her bad pregnancy

White Flag

May 1, 2008

This is probably the last (intrauterine) picture of my boy: It’s not the best picture, not least because he’s a bit squished up in there and he wouldn’t hold still and so what might otherwise be a sweet sideways view of his wee face turned out to be a sweet sideways view of a wee [...]

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Mommy Dearest

April 29, 2008

My child hates me. Okay, maybe she doesn’t hate me, but I am certainly not her Most Favorite Person Ever. That title goes to HBF, aka Daddy, who can do no wrong. (Last night, at bedtime: “I love Daddy” “Of course you do, sweetie. Do you love Mommy?” “Nope. I love Daddy. And medicine.” Don’t [...]

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Evil Mom-Blogger Haters Sent Me Into Labor. Sort Of.

April 25, 2008

False labor. What the hell is up with that, seriously? It’s, like, the meanest trick that the gods have up their sleeves – save, say, giving a pregnant woman who is racked by both anxiety and extreme morning sickness walking pneumonia and her toddler an eye infection two days before they move house. Maybe. False [...]

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Seconds

April 21, 2008

In four weeks, give or take some days, I will give birth. To a baby. Another one. At this point in my first pregnancy, I was totally prepared for the arrival of the baby and for any and all potential natural disasters and had already moved on to alphabetizing the boxes of teas in the [...]

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Sammich, With Bevvies, To Go (A Urinary Tale)

April 13, 2008

“I no go pottie” “That’s fine. If you don’t have to go, that’s fine.” “I fine. I no have to go.” There’s a loud rip as the diaper is torn and yanked out from between her legs, and then a thud as it lands at my feet. “I no need diaper.” “I would rather you [...]

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Bad Mother Blues

April 11, 2008

I am having one of those days. Actually, it’s the second such day, which means that I have been having one of those days for about 24 hours too long now. I am having one of those days in which I do not like being a parent. And, also, one of those days in which [...]

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Pass The Smelling Salts

February 27, 2008

The thing about pregnancy? It is comparative, as a physical and emotional experience, to being drunk, 24-7. But it veers, sometimes dramatically, between different varieties of drunk: the kind of drunk that is just barely-buzzed-but-a-little-off-kilter drunk, the full-on-happy-buzz drunk, the ever-amusing wobbly-and-weepy-drunk, the inevitable crouched-over-the-toilet drunk, and – in its worst incarnations – the collapsed-on-the-floor-while-world-spins [...]

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Juno’s Choice

February 25, 2008

I’ll say this right up front: I haven’t seen the movie Juno. (I haven’t seen any other Oscar-nominated flick either, because big-screen movies are no longer a central part of my life experience, now that I am a mother and hiring a nanny for a night out costs a gajillion dollars that I would much [...]

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Cry Baby, Redux

January 18, 2008

Sometimes, you write something, and believe it to be, like, one-hundred and ten percent true – like, say, I cry so much because I am hormonal, and happy – and then, just hours later, you find yourself standing in the kitchenwares aisle at Zellers sobbing and whimpering, to no-one in particular, I am crying because [...]

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Sprout

November 19, 2007

Finally, finally, some evidence – for my own eyes – that this pregnancy is more than just nausea and vomiting and unremitting fatigue. Proof that there’s a there in there, and that there is occupied: That’s Super Sprout, and from the way that he or she is kicking my ass, Sprout is going to have [...]

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