fearless

Here Be Monsters. Or Dinosaurs. Also, Cookies.

April 13, 2010

(Hey, buddy. Why don’t you go ask your mom for some chocolate? Or cookies. Yeah. Go get some cookies, would you? Don’t make me roar. You don’t want me to roar.) Jasper is much more blase about scary things than am I. There’s a lesson for me there, I think. Whatever that lesson is, however, [...]

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It Suddenly Occurred To Me That I’m Not All That Brave

April 12, 2010

And then I admitted something in this post that I never thought I’d admit anywhere other than whispered, private conversations… … and I’m still pretty sure that I’m not nearly as brave as I need to be. Want to be. Need to be. Because I kind of want to take it back, even though I [...]

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Loved By The Sun

March 19, 2010

Here’s the thing: sometimes, when you drag ugly or frightening things into the light, the brightness of that light reveals those things to be smaller or less imposing or less threatening or less hideous than you’d thought when they’d been tucked away in the dark or lurking in your closet or under your bed or [...]

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When Life Hands You Lemons, Make A Yellow Tutu

March 12, 2010

This? This makes me cry. With joy. With grief. With gratitude. (You can join in too. I’d love it if you would. So would Tanner. Because it’s silly, and happy, and fun, and because it’s for him.)

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If Prayers Were Horses, Grievers Would Ride

March 11, 2010

Emilia wants to know what happens when we die. She asks a few times a week, on average, sometimes more, sometimes less, depending on whether or not we’ve spoken about my dad or about Tanner or about dinosaurs. Today, she asked because they’d been talking about the Easter story at school. She wanted to know [...]

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The Music From A Farther Room

March 1, 2010

I don’t quite know what to say about Joannie Rochette. I’ve been stunned by her bravery, humbled by her strength, amazed by her determination in the face such terrible sadness. When my father died, it was days before I could even walk in a straight line, weeks before I could hold myself reliably upright. After [...]

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Sweating The Small Stuff

February 25, 2010

Yesterday, Emilia brought home her very first report card. Emilia is four. Just yesterday she was in diapers and nursing and the only thing that anyone ever reported about her was quantity and quality of her bowel movements. How did we get to report cards? For the longest time, I couldn’t open it. I’m not [...]

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About Last Night

February 2, 2010

Jasper goes to playschool a couple of days a week. He loves it – loves it – and he knows exactly what days he’s scheduled to go. He toddles down the stairs on those mornings and heads straight for his coat and boots, which he tries to tug on over his pajamas. SKOO! (School!) he [...]

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I Love The Smell Of Activism In The Morning

January 29, 2010

Friday’s as good a good as any for promoting a cause, right? How about two? Cause #1: If you’re a Canadian woman, and you’ve had surgery, you might have been been given – while you were under anesthetic, without your knowledge, without your consent – a pelvic exam by medical students in training. It is, [...]

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A Good Birth

January 18, 2010

When I was pregnant with Jasper, I asked my doctor for a c-section. Can I have a c-section?, I asked. No, she said. I had been going through early labor for weeks. It was three weeks or so before my due date, but bio-physical ultrasounds were logging me at well over a week overdue based [...]

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