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22 Sep

So Far Away From Me

It’s my anniversary today. My 15th anniversary. Yeah. We’ve been married a while. We’ve been together for pretty much the entirety of my adult life. We’ve been together for almost half of my entire life. That’s a long time. That’s something to celebrate, I think.

But I’m not at home. Well, I am at home, kind of, inasmuch as I almost live here, in New York. I got the keys to our apartment in New York – our home in New York – this morning, so, yeah, in certain very important ‘wherever I lay my hat and also most of my shoe collection’ respects, I’m home. But Kyle and the kids are not at that home, they’re at our other home, the one in Canada, which feels so far away this morning, so far away.

I was away this time last year, too; even further away, in Lesotho. But I thought then, as I do now, that although it would have been lovely to be with Kyle on our anniversary, it was, after all, just another day, among many days, spread over a lifetime. And this year, in particular, as we go through this extraordinary period of change – big change, life change – it’s the days ahead that seem most important. Not the now – I mean, the now is always important (carpe diem, y’all), but it’s just a moment – and there are so many moments in a life, in a lifetime, and sometimes you need to look ahead at the moments to come – the moments that will be quieter, easier – and derive your joy from the knowledge that you have that, that you have a horizon, a beautiful horizon upon which the sun is always rising.

Happy anniversary, K. I am looking to our horizon.