Comments on: It’s My Story And I’ll Cry If I Want To http://herbadmother.com/2009/09/its-my-story-and-ill-cry-if-i-want-to/ Bad Is The New Good Wed, 23 May 2012 17:38:32 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Amy http://herbadmother.com/2009/09/its-my-story-and-ill-cry-if-i-want-to/comment-page-3/#comment-31063 Amy Sun, 18 Oct 2009 04:53:15 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/?p=1015#comment-31063 No one can tell you how to grieve, and for others to try to do so is ignorant, disrespectful, and horribly unsympathetic. Grief is personal and the only time someone should step in is if harm will come from it. To those that criticize you, what gives them the right to? Even if they have lost a child, which is horrible, yes, how can they tell you to 'get over it' because it's not as bad as 'xyz'. Do what you have to do in order to put one foot in front of the other and take it one day at a time. Do what is best for you and your family and know that no one has the right to tell you how to feel or how to live your life. Continue to love your father and cherish his memory, he will never truly be gone if you keep him with you always. No one can tell you how to grieve, and for others to try to do so is ignorant, disrespectful, and horribly unsympathetic. Grief is personal and the only time someone should step in is if harm will come from it. To those that criticize you, what gives them the right to? Even if they have lost a child, which is horrible, yes, how can they tell you to ‘get over it’ because it’s not as bad as ‘xyz’.

Do what you have to do in order to put one foot in front of the other and take it one day at a time. Do what is best for you and your family and know that no one has the right to tell you how to feel or how to live your life. Continue to love your father and cherish his memory, he will never truly be gone if you keep him with you always.

]]> By: Becca http://herbadmother.com/2009/09/its-my-story-and-ill-cry-if-i-want-to/comment-page-3/#comment-30886 Becca Sat, 03 Oct 2009 00:03:42 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/?p=1015#comment-30886 I only recently started reading you before the untimely death of your father. I first would like to say how terribly sorry I am for your loss. My father died after a struggle with cancer 12 years ago. It was sad but with illness you have time to adjust, say your goodbyes and try and make peace with it. 2 years ago my mother was hit by a semi while sitting in a traffic jam. I can honestly tell you there is a huge difference. Embrace your struggles. I am trying to, my faith was never in doubt. It still isn't but I struggle now with organized religion and it's purpose. It seems that my own tragedy has left me groundless, lost and extremely confused. I cling to my role as mother, question my role as wife and mourn the loss of role of daughter. There is nothing to do but try and go on and cope. I would guess the people who tell you to get over it have not experienced a tragedy to the degree of yours. I only recently started reading you before the untimely death of your father. I first would like to say how terribly sorry I am for your loss. My father died after a struggle with cancer 12 years ago. It was sad but with illness you have time to adjust, say your goodbyes and try and make peace with it. 2 years ago my mother was hit by a semi while sitting in a traffic jam. I can honestly tell you there is a huge difference. Embrace your struggles. I am trying to, my faith was never in doubt. It still isn’t but I struggle now with organized religion and it’s purpose. It seems that my own tragedy has left me groundless, lost and extremely confused. I cling to my role as mother, question my role as wife and mourn the loss of role of daughter.

There is nothing to do but try and go on and cope. I would guess the people who tell you to get over it have not experienced a tragedy to the degree of yours.

]]> By: Favorite Friday – Posts I’ve Enjoyed this Week | The Pink Chandelier http://herbadmother.com/2009/09/its-my-story-and-ill-cry-if-i-want-to/comment-page-3/#comment-30873 Favorite Friday – Posts I’ve Enjoyed this Week | The Pink Chandelier Fri, 02 Oct 2009 15:27:21 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/?p=1015#comment-30873 [...] It’s My Story And I’ll Cry if I Want To – I love the way she writes and aspire to one day be as good as she. She’s honest, eloquent and exceptional. [...] [...] It’s My Story And I’ll Cry if I Want To – I love the way she writes and aspire to one day be as good as she. She’s honest, eloquent and exceptional. [...]

]]> By: nikki http://herbadmother.com/2009/09/its-my-story-and-ill-cry-if-i-want-to/comment-page-3/#comment-30824 nikki Thu, 01 Oct 2009 20:07:45 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/?p=1015#comment-30824 I lost my beloved mother 5 months ago. Suddenly. Tragically. The one thing I've learned is that anyone who thinks they have the right to tell you how to grieve or how long to grieve can just shut the fuck up. You need to do what's right for YOU. Sorry, I had to delurk for this. .-= nikki´s last blog ..<a href="http://anticsofacrazymom.typepad.com/nikki/2009/09/and-another-thing-checked-off-my-list.html" rel="nofollow">And another thing checked off my list</a> =-. I lost my beloved mother 5 months ago. Suddenly. Tragically. The one thing I’ve learned is that anyone who thinks they have the right to tell you how to grieve or how long to grieve can just shut the fuck up. You need to do what’s right for YOU. Sorry, I had to delurk for this.
.-= nikki´s last blog ..And another thing checked off my list =-.

