Comments on: Hello, Princess

By: MG @ MommyGeekology

MG @ MommyGeekology — Tue, 19 May 2009 20:46:00 +0000

My daughter loves, loves, loves the princesses… all her dolls are princesses. Her favorite dresses are princess dresses. She’ll eat her chicken if I tell her it’s princess chicken.

And apparently I’m clueless, or not thinking deeply enough… because these thoughts about the concept of beauty and how the Disney Princesses skew that? Never entered my brain.

It’s too late now to avoid Princesses, of course… but now I’m thinking of how to reinforce natural beauty over all.

By: Katie

Katie — Tue, 19 May 2009 01:59:00 +0000

This is where my granola-eating side kicks in. I think it is incredible how soon children become socialized into gender norms and ideals. I think it’s great to have the talk about how “pretty” can come in many forms, that women can look like and be like many things, and also that there are a lot of other qualities in women that can make them attractive other than just their appearance. BUT…it seems like unless you lock them in the house, there’s no way to avoid the eventual socialization toward princesses=feminine=pretty and everything else is something less.

*sigh*

I’m worried about that part of having children. And it’s not just the little girls. I worry about my boys not being able to cry without feeling ashamed or having some concept that being a man means being muscular/violent/unemotional. I think it’s really hard to make sure your kids have a balance. I don’t have children yet, but just another thing I think a lot about how I’m going to handle when it does happen.

By: Christy

Christy — Mon, 18 May 2009 13:56:00 +0000

I'm new here…I LOVE this post! My youngest daughter always gives me a hard time when I wear make-up now (like an accusation as you said–she doesn't like it) which doesn't happen very often because like you said–15 more minutes of sleep will ALWAYS win!

I wish I could say I felt comfortable enough in my own skin not to care most of the time…but I don't; and I do care (especially when I get to school to pick up my daughter & there's 10 other moms all made up and dressed in actual clothes–not yoga pants & a t-shirt!)

By: mo-wo

mo-wo — Thu, 14 May 2009 05:10:00 +0000

Girls this age are urgent and unsure about the gravitational pull of self-centredness... beauty... vanity.

They are astounded we are not in that boat with them I think. I recognize the incredulity in the eye poking of E.

I have bandied this about a lot. And on that first post I believe Crunchy Carpets' comment really says it all.

When in doubt, I love Shrek.

By: Karen

Karen — Thu, 14 May 2009 03:21:00 +0000

When my oldest daughter was 9 years old, I went to the mall to buy some new clothes for myself, and she was with me. We went to Lane Bryant, where “plus sized” girls go to buy their stuff. I was buying a size 16 for the first time in my life. As I was trying it on, she stood there in the dressing room with me, with little tears dripping down her face.

I asked her what was wrong, and she said “I don’t want a fat mother.” I was shocked that she would say that. So, I said to her, “I am no different than I was when we walked into the store. If I am happy with the way I look, then you shouldn’t be upset about it.” I guess it was the right thing to say, because she never ever said anything like that to me again. She’s 35 now, but I will never forget that day. I am still a big girl. I still feel comfortable with my size.

By: abomo

abomo — Wed, 13 May 2009 12:44:00 +0000

From previous comment – I meant to say (but my clicker is faster than my proofreader) With my kids, we talk about…if they talked about it on their own, that would be awesome and I would not need to parent them!! Ha!

By: abomo

abomo — Wed, 13 May 2009 12:42:00 +0000

I love how you are so open to feedback on how you raise your kids, what you say to them, how you relate with them. Maybe that is your inner beauty shining through without makeup or sparkles.
My kids – one boy, one girl – talk about how everyone is beautiful and everyone is different and how absolutely cool that is. My daughter is by no means a princess, but she will occasionally put on her ball gown and go right outside and jump in the mud. Or wear plaid shorts with sheepskin fuzzy boots. She is already her own woman at eight. And I sigh, thank God and just keep doing what we are doing until it is time to do something else.
Peace to the princess in you – both the one in the sparkles and the one without.

By: Mom101

Mom101 — Wed, 13 May 2009 02:03:00 +0000

Beautifully expressed, Cath. I grapple with this too. It’s hard to say “you’re beautiful the way you are” when they see mommy jabbing her eye with that goopy black wand thing.

I think you just tell her what you’re thinking: There’s a time for princesses, and a time for tree climbers, and a time for truck pushers, and time for crayon artists, and hopefully you’re all of the above.

By: Trista

Trista — Wed, 13 May 2009 00:54:00 +0000

Hear hear, this is brilliant. I have a 9-month old daughter and will undoubtedly be struggling with the ‘princess’ issue in the near future. I both embrace it and refute it(often at the same time) and will have to figure out how to teach her how to be feminine and strong and smart and funny and thrilled with exactly the way she looks (but also encourage hygiene).

By: Parent Club

Parent Club — Tue, 12 May 2009 23:46:00 +0000

I have to admit - I got "dolled up" for a girl's night out on Friday. The kids loved my sparkly necklace. The hubs loved the tightish shirt. They all asked me to stay in rather than go out.

And you know what...it felt good. I felt wanted (by both kids & hubs).

Not that I'm giving up the yogawear anytime soon. but I might "doll up" when they least expect it.