Mother — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 03:45:00 +0000

Rebecca – I know a little bit about the harder stuff, having a nephew with a terminal illness, and I do know that it’s all relative… but it’s also all context, you know? In the moment, when my head is pounding and I’m feeling nauseated from sleep deprivation and my child is smearing poo on the bathroom floor, it feels, in that moment, like the worst of all possible worlds. Obviously, I know that it’s not, and obviously, I cherish every minute that I have with my children, but also? Sometimes? Those minutes, especially the shitty ones, can suck a little bit, in a manner that does not detract in any way from the weight of SERIOUS suckage.

But yeah, it’s helpful to keep that in perspective.

By: Her Bad Mother

Her Bad Mother — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 03:41:00 +0000

Renee – I think the thing would be for us to consider some in-home help so that I can pursue my at-home work (writing) with less distraction. Even just a few more hours a week – beyond the time that I steal during naps and after they’re in bed – would probably be an immense help.

By: Renee

Renee — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 03:21:00 +0000

Catherine – Delurking here for a quick comment. I don’t want to start up a whole debate on working at home vs. working outside the home, but have you ever considered getting an outside job, at least when Jasper is a bit older? Honestly, I was having some similar feelings to you, but now that I’m back at work, I am 100 times happier. I have a nanny who takes care of a lot of the motherhood drudgery (though, to be fair, she gets some of the motherhood joy as well) while I get to come home to two kids who leap with joy when they see me walk in the door. I find that I have a lot more patience for the trying times because I’m not always with them.