Comments on: Rage, Rage Against The Whining Of The Child

By: Lawanda Albelo

Lawanda Albelo — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 09:14:19 +0000

Hello, also like the Shrek movies, very good animation!

By: Major Bedhead

Major Bedhead — Sun, 13 Jun 2010 00:38:34 +0000

I have three kids and I think they’re in some sort of competition, either to see who can whine the most or who can drive me into the psych ward fastest.

The 15 year old whines because she’s, well, 15. The 5 year old and the 4 year old whine because it seems that’s what they all do at this age. In addition to the near-constant whining, they fight. They push, they shove, they bite, they snatch things away from each other and they yell. I am ALWAYS on edge. Always. It doesn’t help that my husband decided about 6 weeks ago that he was going to do a legger and took off for parts unknown. Before he left, they were just normal-whiny. Now they’re insecure, clingy, angry whiny. And while I get it, I get their emotions and their anger and I try to be as patient as I can be, I am, most days, barely clinging to my sanity.

It’s weird how my brain can be simultaneously processing the hugging and comforting and trying to discuss things with my kids while at the same time screaming inside “OHMYGODWILLYOUJUSTSHUTUPFORFIVEFUCKINGMINUTESSOICANTHINK???? PLEASE!!!!!”
.-= Major Bedhead´s last blog ..When Is A Book Club More Than A Book Club? =-.

By: Bree @ The Mom with Moxie

Bree @ The Mom with Moxie — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 20:19:11 +0000

I could’ve written this post about my 4-year-old son. His whining is getting out of control. Would it be bad, if I just ignored him until he spoke in a less annoying tone?

By: Her Bad Mother

Her Bad Mother — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 14:26:48 +0000

We’re none of us alone – or, we don’t need to be. Glad that this helped a little

By: althea

althea — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 11:57:10 +0000

I remember pre-kids, asking my best friend about whining. I love her children, but when they would whine it would drive me a little batty. She told me , “Well, its different when they’re yours.”
My two year old boy is not a talker yet. He is a whiner. I try to get him to use his words, and he DOES try, but I cannot for the LIFE of me understand him sometimes. I do not want to overwhelm him with choices, so sometimes I yell…I yell stupid things. Like, “STOP F*CKING YELLING WHAT THE F*UCK IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?!?!?!”
Sometimes I put myself in time out and go ask God for help to be a nice mommy.
I love the idea of the whiney room. I will try that out.
Thank you for making me feel less alone in this battle.
.-= althea´s last blog ..Day Four-ish =-.

By: Dana - Your Inspired Coach

Dana - Your Inspired Coach — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 05:10:32 +0000

BTW – my parents’ version would not have gone like that. The eyebrow would have been raised. Then if I did not stop whining, I’d have been given my options in a much swifter and more concise version of eat your toast and stop whining or go back to bed hungry. I’d have not liked the go back to bed hungry option, so I’d have stopped the whining.
.-= Dana – Your Inspired Coach´s last blog ..The Work on Corporate America and Women (read: Me) =-.

By: Dana - Your Inspired Coach

Dana - Your Inspired Coach — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 05:08:44 +0000

Ah, I finally found the comment option on a post!

Harriet Lerner’s book, “The Dance of Anger” is a great book for women to read about learning to recognize and allow your anger to guide you in a way that is constructive.

Nobody is really raised to deal with anger, are they? Most of us are taught to stuff it or be punished for our anger…which is just our emotional GPS telling us this is something we are not wanting. The obvious next question, if we are present enough of mind, is what are we wanting in that moment? What is the anger telling us?

Obviously, in this scenario, you were wanting Emilia to stop whining, but anger is not a bad thing and can be used constructively. I’m sure at 4 years old she can understand, “Mommy is angry. She hasn’t had coffee or breakfast yet and you are whining. Mommy would like you to use big girl language and ask for what you want without whining or ______. It would make Mommy happy if you would talk like a big girl about how you want your toast.” (I don’t know if it’s go back to bed, a time out, whatever you use for discipline, fill in the blank.)

I know I’m one of the not-yet-mothers, but I have been 4 and my parents were pretty clear with me at that age and usually didn’t have to even speak to get that point across by that age. An eyebrow did the trick.
.-= Dana – Your Inspired Coach´s last blog ..The Work on Corporate America and Women (read: Me) =-.

By: Adrianscrazylife

Adrianscrazylife — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 06:23:15 +0000

I think just reading through your comments is kind of like a tutorial for dealing with whining. I need it too because I volunteered (gulp) to watch my 3 grandkids for an entire week and #2 is a world-class whiner! The good news is that now he doesn’t have Mama & Dad to let him get away with it. I have zero tolerance for whining.

My tactic is to concentrate on what I DO want rather than what I DON’T want. So I’ve set up a point system. When they behave nicely and do what I want, they will get points. When they whine and don’t do what I ask, I take points away. At the end of the day, the one with the most points gets to choose a “bonus slip” out of a jar. The bonus slips are just quick easy things that kids like – extra game time, stay up a little late, go on a flashlight walk, get ice cream, etc. Cross your fingers and hope it works!

By: mom101

mom101 — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 00:48:21 +0000

The whining can definitely drive a mom to drink. Or at least, to yell. I always try to stop and think about why I’m angry – usually it’s not actually something the kids are doing wrong. Usually it’s me wishing I were doing something else or having some other responsibility, and feeling frustration. Which is totally not fair right?

That starving children in Africa thing hasn’t worked for us yet either; maybe a few more years.

Hang in there mama.
.-= mom101´s last blog ..Confession =-.

By: roo

roo — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 17:02:44 +0000

Unfortunately, most people don’t cotton well to whining, so I’d say showing her it’s upsetting and annoying might actually be doing her a service– particularly since you go to such pains to shield her from the full blast of your emotions.