The Husband

Flying Without Wings

June 19, 2011

I can still remember, vividly, the day that my father taught me to ride a bicycle. We lived at the end of a quiet suburban street lined with cherry and dogwood trees, our house set back from the cul-de-sac by what seemed to me, at age 5, to be a very long and very wide drive, perfect for small bicycles, and my dad and I spent hours there together as I circled that drive, round and round and round, on my little bike with the big training wheels. On the day that the wheels came off, we left the security of that smooth-paved drive and went out onto the street.

Dad kept his hand on my back as I pedaled down the street, and he kept it there as I pedaled back up the street, and he kept there as I pedaled down again and up again and with every pass the pressure of his hand became lighter and lighter and lighter until suddenly I couldn’t feel it there anymore, and I was flying, all on my own, and I remember that moment, I remember it keenly, that moment of sudden, terrifying, exhilarating realization that I was on my own, that I was doing it on my own, that I could do it all on my own, and I turned my head to see where he was, and he was there, of course, just some distance back, smiling as wide as I would ever see him smile, thrilled, proud, because this was something we’d done together, this thing, this getting me to be able to do this all on my own, and he was prouder of me than I was of myself, and the cherry trees and the dogwood trees flashed by me as I sped along, not looking where I was going, and it was wonderful, wonderful. And then I crashed into the bushes on someone’s lawn, and I cried. Keep reading…

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Into The Wild

June 2, 2011

Here is what I’m worrying about today: 1) My husband has taken the children camping. 2) In a tent. 3) Without me. The camping itself isn’t worrying, I suppose. My parents took my sister and I camping all the time and it was awesome, and I love the idea of doing the same with my [...]

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Happy Birthday, Pass The Bail Money

August 1, 2010

It’s Kyle’s birthday today. I’m not going to tell you how old he is, because I think that he’s feeling a little weird about that, and if the 21st century has taught us anything, it’s that there’s nothing weirdmaking that can’t be made even more weirdmaking by being broadcast on the Internet. So. Emilia got [...]

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This Love

June 20, 2010

… is unparalleled. Happy Father’s Day, you. ***** (And for my dad, best of men, always loved, always missed, this.)

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Have Doritos, Will Travel

March 2, 2010

My husband made this commercial. It’s kind of what he does, but this is a little different, because it’s something that he did on his own, with a partner, instead of with a massive creative team and production company and crew of whomevers doing everything from pointing giant cameras to making sandwiches, and it’s for [...]

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Love In The Time Of Internet

February 15, 2010

My husband and I have been together for over seventeen years. That’s pretty much the entirety of my adult life, and almost half of my whole life so far. Hopefully, it’s only the beginning. Hopefully, we’ll both live long lives and will celebrate the births of grandchildren and maybe even great-grandchildren and those years of [...]

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If You Go Down To The Potty Today, You’re In For A Big Surprise

January 25, 2010

Text of e-mail: “What you can’t see is the epic turd. I spared you that. So the four year old sits on the John and reads Vanity Fair while dropping bombs.” This is what happens when I leave the house for the day. Everybody gets all up in the body art and then someone takes [...]

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Ceci N’est Pas Une Joke

January 19, 2010

This is what passes for humor in our house. You’ll be forgiven if you get confused and think you’ve stumbled onto rehearsals for a kindergarten performance of scenes from the works of Ionesco. Yeah. I didn’t get it either.

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Why I Love My Husband, Christmas Edition

December 22, 2009

Because, when I’m not looking, he makes our daughter a Christmas suit out of foil wrapping paper and dresses her in it. And then, suitably attired, they sit down for cocoa with marshmallows and smashed candy canes, and when I say to myself, this is golden, it is true both literally and figuratively. And my [...]

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July 31, 2009

I don’t say much about him, here. I wrote something about that, once: I don’t say much about my husband here, on the blog. He appears, now and again, a peripheral character in the stories that I tell. Sometimes, rarely, he comes to centre stage, as an antagonist or foil, in some adventure or misadventure [...]

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