Comments on: Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Monsters http://herbadmother.com/2009/10/mamas-dont-let-your-babies-grow-up-to-be-monsters/ Bad Is The New Good Wed, 08 Feb 2012 18:10:56 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Her Bad Mother http://herbadmother.com/2009/10/mamas-dont-let-your-babies-grow-up-to-be-monsters/comment-page-1/#comment-31413 Her Bad Mother Thu, 05 Nov 2009 18:53:21 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/?p=1132#comment-31413 Bravo to you. Really. BRAVO. .-= Her Bad Mother´s last blog ..<a href="http://herbadmother.com/2009/11/the-grabbing-hands-grab-all-they-can/" rel="nofollow">The Grabbing Hands, Grab All They Can</a> =-. Bravo to you. Really. BRAVO.
.-= Her Bad Mother´s last blog ..The Grabbing Hands, Grab All They Can =-.

]]> By: Her Bad Mother http://herbadmother.com/2009/10/mamas-dont-let-your-babies-grow-up-to-be-monsters/comment-page-1/#comment-31412 Her Bad Mother Thu, 05 Nov 2009 18:51:07 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/?p=1132#comment-31412 I like to think that my love for humanity comes through in the posts about my love for my kids, and in the posts about fearlessness and finding hope/faith in the face of adversity. But those aren't every day, no, and recently there's been a fair amount of outrage. But, too, I think that inhumanity DOES need to be raged against. Loving humanity doesn't mean accepting inhumanity. It means demanding better of our humanity. .-= Her Bad Mother´s last blog ..<a href="http://herbadmother.com/2009/11/the-grabbing-hands-grab-all-they-can/" rel="nofollow">The Grabbing Hands, Grab All They Can</a> =-. I like to think that my love for humanity comes through in the posts about my love for my kids, and in the posts about fearlessness and finding hope/faith in the face of adversity. But those aren’t every day, no, and recently there’s been a fair amount of outrage. But, too, I think that inhumanity DOES need to be raged against. Loving humanity doesn’t mean accepting inhumanity. It means demanding better of our humanity.
.-= Her Bad Mother´s last blog ..The Grabbing Hands, Grab All They Can =-.

]]> By: Erik http://herbadmother.com/2009/10/mamas-dont-let-your-babies-grow-up-to-be-monsters/comment-page-1/#comment-31407 Erik Thu, 05 Nov 2009 16:43:56 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/?p=1132#comment-31407 You asked at the end of your entry how you prevent your son from ever being a part of this kind of mob and then answered that question in your response. Share the struggle with him! (start with us) You cannot prevent him from being exposed to this kind of tragedy or these kinds of people, but by showing him how to embrace the struggle you teach him both that it is okay to struggle and how it is done. It is the best thing we do as parents. For myself, I wish your writing demonstrated more of your own struggle to find the tolerance. You have a gift for words; I wish you used it to find our humanity, not rage so much against our inhumanity. You asked at the end of your entry how you prevent your son from ever being a part of this kind of mob and then answered that question in your response.

Share the struggle with him! (start with us)

You cannot prevent him from being exposed to this kind of tragedy or these kinds of people, but by showing him how to embrace the struggle you teach him both that it is okay to struggle and how it is done. It is the best thing we do as parents.

For myself, I wish your writing demonstrated more of your own struggle to find the tolerance. You have a gift for words; I wish you used it to find our humanity, not rage so much against our inhumanity.

]]> By: Cameramom http://herbadmother.com/2009/10/mamas-dont-let-your-babies-grow-up-to-be-monsters/comment-page-1/#comment-31341 Cameramom Wed, 04 Nov 2009 18:32:52 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/?p=1132#comment-31341 There was an incident around here last year where several boys followed a 12 year old girl and her boyfriend to a baseball dugout (where she and the boyfriend were planning to have sex)and raped the girl. The boyfriend had left (she was uncomfortable with the other boys around so no sex) and some of the other boys trapped her in the dugout and raped her. Charges against some of the boys were dropped because it was determined that they had served as look outs and didn't rape her. My problem is that while they didn't rape her, they didn't help her either. The boyfriend left her there and didn't call for help or anything either. Why stand around and not do anything? Why run off knowing something is happening and not help? I think all of them, including the boyfriend should face charges. standing around and watching makes you an accessory to the crime even if you didn't commit it, especially if you did nothing to help. There was an incident around here last year where several boys followed a 12 year old girl and her boyfriend to a baseball dugout (where she and the boyfriend were planning to have sex)and raped the girl. The boyfriend had left (she was uncomfortable with the other boys around so no sex) and some of the other boys trapped her in the dugout and raped her. Charges against some of the boys were dropped because it was determined that they had served as look outs and didn’t rape her. My problem is that while they didn’t rape her, they didn’t help her either. The boyfriend left her there and didn’t call for help or anything either. Why stand around and not do anything? Why run off knowing something is happening and not help? I think all of them, including the boyfriend should face charges. standing around and watching makes you an accessory to the crime even if you didn’t commit it, especially if you did nothing to help.

