Without support I would have given up.

I can say that I had an awesome lactation consultant and friends and family that knew I was committed to bfing my kids if at all possible. In our classes before my first was born, the LC said if you don’t have support and others tell you to give up, you will give up if it gets hard. She was right. My husband and mom talked to me in the middle of the night when I was in severe pain. My boss let me pump whenever I needed to to relieve the soreness and be okay – and yes, he was a dude! My sisters thought I was crazy but they too always reminded me that I wanted to do this. Everyone said if I was really having too hard a time they would understand, given the complications but like you Catherine, this made me more determined!

And I did it.

I do not judge people who do not do this but for me it was right and it ended up being the most wonderful thing I have ever done. I adored those moments with my kids and I was, I will admit, SUPER proud of myself for sticking with it.

And while I did not judge – I felt judged and I felt anger coming from some of my friends and colleagues who did not breastfeed. Am I crazy? I don’t think so. If I breastfeed it is my choice, just like bottle feeding is a choice. I used a nursing cover when I was a around people who were uncomfortable even though I feel no need to. I tried to be as sensitive as possible. But still, I was told over and over that formula is just as good, that breastfeeding in public is strange, that breastfeeding is fine when it comes to you easy but that a LOT of women just can’t and it makes them uncomfortable to talk about or see breastfeeding.

Others have said it but there needs to be additional sensitivity on both sides. If I breastfeed, people can disagree but I should be able to feed my baby whenever I need to and not shove myself in a bathroom or in my car to make other people uncomfortable. They are uncomfortable because it is still not really accepted in many places. I also should be able to say I breastfeed and tell people when they ask, which they do, why I made that choice, without people thinking I am judging them for making a different one. I am not – I am just being honest about my own experience. I will be sensitive of your experience too. I will not judge. But let’s let people be themselves and not shove breastfeeding mothers in closet because of people’s discomfort with the issue.

I agree with Jennifer – we just can’t get a break!

Whew – that was a vent. Great post!

I made the decision to formula feed when the nurse wanted my family to leave the hospital room shortly after I delivered so that I could feed her. I KNEW right then & there that it wasn’t for me. Decided to formula feed & never looked back.

I don’t have a “good” reason for not breastfeeding, and I don’t care who judges me for it. My daughter is happy, healthy (very healthy) & smart and most of all loved. The last of those the most important.

I became really ill with some severe postnatal mood disorders right after the birth. Because of the new brain chemistry altering effects of my milk, and my need for uninterupted sleep, I had to tearfully give up breastfeeding, which I’d ironically taken to like a duck to water.

Finding information about about which formula is best is next to impossible. All I run into is “breast is best” and “all formula is second rate”. We’re intelligent women-if Choice Magazine can find significant differences between dishwasher powders, you can bet your life they can find them between formula brands. But I’ll never know, because of the mantra we’re all afraid to stop muttering to each other.

If it weren’t for the fact that I was formula feed myself on even more inadequate 1970’s formula and went on to get a law degree and represent my state in tennis, I might actually start to believe formula is poison and be guilt tripped by the experts. But it’s not. It’s not plan A and never should be. But as far as a plan B goes, it’s far preferable to dead or brain damaged babies (which is what I would have had without it). If you look at it that way, your head stops hurting real fast.