]]> By: Lance Boldt http://herbadmother.com/2009/09/its-my-story-and-ill-cry-if-i-want-to/comment-page-3/#comment-30777 Lance Boldt Thu, 01 Oct 2009 17:50:06 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/?p=1015#comment-30777 Beautifully put. In the grief support group my family attends, there is almost always some time spent on the absolutly stupid things people say. Sometimes I get tired of us telling each other that they all mean well, they just don't know what to say, they're all just trying to not have to really think about it themselves. A close loss is a tough way to learn how to be more compassionate. .-= Lance Boldt´s last blog ..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/ChromosomesCancerKids/~3/6TbKMkwwG6w/can-you-lose-the-battle-and-still-win-the-war.html" rel="nofollow">Can You Lose the Battle and Still Win the War</a> =-. Beautifully put.

In the grief support group my family attends, there is almost always some time spent on the absolutly stupid things people say. Sometimes I get tired of us telling each other that they all mean well, they just don’t know what to say, they’re all just trying to not have to really think about it themselves.

A close loss is a tough way to learn how to be more compassionate.
.-= Lance Boldt´s last blog ..Can You Lose the Battle and Still Win the War =-.

]]> By: Amelia http://herbadmother.com/2009/09/its-my-story-and-ill-cry-if-i-want-to/comment-page-3/#comment-30775 Amelia Thu, 01 Oct 2009 02:11:47 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/?p=1015#comment-30775 So well put. .-= Amelia´s last blog ..<a href="http://bellathreads.blogspot.com/2009/09/view-from-my-chair.html" rel="nofollow">the view from my chair</a> =-. So well put.
.-= Amelia´s last blog ..the view from my chair =-.

]]> By: califmom http://herbadmother.com/2009/09/its-my-story-and-ill-cry-if-i-want-to/comment-page-3/#comment-30774 califmom Thu, 01 Oct 2009 00:02:59 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/?p=1015#comment-30774 The physical pain of grief--that's the part that gets skipped in movies. Just when you think you're able to walk upright for a few steps, it stabs you again, and you're back in the fetal position. That crater of pain in your chest is unreal, like no other pain. You can't rush its healing. If others don't want to be present for the process, that's their choice. This journey is yours. That you've allowed us to join you for a portion of it is an honor. .-= califmom´s last blog ..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/califmom/~3/ujxnyPyvoZU/its-not-even-a-sport.html" rel="nofollow">It's Not Even A Real Sport</a> =-. The physical pain of grief–that’s the part that gets skipped in movies. Just when you think you’re able to walk upright for a few steps, it stabs you again, and you’re back in the fetal position. That crater of pain in your chest is unreal, like no other pain. You can’t rush its healing. If others don’t want to be present for the process, that’s their choice. This journey is yours. That you’ve allowed us to join you for a portion of it is an honor.
.-= califmom´s last blog ..It’s Not Even A Real Sport =-.

]]> By: Happiness Is A Small Girl On A Suzuki Quad Racer | Her Bad Mother http://herbadmother.com/2009/09/its-my-story-and-ill-cry-if-i-want-to/comment-page-3/#comment-30773 Happiness Is A Small Girl On A Suzuki Quad Racer | Her Bad Mother Wed, 30 Sep 2009 19:04:32 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/?p=1015#comment-30773 [...] For all of your warm and supportive comments on my last post, thank you. Thank you. Your kindness and patience make all the [...] [...] For all of your warm and supportive comments on my last post, thank you. Thank you. Your kindness and patience make all the [...]

]]> By: Her Bad Mother http://herbadmother.com/2009/09/its-my-story-and-ill-cry-if-i-want-to/comment-page-1/#comment-30769 Her Bad Mother Wed, 30 Sep 2009 12:17:15 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/?p=1015#comment-30769 You sent me an e-mail last month, Ann, in which you described it as a 'life avalanche', and that is exactly what it is. A powerful and profound loss, as you say - a powerful and profound, movement, shift, collapse. Hanging in IS all I can do. You sent me an e-mail last month, Ann, in which you described it as a ‘life avalanche’, and that is exactly what it is. A powerful and profound loss, as you say – a powerful and profound, movement, shift, collapse.

Hanging in IS all I can do.

]]> By: Her Bad Mother http://herbadmother.com/2009/09/its-my-story-and-ill-cry-if-i-want-to/comment-page-2/#comment-30768 Her Bad Mother Wed, 30 Sep 2009 12:13:55 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/?p=1015#comment-30768 'trying to find the little signs'... yes. I do that too. constantly, looking for his ghost, his spirit, something, anything. might have to write about it ;) ‘trying to find the little signs’… yes. I do that too. constantly, looking for his ghost, his spirit, something, anything.

might have to write about it ;)

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