Comments on: A Good Birth http://herbadmother.com/2010/01/a-good-birth/ Bad Is The New Good Wed, 08 Feb 2012 18:10:56 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Joyce http://herbadmother.com/2010/01/a-good-birth/comment-page-2/#comment-33366 Joyce Mon, 08 Feb 2010 07:38:13 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/?p=1542#comment-33366 I found your blog through a story on AOL about mom bullies. I chose to read this post because of its title and I wanted to see how you would describe a "good birth". Having been involved in many family members & friends births (from home water births to c-sections), I have always said that the only thing that matters is that everyone is healthy afterwards. Even the best laid plans for the "perfect" birth can go awry and every woman should have the right to make the choices that are best for her and her baby! Thank you for writing such a compassionate, open-minded article on this touchy subject! I found your blog through a story on AOL about mom bullies. I chose to read this post because of its title and I wanted to see how you would describe a “good birth”. Having been involved in many family members & friends births (from home water births to c-sections), I have always said that the only thing that matters is that everyone is healthy afterwards. Even the best laid plans for the “perfect” birth can go awry and every woman should have the right to make the choices that are best for her and her baby! Thank you for writing such a compassionate, open-minded article on this touchy subject!

]]> By: Cara http://herbadmother.com/2010/01/a-good-birth/comment-page-2/#comment-33355 Cara Fri, 05 Feb 2010 19:46:02 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/?p=1542#comment-33355 This is a horrifying story. Just horrifying because all of these women are trying to birth in such incredible FEAR. There is so very much work being done to support such moms and I am torn apart in horror knowing that these women did not get any such support. By all means, healthy baby, healthy mommy is absolutely the goal - the only goal. If you believed, as I do, that 95% of the babies born in this world do so without incident and that womens' bodies are created to physically, spiritually and emotionally create and birth life (should a women choose to birth) AND that medical intervention is potentially harmful to our children, you would see natural birth in a different light. The true problem is that our culture terrifies women (and men) with a contagiousness that makes medical intervention necessary. But ladies, doctors are not taught how to birth babies, they are taught how to handle emergencies. They are bound by hospital policies and their legal departments. The author has heard countless horror stories but I know of many, many homebirth midwives who have assisted in tens of thousands of births without incident! Many more women in the world are birthing without fear and therefore without pain or complications than ever before. I beg of you all to trust your bodies to do what mother nature intended (whether or not you choose to use drugs, etc.)and to trust your BABIES to know what to do when the time comes! Use guided imagery, use hypnosis, use whatever you have to to get into a state of relaxation to allow your body to do what it knows how to do! Get the epidural, get the demerol (or whatever sensation-relieving drugs they have), but embrace your innate gift - your powerful, magical gift of birth!!!!!!! This is a horrifying story. Just horrifying because all of these women are trying to birth in such incredible FEAR. There is so very much work being done to support such moms and I am torn apart in horror knowing that these women did not get any such support.
By all means, healthy baby, healthy mommy is absolutely the goal – the only goal. If you believed, as I do, that 95% of the babies born in this world do so without incident and that womens’ bodies are created to physically, spiritually and emotionally create and birth life (should a women choose to birth) AND that medical intervention is potentially harmful to our children, you would see natural birth in a different light.
The true problem is that our culture terrifies women (and men) with a contagiousness that makes medical intervention necessary. But ladies, doctors are not taught how to birth babies, they are taught how to handle emergencies. They are bound by hospital policies and their legal departments.
The author has heard countless horror stories but I know of many, many homebirth midwives who have assisted in tens of thousands of births without incident! Many more women in the world are birthing without fear and therefore without pain or complications than ever before.
I beg of you all to trust your bodies to do what mother nature intended (whether or not you choose to use drugs, etc.)and to trust your BABIES to know what to do when the time comes! Use guided imagery, use hypnosis, use whatever you have to to get into a state of relaxation to allow your body to do what it knows how to do! Get the epidural, get the demerol (or whatever sensation-relieving drugs they have), but embrace your innate gift – your powerful, magical gift of birth!!!!!!!

]]> By: Mimi http://herbadmother.com/2010/01/a-good-birth/comment-page-2/#comment-33343 Mimi Wed, 03 Feb 2010 22:45:41 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/?p=1542#comment-33343 Love this post. Love the comments (well most of them). And happy to find it via via some link. I'm in my 2nd pregnancy, first one was an emergency c-section not nearly as scary as some of the others described so and yeah I was disappointed since I wanted to have the pain and brag about surviving it bla bla. And even apologetic. But in the end, it was the baby that mattered and hell with the rest. #2 is likely to be a cesarian, only because it's probably my last pregnancy and frankly, I'm not the waterbirth, at home natural, no drugs, surrounded by family romantic type. But the only reason I doubt having an elective C is because of the fear that the baby is not ready to come out yet and may spend some time in NICU. Still, I'm thankful that I have this choice and am not on the street delivering. How horrifying in Haiti and my heart goes out to those women and children. Love this post. Love the comments (well most of them). And happy to find it via via some link.

