jasper

Nothing Gold Can Stay

May 18, 2010

Jasper is two years old today. Two years old. It doesn’t seem possible that so much time has passed since he was born. It doesn’t seem possible that so little time has passed since he was born. It doesn’t seem possible that this baby… … this sweet-faced cherub with the heart-crunchingly dimpled cheeks…

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Somewhere, Cronenberg Is Wishing He’d Thought Of This First

May 4, 2010

It’s wonderful, of course, that Jasper’s daycare goes to the trouble of helping the toddlers make personalized Mother’s Day gifts, but one wonders whether they aren’t also trying to send us a vaguely threatening message. Or maybe it’s a cry for help. I’m not sure: Something along the lines of: every day after you drop [...]

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Here Be Monsters. Or Dinosaurs. Also, Cookies.

April 13, 2010

(Hey, buddy. Why don’t you go ask your mom for some chocolate? Or cookies. Yeah. Go get some cookies, would you? Don’t make me roar. You don’t want me to roar.) Jasper is much more blase about scary things than am I. There’s a lesson for me there, I think. Whatever that lesson is, however, [...]

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Where The Wild Fauxhemians Are

March 26, 2010

Jasper flees a hipster.*/** *I’ve tried to teach him that the correct course of action when approached by Hipsterus Indomitus is to drop to the ground and curl into the fetal position, protecting his belly and shielding his “I Don’t Know Who This Is” Che Guevara onesie from view, but clearly, he has his own [...]

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Sometimes, We Need Touch

February 22, 2010

I just spent a wonderful weekend in Houston, cavorting and plotting and reflecting and deep-thinking and giggling with some of the brightest and most brilliant and beautiful and bad-assed women on the interwebs. I left uplifted and inspired and more than a little in love with my community. Then Air Canada messed up my flight [...]

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This Is The Way The World Ends, Not With A Bang, But A Haircut

February 18, 2010

This boy? This wee, mop-headed baby boy is gone. With one careless, husband-directed trip to the hair salon, he is no more. He is now boy-boy. Again, only more so this time, so much more – I don’t know – Junior Banker, if Junior Bankers had front comb-overs, which I suppose some of them do:

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The Toddlerhood Of The Hands-Friendly Pants

February 6, 2010

Jasper is feeling better. Also, he has discovered the joy of shoving his hand down his pants. I feel much, much better – and am much more comfortable enjoying the camaraderie and awesome of Blissdom – and the Harry Connick Jr-ness of it all – knowing that Jasper is getting well, and that he finds [...]

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Guilt, Trip

February 3, 2010

I’d thought that I’d had my fill of beating myself up yesterday, what with blaming myself for Jasper’s pneumonia and all, but really, there’s no such thing as too much self-flagellation when you’re a mother, is there? After a brief flirtation with self-forgiveness that lasted, roughly, the duration of the season premiere of Lost, I’ve [...]

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About Last Night

February 2, 2010

Jasper goes to playschool a couple of days a week. He loves it – loves it – and he knows exactly what days he’s scheduled to go. He toddles down the stairs on those mornings and heads straight for his coat and boots, which he tries to tug on over his pajamas. SKOO! (School!) he [...]

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CBS Hates Babies. Pass It On.

January 31, 2010

I don’t know about you, but I think that my child makes a far slicker Horatio Caine than does David Caruso, who, let’s face it, is a hack. But CBS doesn’t care if my baby is an undiscovered Horatio Cane-impersonating genius, because CBS hates babies. Canadian babies, mostly, but also just babies, as a class, [...]

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