The Husband

So Far Away From Me

September 22, 2011

It’s my anniversary today. My 15th anniversary. Yeah. We’ve been married a while. We’ve been together for pretty much the entirety of my adult life. We’ve been together for almost half of my entire life. That’s a long time. That’s something to celebrate, I think.

But I’m not at home. Well, I am at home, kind of, inasmuch as I almost live here, in New York. I got the keys to our apartment in New York – our home in New York - this morning, so, yeah, in certain very important ‘wherever I lay my hat and also most of my shoe collection’ respects, I’m home. But Kyle and the kids are not at that home, they’re at our other home, the one in Canada, which feels so far away this morning, so far away. Keep reading…

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Flying Without Wings

June 19, 2011

I can still remember, vividly, the day that my father taught me to ride a bicycle. We lived at the end of a quiet suburban street lined with cherry and dogwood trees, our house set back from the cul-de-sac by what seemed to me, at age 5, to be a very long and very wide [...]

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Into The Wild

June 2, 2011

Here is what I’m worrying about today: 1) My husband has taken the children camping. 2) In a tent. 3) Without me. The camping itself isn’t worrying, I suppose. My parents took my sister and I camping all the time and it was awesome, and I love the idea of doing the same with my [...]

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Happy Birthday, Pass The Bail Money

August 1, 2010

It’s Kyle’s birthday today. I’m not going to tell you how old he is, because I think that he’s feeling a little weird about that, and if the 21st century has taught us anything, it’s that there’s nothing weirdmaking that can’t be made even more weirdmaking by being broadcast on the Internet. So. Emilia got [...]

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This Love

June 20, 2010

… is unparalleled. Happy Father’s Day, you. ***** (And for my dad, best of men, always loved, always missed, this.)

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Have Doritos, Will Travel

March 2, 2010

My husband made this commercial. It’s kind of what he does, but this is a little different, because it’s something that he did on his own, with a partner, instead of with a massive creative team and production company and crew of whomevers doing everything from pointing giant cameras to making sandwiches, and it’s for [...]

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Love In The Time Of Internet

February 15, 2010

My husband and I have been together for over seventeen years. That’s pretty much the entirety of my adult life, and almost half of my whole life so far. Hopefully, it’s only the beginning. Hopefully, we’ll both live long lives and will celebrate the births of grandchildren and maybe even great-grandchildren and those years of [...]

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If You Go Down To The Potty Today, You’re In For A Big Surprise

January 25, 2010

Text of e-mail: “What you can’t see is the epic turd. I spared you that. So the four year old sits on the John and reads Vanity Fair while dropping bombs.” This is what happens when I leave the house for the day. Everybody gets all up in the body art and then someone takes [...]

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Ceci N’est Pas Une Joke

January 19, 2010

This is what passes for humor in our house. You’ll be forgiven if you get confused and think you’ve stumbled onto rehearsals for a kindergarten performance of scenes from the works of Ionesco. Yeah. I didn’t get it either.

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Why I Love My Husband, Christmas Edition

December 22, 2009

Because, when I’m not looking, he makes our daughter a Christmas suit out of foil wrapping paper and dresses her in it. And then, suitably attired, they sit down for cocoa with marshmallows and smashed candy canes, and when I say to myself, this is golden, it is true both literally and figuratively. And my [...]

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