I’m in my 2nd pregnancy, first one was an emergency c-section not nearly as scary as some of the others described so and yeah I was disappointed since I wanted to have the pain and brag about surviving it bla bla. And even apologetic. But in the end, it was the baby that mattered and hell with the rest.

#2 is likely to be a cesarian, only because it’s probably my last pregnancy and frankly, I’m not the waterbirth, at home natural, no drugs, surrounded by family romantic type. But the only reason I doubt having an elective C is because of the fear that the baby is not ready to come out yet and may spend some time in NICU.

Still, I’m thankful that I have this choice and am not on the street delivering. How horrifying in Haiti and my heart goes out to those women and children.

]]> By: jerseygirl89 http://herbadmother.com/2010/01/a-good-birth/comment-page-2/#comment-33232 jerseygirl89 Thu, 28 Jan 2010 22:21:44 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/?p=1542#comment-33232 Best post I've ever read about childbirth. Best post I’ve ever read about childbirth.

]]> By: megan http://herbadmother.com/2010/01/a-good-birth/comment-page-2/#comment-33183 megan Thu, 28 Jan 2010 04:47:10 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/?p=1542#comment-33183 I honestly cannot imagine an unmedicated c-section could be anyting but PURE TRAUMA. YOU have every reason in the world to have been traumatized, as do the other ladies on here who have made similar comments. I am very grateful for the amazing anethetist I had with my very rapid emeergency c-section. I felt 'stuff', but no pain. Blessings to you, I pray that the trauma fades with time. .-= megan´s last blog ..<a href="http://truedaughterofmary.blogspot.com/2010/01/im-still-learning.html" rel="nofollow">I'm Still Learning</a> =-. I honestly cannot imagine an unmedicated c-section could be anyting but PURE TRAUMA. YOU have every reason in the world to have been traumatized, as do the other ladies on here who have made similar comments. I am very grateful for the amazing anethetist I had with my very rapid emeergency c-section. I felt ‘stuff’, but no pain. Blessings to you, I pray that the trauma fades with time.
.-= megan´s last blog ..I’m Still Learning =-.

]]> By: megan http://herbadmother.com/2010/01/a-good-birth/comment-page-1/#comment-33181 megan Thu, 28 Jan 2010 03:58:59 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/?p=1542#comment-33181 I have given birth 8 times. The first was the medicated, induced because my labor stalled, then I had 6 natural, in the hospital cildbirths. I was (and am, to a certain extent) the pusher of natural childbirth (the first medicated birth was HORRID!) and do do believe that we need to trust our bodies. But I also know when my body needs help. My 8th birth was an emergency c-section, and while I hated the idea of it, and how fast it had to happen (baby not moving, heart rate way down, no fluid and meconium aspiration), I rapidly made peace with what I always considered the dreaded c-section. I still hate that it had to happen, but I am SO, SO thankful that my baby is here and healthy, because they told me that he would not have been in another hour. I will always marvel at ladies who truely choose a c-section for convenience or avoidance of labor, as my recover from that was the worst thing I have ever been through, physically. But I am so grateful that the possibility of getting a baby out quickly and safely exhists. My sister has to have c-sections, she is one of those girls who would not have survived childbirth 100 years ago. She has three kids, and wants more... I admire her so much because her desire to mother is so strong, she is willing to endure what a c-section does to you in order to have more children. I really don't know that I would go through it again, purposefully. Blessings to all of you, I have learned a thing or two here, today! .-= megan ´s last blog ..<a href="http://truedaughterofmary.blogspot.com/2010/01/im-still-learning.html" rel="nofollow">I'm Still Learning</a> =-. I have given birth 8 times. The first was the medicated, induced because my labor stalled, then I had 6 natural, in the hospital cildbirths. I was (and am, to a certain extent) the pusher of natural childbirth (the first medicated birth was HORRID!) and do do believe that we need to trust our bodies. But I also know when my body needs help. My 8th birth was an emergency c-section, and while I hated the idea of it, and how fast it had to happen (baby not moving, heart rate way down, no fluid and meconium aspiration), I rapidly made peace with what I always considered the dreaded c-section. I still hate that it had to happen, but I am SO, SO thankful that my baby is here and healthy, because they told me that he would not have been in another hour.
I will always marvel at ladies who truely choose a c-section for convenience or avoidance of labor, as my recover from that was the worst thing I have ever been through, physically. But I am so grateful that the possibility of getting a baby out quickly and safely exhists.
My sister has to have c-sections, she is one of those girls who would not have survived childbirth 100 years ago. She has three kids, and wants more… I admire her so much because her desire to mother is so strong, she is willing to endure what a c-section does to you in order to have more children. I really don’t know that I would go through it again, purposefully. Blessings to all of you, I have learned a thing or two here, today!
.-= megan ´s last blog ..I’m Still Learning =-.

