Being Bad

The Same, Same Old Story

November 2, 2011

So I failed utterly in my efforts to transform Emilia into a crime-fighting strawberry with royal lineage, in part because I just couldn’t figure it out (some of you had very good suggestions involving pillowcases, but, alas, we do not have red pillowcases and I did not have time to acquire red pillowcases, and also, who has red pillowcases? Don’t those imply red bedding? WHO HAS RED BEDDING?), and also in part because by the time I got home Monday evening Emilia had already decided that the quality of her costume mattered less than the speed with which she could launch herself into trick-or-treating and was having none of my suggestions about how to turn ‘Strawberry Shortcake’ into ‘Her Royal Highness, SuperBerry.’ She just wanted to get out there. Cramming her into one of my red sweaters and going at it with a Sharpie would just slow her down.

So she declared herself ‘Super Strawberry Shortcake’ and insisted that despite her lack of a cape, she was indeed a superhero. Jasper, The Cowardly Lion, was her sidekick.

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What Happens When You Put On Shiny Spandex

October 17, 2011

The New Kids On The Block were never really my jam when I was younger. I was more into Depeche Mode and and The Cure and adorable boy bands just weren’t, you know, emo enough for me. That said, I did know who they were and I did, maybe, know all the words to Step [...]

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I Don’t Take My Shirt Off For Just Anyone, You Know

August 19, 2011

So the other day there was this post on Jezebel about this photograph of Kate Moss and her daughter that had been photoshopped in the weird way that magazine photos usually get photoshopped, and although it wasn’t a particularly interesting post – I like their ‘Photoshop Of Horrors’ posts, generally, but more to gawk at [...]

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Ten Ways That I Have More Fun Now That I’m A Parent

August 15, 2011

I was never one of those little girls who played with dolls and dreamed of becoming a mommy. When I played with dolls, it was to concoct new adventures for Barbie, International Super Spy, or to host global summits on world peace with George, my stuffed monkey, the Bionic Woman, a clutch of plush kittens [...]

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A History Of Looking; Or, Why I Post Pictures Of My Children On The Internet

June 3, 2011

A couple of years ago, I received a very sweet e-mail from a self-professed ‘dedicated lurker’ who asked the following question: I wonder if you are ever concerned that your daughter’s (beautiful) image will remain in cyberspace, with no mechanism for you — or her — to reclaim it or her privacy? She meant no [...]

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Why I Should Really Never Be Allowed Out Of The House, Ever

May 31, 2011

Here’s a little public service announcement: if you are a mom with a new baby, and you see me in public, you should steer clear of me, because I will terrorize you.

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On The Road Again

May 16, 2011

It always seems like a good idea, when the opportunity arises, to take my kids on trips with me. This week, in particular, it seemed like a fantastic idea: take the kids and the long-suffering husband to Universal Orlando to hang out with some other social media families and drink Butterbeer and shriek accio twitter [...]

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All I Want For Mother’s Day Is All This And A Bag Of Chips

May 3, 2011

I’m kind of a Mother’s Day curmudgeon. I’m one of those grumpy moms who says, when asked what I’d like for Mother’s Day, ‘a day off,’ because, seriously, isn’t spending a day not being a mom the very best way to spend the day on which motherhood is celebrated? The thing is, when I say [...]

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In Lieu Of Deep Thoughts On The Celebration Of Easter, I Give You This

April 24, 2011

Being a parent means never having to say you’re sorry for making your children pose with giant dead-eyed Furries.

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In Defense Of The Selfish Parent

March 22, 2011

“Parenting is the most selfless institution in the world.” The words jumped out at me from the screen. Most selfless? In the world? I sipped my coffee and considered the ethical calculation that would rank me as more selfless than, say, Mother Teresa. Maybe, I thought. I can see that. Mother Teresa, after all, never [...]

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