]]> By: LAVENDULA http://herbadmother.com/2009/10/mamas-dont-let-your-babies-grow-up-to-be-monsters/comment-page-1/#comment-31334 LAVENDULA Mon, 02 Nov 2009 16:52:31 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/?p=1132#comment-31334 HBM i have been reading other comments and sure they (the bystanders) were afraid of retaliation,to horrified to move, etc etc,but ultimately in the end not one of them had a cell phone not one of them could have quietly stepped away and called for help not one of them could have left and went into the school and told a teacher,no one said to themself hey i'm not going to watch this hey that could be my sister ....yes they are children but it is still fricking WRONG what they did and did not do HBM i have been reading other comments and sure they (the bystanders) were afraid of retaliation,to horrified to move, etc etc,but ultimately in the end not one of them had a cell phone not one of them could have quietly stepped away and called for help not one of them could have left and went into the school and told a teacher,no one said to themself hey i’m not going to watch this hey that could be my sister ….yes they are children but it is still fricking WRONG what they did and did not do

]]> By: LAVENDULA http://herbadmother.com/2009/10/mamas-dont-let-your-babies-grow-up-to-be-monsters/comment-page-1/#comment-31333 LAVENDULA Mon, 02 Nov 2009 16:31:00 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/?p=1132#comment-31333 catherine it may well be an uphill battle but in the end all we can rely on is the job we have done as parents and hope we have done it well enough to provide our children with healthy self-esteem compassion and kindness and strenghth of will and moral values that will encourage them to make the right choices for themselves and others i can say this as i have a 19 year old boy and 17 year old daughter as well as my 2 youngest that i hope and pray am doing as good a job with xo catherine it may well be an uphill battle but in the end all we can rely on is the job we have done as parents and hope we have done it well enough to provide our children with healthy self-esteem compassion and kindness and strenghth of will and moral values that will encourage them to make the right choices for themselves and others i can say this as i have a 19 year old boy and 17 year old daughter as well as my 2 youngest that i hope and pray am doing as good a job with xo

]]> By: Lippy http://herbadmother.com/2009/10/mamas-dont-let-your-babies-grow-up-to-be-monsters/comment-page-1/#comment-31328 Lippy Sun, 01 Nov 2009 05:25:13 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/?p=1132#comment-31328 This story has really stuck with me for a few reasons. First, as a mother to a son and two daughters. My kids are all very young, but I question how to raise them to stand up for themselves and their values. I think part of that is having a plan in place. Knowing who to inform if they see someone being hurt, when to jump in and when to get help. But I am also a high school teacher, I have chaperoned dances. I wonder what was going on that none of the adults sensed something off. The purpose of chaperones is to keep your ear to the ground and sniff out issues. These kids apparently felt no fear of being discovered. How do educators use this as a lesson to keep students safe? This story haunts me. .-= Lippy´s last blog ..<a href="http://lippyonlife.blogspot.com/2009/10/trick-or-treat-fail.html" rel="nofollow">Trick or Treat Fail</a> =-. This story has really stuck with me for a few reasons. First, as a mother to a son and two daughters. My kids are all very young, but I question how to raise them to stand up for themselves and their values. I think part of that is having a plan in place. Knowing who to inform if they see someone being hurt, when to jump in and when to get help. But I am also a high school teacher, I have chaperoned dances. I wonder what was going on that none of the adults sensed something off. The purpose of chaperones is to keep your ear to the ground and sniff out issues. These kids apparently felt no fear of being discovered. How do educators use this as a lesson to keep students safe? This story haunts me.
.-= Lippy´s last blog ..Trick or Treat Fail =-.

]]> By: Her Bad Mother http://herbadmother.com/2009/10/mamas-dont-let-your-babies-grow-up-to-be-monsters/comment-page-1/#comment-31327 Her Bad Mother Sat, 31 Oct 2009 17:44:17 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/?p=1132#comment-31327 Scarier than zombies and ghosts and witches and anything Halloween has to offer, that's for sure. Sigh, indeed. Scarier than zombies and ghosts and witches and anything Halloween has to offer, that’s for sure.

Sigh, indeed.

]]> By: Her Bad Mother http://herbadmother.com/2009/10/mamas-dont-let-your-babies-grow-up-to-be-monsters/comment-page-1/#comment-31326 Her Bad Mother Sat, 31 Oct 2009 17:43:40 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/?p=1132#comment-31326 I just stated what happened, with really no added details. It was a gang-rape. There were bystanders. Both facts are what drive my outrage. I think that it is very, very important - critically important - that we face this kind of thing head on and make clear that it is, in fact, horrific. Keeping our heads in the sand is, in a way, no better than being bystanders who do nothing to act against this kind of thing. Sure, maybe they were immobilized by fear, maybe so horrified they couldn't act - but they, and we, need to overcome this dynamic. And the first step is facing this as what it is. I just stated what happened, with really no added details. It was a gang-rape. There were bystanders. Both facts are what drive my outrage. I think that it is very, very important – critically important – that we face this kind of thing head on and make clear that it is, in fact, horrific. Keeping our heads in the sand is, in a way, no better than being bystanders who do nothing to act against this kind of thing. Sure, maybe they were immobilized by fear, maybe so horrified they couldn’t act – but they, and we, need to overcome this dynamic. And the first step is facing this as what it is.

]]> By: Her Bad Mother http://herbadmother.com/2009/10/mamas-dont-let-your-babies-grow-up-to-be-monsters/comment-page-1/#comment-31325 Her Bad Mother Sat, 31 Oct 2009 17:35:29 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/?p=1132#comment-31325 Oh, my god. UGH. Oh, my god. UGH.

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