Comments on: The Future By Thirds

By: Swistle

Swistle — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 00:43:00 +0000

Oh, I know! There’s a HUGE difference between “Do we want more children?” and “Do we want to make ourselves infertile?” I don’t want to be infertile yet.

But in any case, I think it’s really hard to give the issue serious thought when there’s a toddler and a baby in the house. That’s the hardest combination for me. I have a 9-year-old, a 7-year-old, 3.5-year-old twins, and a 1.5-year-old, and THAT is EASIER than when I had a toddler and a baby.

By: Mommy Mo

Mommy Mo — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 02:36:00 +0000

Hi Catherine. I’m a first time visitor to your blog- I love it and have already added it to my blogroll. I am 36 yrs old (will be 37 in May) and I just had my third child in September. My husband had a vasectomy over the holidays.

Some people know definitely that they are DONE, others not so much (like me). In my head, I know we are done and my husband is completely done with the baby phase but my heart, well it probably has enough room for a herd of children. My sanity, however, would not be able to handle any more. That being said, going from 2 to 3 is way easier than from 1 to 2, IMO. My kids are quite young and I am quite old, lol. They are 5, 2.5 and 3 months. I love all of them with my heart and soul but some days, I’m ready to check-out for a few hours.

I say “wait and sit on it” for now. Is there any rush?

I wrote this post in October in regards to this very thing…..
http://lisatexasmommy.blogspot.com/2008/11/sad-moment-of-truth.html

Good luck! Lisa

By: blissfullycaffeinated

blissfullycaffeinated — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 05:32:00 +0000

Wait. Just, wait a while. Give it some time. After our second baby I went through something that is very similar to what you are going through, no sleep, insane crying infant, bad crazies, etc. I said , “No way, never, ever again.” But, after the crazy baby turned two I started to get a deep yearning for another one and I am glad we didn’t make the vasectomy decision during that bad time. We are still waffling, and may still get one, but I’m glad the 3rd baby option is still there for us.

By: noemidonovan

noemidonovan — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 13:49:00 +0000

You’ve already had so many comments that I’m not sure if you’ll read mine, but anyway here goes. I have 3 kids ages 6, 4, and 22 mo. 2nd and 3rd of those three were accidents, mostly happy accidents, however, I will most definitely not allow any further accidents to occur because: 1) my house isn’t big enough for 6 people, 2) I want to give my children “Grade A” mothering rather than “Grade B” mothering as much as I possibly can, 3) there are only 24 hours in each day and there are limits to my capacities in terms of physical and emotional availability towards each of the already-existing members of my family. Plus, who’s to say life wouldn’t throw me a curve ball? What if a 4th child were born with some really terrible illness, or what if some other life circumstance made things incredibly difficult? Like I said, goodwill and motivation only go so far with limited funds, limited hours in the day, etc. In my case, I’ve got to be practical and say, If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Things are good as they are, don’t risk making things more difficult.

By: Amanda

Amanda — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 03:35:00 +0000

Echoing Julie, wait. At least for a bit, it’s a might heavy door and you need to be together as you move it.

By: jb

jb — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 06:20:00 +0000

actually believe it or not the third one was a breeze. really! i am serious. with a 2 and 4 yr old one more didn’t really cause much more work. don’t laugh. cause somehow the 4 yr old sticks with the 2 yr old and by the time the newborn is 2—they are just like a package that entertain each other. and the 4 yr old is quite a fantastic help to you. i say always go for the third if possible but then STOP–so you can get your life back. I have been enjoying your blog and laughing. i am 54 now and although my 3 are in their 30′s –i remember ALL that u are going thru. but NEVER feel guilty–just do the best u can and if u give them lots of hugs and kisses–they will be fine!!!!

By: Steph

Steph — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 17:31:00 +0000

I don’t know. In fact, I’ve been feeling the [hormonal] urge to reproduce again. My husband says his answer is no. But the thought of never having another baby overwhelms me with sadness.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 12:25:00 +0000

I still don’t know. I’m actually going to show this to my sweet husband. You’ve articulated what I’ve been feeling but have been unable to communicate to him.

Thanks.

By: Shannon

Shannon — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 02:41:00 +0000

Well, we’re 41 – and in his case, almost 42 and we’ve still not made it final. My second child was truly a surprise. I had wanted another, but not yet. My husband had planned to stick with one. I, too, am not enamoured of pregnancy and the early days are hell (a good kind of hell, but still), though the memory of how rough has faded. My husband planned for an immediate vasectomy right after the second was born. Right after she was born, he said, “They sure are cute” and couldn’t go through with it. So here we are, old and probably a bit foolish. We don’t really think we want another one, but we aren’t ready to close the door. At least it looks like we’re in good company….

By: karrie

karrie — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 02:11:00 +0000

If you’re not entirely sure, then why make a permanent decision now when there are so many forms of birth control that are nearly foolproof?

My son will be an only for many reasons. I can say this with certainty and have not once wavered. In fact, as he grows older,and hell, as I grow older, my decision feels even more right.

I’ve found a way to be mostly at peace with the work of mothering, but the thought of revisiting those early years–much as I also adore my son–fills me with dread.