My mom had a letter her mother had given her before she died in a sealed envelope marked for my, aunt, my grandmothers daughter in law. It was to be given to her upon Grannie’s death. My mom knew hurtful things were in that letter as my aunt always treated my grandmother badly. When my grandmother died, my mom opened the letter, read it and promptly shredded it. Because the hurt it would have caused was too great. But she knew and understood more.

These letters are just things. You knew your dad. He will always be the memories you have of him. But if things are causing someone great pain,
I’d be rid of them in an instant.
Bari´s last blog ..Flips, Tees & Me Getting Carried Away

The letters were evidence of the bad man he was going to become, so that decision was fairly easy.

I got hitched up on what to do with his baby teeth and lock of baby hair so carefully preserved by his mother in an envelope. These were from when he was an innocent baby and it crushed me to the core that there was no one on this planet that wanted these things and that I was crumpled on my floor sobbing over these tiny little items in my palm.

I ultimately decided to keep a few things from my father’s boxes that represented the boy he was, before he ever committed horrible acts on those I loved, lik a futuristic drawing of a car and the like.

I’m truly sorry that you’re having to do this thing, but I am also somewhat envious of the obvious love you felt for and shared with your father. It’s never easy filing through the papers of someone’s life.

If you have a minute, I wrote about going through my dad’s boxes here. From one paper sifter to another…

Hang in there, lady…
Jessica´s last blog ..It’s the little things about social media that I love

I ached for him. I still do. It pains me that his father chose to pursue a bright, shiny, new relationship rather than give any effort whatsoever to the family he already had. His father. His role model. His protector.

I am not sure that my wounds from being cheated on will ever completely heal. I am OK with that. I am happier now, my life is fuller and healthier. Yet and still, whenever the curiosity rises about *her*, I remind myself that it was really about *him*, about the husband and father who turned his back on the people who loved him most.

So that is what I offer to you…Your father’s affair was not about the woman in the picture. I understand the curiosity and maybe even the thread of connection to your father, who I am so sorry is no longer walking this planet with you. But really, all that history is just about your dad.

You don’t need a picture to hold on to that connection or pain or heartache or questions or curiosity or love or any of it. If I was your girlfriend, I would tell you to look and then let it go.

It’s your dad you want to hold on to. Not her.
Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass)´s last blog ..Apparently, my son has ice skating moves

Sincerely,
Stephanie