I’m on my way to New Orleans today, to speak at the Mom 2.0 Summit. That’s awesome and all – I’ve never been to New Orleans, so that’s exciting, and Mom 2.0 is always fantastic – but honestly, I’m getting a little tired of airplanes.

Anyway. Random whatevers:

1.) This post almost made me cry yesterday, just from the sheer truth of it. I know something of what she describes – not all, because I’m not the primary breadwinner in our family, but some, a lot of some – and I also know that what she describes can bring a woman to her knees. I’ve seen it bring my sister to her knees. It has my sister on her knees right now. My sister didn’t join us at Disney World last week, because she just… well, she just couldn’t. She’s barely had the strength to stand. It’s a long story, one that you’ve heard parts of, but yeah. We can talk more about that later. Liz reminded me of why that conversation is important for so many women, and not just those like my sister. And I’m grateful for that.

2.) I’m also grateful for all of the joy of last week. So much joy. What does one do with so much joy? One analyzes it.

3.) Speaking of joy: this is one of my favorite photos from last week. We all felt that way, all the time. Okay, the kids felt that way all the time. I lagged periodically.

4.) I also love this picture, because, BOOTS.

5.) ACCESSORIES.

6.) If the volume of email that I’m receiving in response to this post is anything to go by, it seems that there are a lot of you out there who’d like to talk more business. It’s still a topic that makes me a little squirmy, but it’s a squirminess that’s worth getting over, I think. If you have any specific questions you’d like me to address – no, I won’t be discussing how much I earn – leave a comment at that post and I’ll try to answer what I can, like, next week or something.

7.) It’s Anti-Bullying Day today. Wear pink. I am:

8.) Be joyful. You never regret being joyful.

Or, The Adoration Of The Blessed Virgin By Charlie The Swordfish

I’m having trouble deciding what to give up for Lent. The obvious choice is coffee, because I’m addicted to coffee and it brings me untold pleasure, but the trouble is, I’m addicted to it and it brings me untold pleasure, which is to say, if I gave it up, I would become very, very bitchy, which is directly contrary to the spirit of Lent, as I understand it. Last year, I tried to give up chocolate, and failed. So I’m thinking that this year I should aim for something doable, like giving up raisins. I hate raisins. That misses the whole point of Lent, I suppose, but still.

1.) I’m going to Austin this weekend. I went to San Antonio last weekend. I’m not sure why I’ve been spending so much time in Texas of late, but there you have it. You could go to Texas too, if you want. I’ll send you there. No, really.

2.) I had a religious experience while I was in Texas. And not the kind that involved margaritas. Although there were lots of those, too. Also, maracas.

3.) I’m reading Peggy Orenstein’s Cinderella Ate My Daughter, which is a fun book to read, even though – or maybe because – I’m just not as worried about princesses as she is. Maybe I just haven’t thought about it carefully enough, but I do keep a copy of Bruno Bettelheim’s The Uses Of Enchantment on my desk and also own the complete works of Judith Butler, so. It’s not like I’m not capable of thinking about it carefully. In any case, seriously: as long as the princess canon includes Belle and Mulan and also maybe Tim Burton’s Alice (not a princess, I know, but still), I’m not all that bothered about it. Also, why don’t we get all agitated about pirates? Pirates are kind of dodgy, you know.

4.) Numb sphincters. I’m not sure what it means, either.

5.) All together now: WHO CARES.

6.) I still want you guys to come out to this, if you’re local or local-adjacent. It’s for a cause – it’s for Tanner – but I’ll also be making an ass of myself, which is always something to see, so.

Things that are awesome:

1.) Being asked to open Disney On Ice / Toy Story 3 On Ice – in a tutu – and knowing that a portion of ticket sales will be donated to Parent Project Muscular Dystrophy in Tanner’s name. I’m probably going to cry, which is going to be disorienting, you know, what with me being under spotlights in a stadium while on ice skates and all. (I don’t actually know if I’m going to be on skates. I will be on ice, so it’s what you’d expect, but you never know. Maybe I’ll fly in on the Tinkerbell wire. That would probably be safer.) (You should totally come. And wear a tutu. And cheer, loud, and pretend to not notice if I do, in fact, burst into tears.)

2.) This photo.

3.) Social Media Week. More specifically, dragging Emilia and Kyle downtown to speak at Social Media Week Toronto about their experience being part of a social media family, which is to say, put them in front of a crowd and demand that they explain what it feels like to be fodder for my ongoing virtual storytelling experiment. You might want to come see that. You don’t have to wear a tutu.

4.) The heartburstingly awesome Alison from Nummies Bras, who shared a post of mine about post-partum depression with her audience (you’ll recognize it as a reworking of this post from last summer) and who is gently moderating the discussion and spreading the love and support and doing so, so much to support the cause of fighting depression-shame. I adore her, muchly.

5.) Being a Bloggie finalist, in the category of Best Canadian blog, which is totally more prestigious than Best Blog By A Person Who Lives Adjacent To The Greater Toronto Area.

6.) The Basement.

