bad mother

I did a gift guide the other week. It was kind of fun, not least because it was totally a tongue-in-cheek gift guide – not that Brainy Smurf isn’t good for awesome gift-giving advice, but still. That said, if I were to do a serious gift guide, which is to say, one that took seriously the question of the things that I or any other contemporary mothers really need, it would look more like this: Keep reading…

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It Was Hard To Find An Appropriately Sized Birthday Cake, But We Managed

November 21, 2011

She didn’t ask for much for her birthday. Just, you know, little things: a visit to the American Girl doll store, a cake, some candy. Oh, and a personal audience with the Statue of Liberty. Turns out, I could give her that. Sometimes, I don’t feel like such a bad mom after all.

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They Say It’s Her Birthday

November 17, 2011

Well, was her birthday. Past tense. According to the calendar, anyway. But we’ve adjusted the calendar. Her birthday is now on Saturday. And we are doing anything and everything that she wants. Which includes, if you’re wondering, a trip to the Statue of Liberty, lunch at the American Girl store, a visit to the Toys [...]

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Happiness Wears Pipe Cleaner Glasses

November 7, 2011

I wrestle with guilt, as you know. Also, anxiety. It’s a fun combination, guilt and anxiety. I have a lot of experience with both. But whereas when I was working from home my guilt and anxiety tended toward the mild, ‘shouldn’t I do more volunteering at my daughter’s school; I mean, isn’t that why moms [...]

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Don’t Feed The Bears

June 28, 2011

This is one of those weeks where I feel like I’m running over a bridge with a freight train at my back; I have to get to the other side, and I cannot – CANNOT – miss a step or slow down or BAM! SQUOOSH! and so I’m racing along, not even daring to catch [...]

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Parents In Glass Houses

June 21, 2011

A couple of years ago, I wrote about spanking. I wrote a few posts, actually, and one magazine article, because I’d spanked my own child, and admitted it, and the ensuing uproar from outraged observers demanded its own commentary. And then the commentary kind of got out of hand – the topic was, after all, [...]

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Sugar And Spice And Everything Nice Except For The Voice In Her Head That Says Bad Things

June 16, 2011

Here’s the kind of conversation that my husband and daughter have, apparently, while I’m away: Emilia: “Daddy, I thought of a good name.” Kyle: “What’s that?” Emilia: “Mrs Poopy McFucky Pants.”

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A History Of Looking; Or, Why I Post Pictures Of My Children On The Internet

June 3, 2011

A couple of years ago, I received a very sweet e-mail from a self-professed ‘dedicated lurker’ who asked the following question: I wonder if you are ever concerned that your daughter’s (beautiful) image will remain in cyberspace, with no mechanism for you — or her — to reclaim it or her privacy? She meant no [...]

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Eichmann On The Playground

May 12, 2011

There’s nothing like being away from home and getting a text from your spouse that says call me as soon as you can. It’s about Emilia, he says when I call. What about Emilia? I don’t know what the right words are to express, here, how shrill my voice was. ‘Shrill’ works decently well, I [...]

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Amazing Psychic Wonder Toddler Sees All

May 9, 2011

The old saying that ‘a picture is worth a thousand words’ has always struck me as really misleading. Most pictures you can describe in, like, 140 characters, otherwise why would there be TwitPic and Instagram? And anyway, why ‘a thousand’? If that number is meant to signify ‘lots,’ it kind of misses the mark. A [...]

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