Being Bad

The Sins Of The Tiger-Blooded Assassin Warlock Fathers

March 15, 2011

I’ll be the first to admit that the name ‘Charlie Sheen’ doesn’t immediately spring to mind when one considers questions concerning parenting. It can, in fact, be argued that the words ‘parenting’ and ‘Charlie Sheen’ should just never be used together in a sentence, if that sentence is not ‘Charlie Sheen has nothing to tell [...]

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Motherhood: Scarier Than A Barrel Of Rabid Badgers, But Twice As Fun

February 22, 2011

Motherhood can be scary, you know? Even when you’re not grappling with complicated demons, even when motherhood presents itself to you more or less straightforwardly, it’s scary, because it’s just so loaded, because children are so small and they get sick and they seem so fragile and you always think that you don’t know what [...]

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Bad Mother Is As Bad Mother Does

February 4, 2011

Usually, when I say that I’m a bad mother, I have my tongue jammed pretty firmly into the fleshy innards of my cheek. Even when I insist that I am not making a tongue-in-cheek statement – when I state that we’re all bad mothers, according to someone (because someone, somewhere, always thinks that we are, [...]

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A Shoe Is A Wish Your Foot Makes

January 25, 2011

My weekly wardrobe looks something like this: pajamas/hoodie, pajamas/hoodie, yoga pants/hoodie, yoga pants/Minnie Mouse sweatshirt, pajamas/Minnie Mouse sweatshirt, pajamas, pajamas. If I have to go outside, I add knock-off Uggs and a puffy ski jacket. If I have to go out anywhere other than school, daycare, ballet, karate or grocery shopping, I’ll swap the pajama [...]

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Tiger Moms Don’t Dance

January 11, 2011

When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a ballerina. More than anything, I wanted to be a ballerina. And so I asked to take ballet classes and I donned pink tights and black leotards and pranced my way through class after class after class. I practiced plies at home, and spent hours [...]

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You Say You Want A Resolution

January 5, 2011

This past weekend I tried to explain New Year’s resolutions to Emilia. “A resolution is something that you decide that you want to do in the upcoming year. You say it out loud or write it down, on New Year’s Eve or New Year’s Day, so that everyone knows what your resolution is.” “But you’re [...]

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In Moms And Boobs We Trust. Or Not.

January 3, 2011

Remember that one time, when I breastfed another woman’s baby? And somebody saw me do it, and thought it was disgusting, and blogged about it, and then everybody argued? Those were some good times. So good, that it seemed a really awesome idea to kick off the new year by looking back at that experience. [...]

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Bring Us Goodness And Light

December 20, 2010

I love Christmas. I love it with the fiery heat of a blazing winter fire and a million twinkling fairy lights. I love the sparkle and the twinkle and the plum pudding and the eggnog and the tinsel and the gift wrap and the stockings and the carols and the hymns and the stories, all [...]

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Dress Your Soul In Sparkles And Tutus

December 17, 2010

If you’ve ever wondered what it would look like if your very essence were distilled and bottled in a crystal decanter and then sniffed enthusiastically by a Celestial Soul Portrait artist who, becoming high on the fumes of your celestial essence, proceeded to Photoshop the shit out of a picture of you, well, wonder no [...]

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If A Christmas Tree Falls On Your Kid, And You Don’t Film It, Did It Happen?

December 13, 2010

I’m not a professional photographer. Nor am I professional filmmaker or documentarian. But I do tell stories, and a lot of those stories are about my kids, and telling stories about my kids involves using photographs and video. So I am, if you will, a Semi-Amateur Multimedia Documentary Artist and Chronicler Of Family Narratives, and [...]

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