]]> By: What A Girl Wants | Her Bad Mother http://herbadmother.com/2010/01/a-good-birth/comment-page-2/#comment-33112 What A Girl Wants | Her Bad Mother Wed, 27 Jan 2010 18:10:41 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/?p=1542#comment-33112 [...] anxieties and stresses and mental and physical health concerns that I endured in my pregnancy and delivery and post-partum experience with Jasper. “You can’t go through that again,” my [...] [...] anxieties and stresses and mental and physical health concerns that I endured in my pregnancy and delivery and post-partum experience with Jasper. “You can’t go through that again,” my [...]

]]> By: Miriam http://herbadmother.com/2010/01/a-good-birth/comment-page-2/#comment-33022 Miriam Fri, 22 Jan 2010 09:04:26 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/?p=1542#comment-33022 Thank you for this comment. I found my first birth highly traumatic, and that was compounded by the way other people seemed to find it trivial. Thank you for this comment. I found my first birth highly traumatic, and that was compounded by the way other people seemed to find it trivial.

]]> By: MommyNamedApril http://herbadmother.com/2010/01/a-good-birth/comment-page-2/#comment-32958 MommyNamedApril Thu, 21 Jan 2010 02:02:07 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/?p=1542#comment-32958 i love this post. i've had three pretty awful deliveries... but the result was beautiful healthy children and that's all i can ask for. that's all any of us can ask for. i love this post. i’ve had three pretty awful deliveries… but the result was beautiful healthy children and that’s all i can ask for. that’s all any of us can ask for.

]]> By: Stephanie http://herbadmother.com/2010/01/a-good-birth/comment-page-2/#comment-32957 Stephanie Thu, 21 Jan 2010 01:45:17 +0000 http://herbadmother.com/?p=1542#comment-32957 Wow, I am humbled by the horrific birth experiences described here, and absolutely in awe of the strength of women and what we all endure through childbirth (NOONE has said it didn't hurt). I have a funny circumstance in that I just assumed I would end up with a c-section as everyone in my family has had them (we tend to run small in the pelvis area). After getting to delivery with only gas to help with the pain, I pushed for 2.5 hours to no avail. I begged for the epidural at that point or for them to just cut me open and take her out. I got the epidural and a 15-minute warning that I could push for that long but she would be coming out the front way after that. Well, another 2 hours of pushing (4.5 hours in total) and she came out with the assistance of a vacuum extraction. However, she was blue and grey and dead looking, not breathing, cord wrapped twice, no sound. I watched them take her floppy, lifeless body to the table and work on her. 20 minutes later, she was breathing but no blood sugar to speak of. Eventually all was righted but in that 20 minutes as I laid there watching, I calmly put together a message to friends and family in my head, describing how our child was stillborn. My husband and sister were bawling, but I had this strange calm. When they finally described what was happening, I was much relieved to know she would make it and she's been a trooper ever since. After all that, I wouldn't give a rip (excuse the pun) how she came out. It so doesn't matter. I have my sweet little girl now, when I thought I wouldn't, but still have a hard time believing she came out vaginally and without any tearing whatsoever. I have to remind myself I didn't have a c-section. Maybe I made up for the pain of recovery with the exhausting and painful 4.5 hours of delivery. Ugh. Here's to hoping this one will have an easier route out. Wow, I am humbled by the horrific birth experiences described here, and absolutely in awe of the strength of women and what we all endure through childbirth (NOONE has said it didn’t hurt).

I have a funny circumstance in that I just assumed I would end up with a c-section as everyone in my family has had them (we tend to run small in the pelvis area). After getting to delivery with only gas to help with the pain, I pushed for 2.5 hours to no avail. I begged for the epidural at that point or for them to just cut me open and take her out. I got the epidural and a 15-minute warning that I could push for that long but she would be coming out the front way after that. Well, another 2 hours of pushing (4.5 hours in total) and she came out with the assistance of a vacuum extraction. However, she was blue and grey and dead looking, not breathing, cord wrapped twice, no sound. I watched them take her floppy, lifeless body to the table and work on her. 20 minutes later, she was breathing but no blood sugar to speak of.

Eventually all was righted but in that 20 minutes as I laid there watching, I calmly put together a message to friends and family in my head, describing how our child was stillborn. My husband and sister were bawling, but I had this strange calm. When they finally described what was happening, I was much relieved to know she would make it and she’s been a trooper ever since.

After all that, I wouldn’t give a rip (excuse the pun) how she came out. It so doesn’t matter. I have my sweet little girl now, when I thought I wouldn’t, but still have a hard time believing she came out vaginally and without any tearing whatsoever. I have to remind myself I didn’t have a c-section. Maybe I made up for the pain of recovery with the exhausting and painful 4.5 hours of delivery. Ugh. Here’s to hoping this one will have an easier route out.

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