A Shoe Is A Wish Your Foot Makes

January 25, 2011

My weekly wardrobe looks something like this: pajamas/hoodie, pajamas/hoodie, yoga pants/hoodie, yoga pants/Minnie Mouse sweatshirt, pajamas/Minnie Mouse sweatshirt, pajamas, pajamas. If I have to go outside, I add knock-off Uggs and a puffy ski jacket. If I have to go out anywhere other than school, daycare, ballet, karate or grocery shopping, I’ll swap the pajama bottoms or yoga pants for jeans. I am style, personified.

The thing is, I work at home and at home, for much of the day, the only people around to judge what I’m wearing are the cats. The cats don’t care. They don’t see the need to get dressed up at home either. Why waste precious minutes getting dressed that could otherwise be spent reclining in sunbeams? Or, in my case, posting about sunbeams on Twitter?

I do, however, wear real grown-up clothes when I leave the house to do real grown-up things that involve being around other real grown-ups in grown-up clothes. Because, one wants to fit in. One also wants to take advantage of any opportunity to wear pretty shoes that one can’t wear at home with one’s yoga pants, not because one has any sort of sartorial objection to wearing pretty shoes with yoga pants – one doesn’t – but because one would inevitably break one’s neck tripping over a Thomas train if one wore heels in her home as a regular practice. Which is to say, hell yes I wear high heels when I venture out in the great wild world of grown-ups. How could I not?

This week, I cannot. I am packing for my trip to Nashville, for Blissdom, right this very minute and there is nary a heel to be found. That this distresses me should go without saying. But I’m not supposed to wear heels right now, for reasons that involve a hip injury and a longstanding scoliosis condition which was worsened by said hip injury and which causes me, now, to lurch to one side like Quasimodo and also to experience a great deal of pain which, truthfully, is only marginally less upsetting than the fact that I lurch to the side like Quasimodo. (Over the holidays, when I was limping around, Tanner watched me very carefully for a while before wheeling up to me and asking, very earnestly, “so, what’s your disability?” That I had to think about it – and that the aggravated scoliosis wasn’t the first thing that came to mind – is some cause for concern.)

So I won’t be wearing high heels this week. I will be wearing flat shoes – flat shoes, flat boots, shoes with orthotic inserts, shoes with inner Frankensteinian lifts – and I will be very unhappy about it. I know that this is peevish of me – Tanner is my reminder that as far as disabilities go, the inability to wear high heels is not a particularly serious one – but still. Shoes! Pretty, pretty shoes! I want so badly to wear them.

(Maybe just this one pair, maybe just when I’m sitting down?

You won’t tell on me? Please? Pretty please?)


What I’ll be talking about at Blissdom: using social networks like Twitter for good (with Claire Diaz Ortiz, and this fine fellow), with reference to this whole thing, of course, among much else. And about awesomeness in general. I might wear a tutu. Ballet flats go nicely with tutus.

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    Karen from Chookooloonks January 25, 2011 at 12:02 pm

    Oh, honey, bring your fabulous shoes.

    *I’ll* wear them for you.

    You’re welcome. I’m a giver.

    .-= Karen from Chookooloonks´s last blog ..seattle jazz trip- on ferries- new friendships &amp charming restaurants on tiny islands =-.

    Ironic Mom January 25, 2011 at 12:14 pm

    If the heels are but a wish, bring a bright bag. And flat boots are lovely – not that I’d know – because I can’t get them over my big calves. Sigh.

    Enjoy Blissdom. I’ll be following the tweets!
    .-= Ironic Mom´s last blog ..Funny Search Terms- You Are What They Look For =-.

    Brittany at Mommy Words January 25, 2011 at 12:32 pm

    I will be carrying a crazy 1 year old Violet at Blissdom and thus will also be forsaking the heels as well as the necklaces and earings for sparkly bracelets and maybe some mascara. Otherwise I’m with Karen and would totally wear those shoes for you. They are gorgeous. I would never tell or care if you put those lovelies right up there on the table for all to admire. Can’t wait to see you in whatever you are wearing!
    .-= Brittany at Mommy Words´s last blog ..Pro-Choice with a Side of Tears =-.

    Rebecca January 25, 2011 at 1:18 pm

    Heels are overrated; I stopped wearing them years ago when I realized that the way I walk in them is so comical that any benefits of gained height are lost.

    Jaelithe January 25, 2011 at 3:56 pm

    In yet another I swear I am not your Oprah-secret-sister coincidence, I also have trouble with heels from time to time due to my body’s refreshingly original but sadly inefficient take on proper skeletal design (in my case, it has to due with one leg being shorter than the other, which has caused general ankle/knee/hip alignment chaos that has increased over time).

    I used to disregard my doctors’ admonitions and religiously rock 3-inchers anyway, even to dance or work on my feet all day in, even when I was pregnant. My tolerance for pain in the name of fashion was sort of a point of pride.

    In recent years I’ve realized that there are some pretty hot-looking flats out there in the world, though. I consider this revelation nearly as life-changing as my much earlier realization that gainfully employed, mentally stable nice guys can be just as hot as moody, wounded wanderers in biker jackets.
    .-= Jaelithe´s last blog ..So That Happened =-.

    JenB January 25, 2011 at 5:12 pm

    You are going to a conference with hundreds of amazing women while wearing flats. And speaking. I’m stating home under 3 feet of record snowfall. I would gladly take on your shoe problem. :-)
    .-= JenB´s last blog ..Hopefully I can retract how I feel in this post at a later date =-.

    Sara D January 26, 2011 at 10:26 am

    Flats are great! There are amazing flats out there. I am 6′ tall so wearing heels makes me look like a ridiculous wobbling giantess, ready to crash down and suffocate the little ants beneath me. I am one with the flats. Embrace them. They deserve love too :)

    Rachael January 26, 2011 at 11:49 am

    Hm. Your WAHM wardrobe sounds familiar. Alas, though: my feet are wide and flat and either don’t fit or look ridiculous in most cute shoes. These days I’m longing for a better haircut.

    Enjoy the conference!
    .-= Rachael´s last blog ..Almost Wordless Wednesday- Going to Manhattan =-.

    Melissa E. January 26, 2011 at 10:50 pm

    I feel your pain. I’m stuck in orthotic hiking shoes for the next few months due to “acquired equinus deformity of the foot.” I miss my cute shoes.

    Keith @ Barbie Cooking February 9, 2011 at 10:28 am

    Too bad for you,you can’t wear your gorgeous pair of shoes. Women really loves shoes,flat shoes is not bad
    wearing. It’s very comfy and you can move freely.
    Hope you’ll ok now and you had a fantastic conference day.

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