7.) My mother, who has been writing about Victorian vaginal examinations for reasons that only make sense if you know my mother and/or read her blog.

8.) Your confessions about what you’d wear if you could channel your kids’ style, and make no apologies to anyone, anywhere, and also if they made footie pajamas and Spiderman snow boots in adult sizes. If you haven’t already, leave a comment to be eligible to win a $150 Old Navy gift card. (Tomorrow I’ll post the results of my styling session with Emilia, about which I’ll only say this for now: there were skull-print socks, vintage patent leather heels, leggings, a circa-80′s Armani party dress and an umbrella involved.)

9.) Crazy bandit squirrels.

(Observe Harold and Maude on their perch in upper right hand corner. Aren’t they awesome? I love Harold and Maude.)

My One Word, wordled. Or rather, my 49 One Words, as decided by you (duplicates were eliminated) and then transcribed into Wordle for the purposes of making a word cloud, which is so last-month-media, but still. Note that I opted to include the word ‘moist,’ despite my deep aversion to it, for the simple reason that a) it was suggested, and b) human beings are 98% water, so it’s probably accurate.

There were some words that were suggested a few times over – open, honest, impassioned/passionate, smart, strong – and I love those words. I also love Catherine J‘s suggestion of ‘Catherine Wheel‘ – which strictly speaking isn’t one word, but two, unless you hyphenate it, which I think that you can do with any words, really – and Annie‘s coinage of ‘philoso-activista,’ which I – being a transliteration-of-ancient-Greek geek, tweaked as ‘philosopho-activista’ – and Alli‘s sensible insistence upon ‘complex’… I love all of these words, really, with the obvious exception of the word ‘moist,’ and can see using all of them. But after reflecting upon all these words, and the ones that I had jotted down, secretly, in my Little Black Notebook Of Words That Don’t Go On The Internet, I settled upon this:

Searching.

Just that. Searching. Searching my heart, searching my mind, searching love, searching (for) hope, searching (for) reason, searching (for) whatever it is that lays beyond reason. Searching for ways to make things better, searching for understanding about the things that don’t lend themselves to conversations about ‘better.’ Just, you know, searching.

Which, yes, I know: ‘searching,’ like ‘authenticity’ and ‘connect,’ is a word that might cause cavities if you hold it in your mouth too long. But that doesn’t mean that it isn’t the best word, or, at least, the best word for now.

That, and ‘moist.’

———–

Random addenda:

- I was interviewed by Technorati for their State Of The Blogosphere series. I said stuff.

- Babble named me one of their top mom bloggers, again. I’m sandwiched between the inspiring Karen Walrond and the seriously just-so-lovely Rebecca Woolf, friends both, and that – and the rest of my company on that list – makes this, for me, a real honor. If you check out their list, though, be sure to check out their nomination page and get to know some of the amazing blogs that are cropping up there. And nominate someone who deserves to be known a little better, or a lot better, because, really, there’s room enough for bajillions of us in any celebration of who and what we are. And we’re all better off for making that room as open and inclusive and welcoming as we can. (Also, check out the Canadian Mom Bloggers list that we did last year at The Bad Moms Club for some of the Canuck blogs you should be getting to know. Maybe we’ll do it again this year. If I ever catch up on my sleep.)

- I wanna help this mom, and her boy. Please help me help this mom, and her boy.

This was the week that I let my Bad Mother flag really fly, I think. I mean, sure, I have, in the past, covered such established bad ground as spanking my preschooler and nursing another woman’s child and dressing my kid up as a Droog, but that ground is pretty well-trodden – doesn’t everybody use A Clockwork Orange as a reference when costuming their kids for Halloween? – and in any case,  I don’t think that you can really call yourself a bad parent until you start blaspheming Santa. Which I totally did.

How bad have I been? Let’s crunch the numbers:

1) I blasphemed Santa, if calling out Saint Nicolas as a vampire can be considered blaspheming, which I’m pretty sure it can.

2) And even if it can’t, using him as a disciplinary tool doesn’t exactly count as good.

3) Nor does comparing snowflakes to penises and guns.

4) Or admiring weaponized strollers.

HOWEVER:

1) I aided and abetted my daughter in totally drag-ifying the Christmas tree that she had to decorate for school, and that’s good, right?

2.) Also, I laughed at her jokes.

3.) And I let Jasper puke in my hair.

4.) And I decided that I had to draw the line somewhere. I drew it here.

I think that I’m probably running evensies on the bad/good thing, although if you consider that I also missed Emilia’s school Christmas concert this morning that probably tips the scale. HOWEVER I am taking her to see Disney-Does-NHL tonight, and we all know that anything Disney is automatic WIN. Then again: PRINCESSES.

And I don’t know how to factor in the fact that I hit my head, or my attempt (good!) and failure (bad!) to produce home-baked goods for my daughter’s school Christmas party which, did I mention, included a concert component that I failed to attend.

So: 4g – 4b – 1mc +1d – (x)p +/- fba /head injury  [where g is good, b is bad, mc is missed concert, d is disney, p is princesses, fba is failed baking attempt and head injury is head injury] =LIQUOR. I think.

Math is hard.