I also agree with the idea of not buying cookies for a while.

I've used time outs and smacked hands and spanked butts. But the most effective thing for me has been to remove her from me. "You've lost your turn to be with mommy. It makes me sad when you do this. It hurts my feelings, etc. You can't be with me until you follow the rules." Then I'll make her sit somewhere she can't see me. It kills her. TIme out seemed to not be a big deal to her for quite some time. But losing time with me was key. Turned her behavior around very quickly. Good Luck!

If you say no more cookies, throw them in the trash and don't buy/make more. Show her you are serious. Then catch her doing something good and say "Yay the cookies can home back to the house!"

"Pay attention to what you like, and ignore/discourage the rest."

Mine is only 2.5 but she does all this stuff too. I can't wait till 3.

Let’s face it, it’s a lot easier to parent when you don’t have to convince your child to bathe and go to bed. Trust me. It’s a good thing when the answer to the question “Why do I go to bed at 8:00?” is “Because 8:00 is bed time!”

I have an 11 and 13 year old and your daughter is the perfect age to do 1-2-3 Magic. There is a book and a video–you should check them out.

You might look into it and think “it’s like training a dog.” And it is. But for her own safety’s sake, you must establish a hierarchy. She must understand who is boss.

It’s also a good thing for the sake of your sanity. Who needs to explain that 8:00 is bed time every single night?

The good thing is, that they finally get the idea about rules by the second or third time they get arrested.

favorite toys banished to the penalty box [top of the wardrobe or attic] for various amounts of time depending on infraction, but you have to announce the time up front and follow through;

my sitter used to punish us by having us stand on one foot, no hands with our nose touching the wall – it takes about 2 seconds for an active kid to become compliant – and you can use it anywhere! [bonus!]

we’ve found the counting method effective, too.

Hang in there . . .

1-2-3 Magic is great. Hitting = automatic time out. Consistency is the absolute key (along with non-emotion.) Choice giving between two favorable (to you) options and I agree with Bea re: the environmental solutions.

Often times, too, kids who are able to ‘hold it together’ outside the home or in school do so because there is increased structure in those places…adding some consistent structure, schedule, etc. can also be helpful.

My children only earned swats for very bad behavior and only after at least one warning.

But I will also advise you, that you have to find the right “reward” to remove. No cookies isn’t working…it takes time, but you have to find that item. For my oldest, as a school age child, it was making her go to soccer practice, dressed for school, and watch practice. Just missing practice wasn’t enough…she would have just entertained herself some other way. She was required to participate whenever the coach talked to team, but she was not allowed to actually participate in the running and kicking. And when someone asked why, she had to explain. I’m sure that someone will talk about how we demoralized and embarassed her, but after the third time of her getting into some pretty serious trouble at school, we had to find what worked. TV, Treats, etc didn’t work, but this did.

Good luck. And while it probaby isn’t that comforting, most children do act much worse at home, where they feel more secure. The fact that she is willing to be so willful speaks to how secure she feels in your love.