When I received the call telling me that my father had died, I cried. I cried loud, I cried hard, I fell to the ground and clutched at my aching chest and I wailed. And then, curled up on the floor, phone in hand, I tweeted.

I tweeted because it was instinct. I tweeted because it was the only thing that I could think of to do. I tweeted because I needed to get the words that were reverberating in my head and smashing against the walls of my mind out out out and into the world so that I could step back and see them/hear them/feel them and know that they weren’t just the narrative of some nightmare conjured up by that corner of my soul that holds and nurtures its darkest fears. I needed to face the words, and know that they were true. I needed to take control of the narration of the terrible story that was unfolding. I needed to speak. I needed to write.

So I tweeted.

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Here I Come, A-Waffling

December 7, 2009

I’m stuck. I have a whole post, one that is already written, down to a word, in my head, one that is pounding against the binding of my brain and demanding to be released. It’s a post that I’ve had written for weeks, months, and that I’ve kept tucked away, unsure about whether or not [...]

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All The Blogs A Stage

October 23, 2009

It started as a discussion about Balloon Boy and reality television and the corruptive effects of the pursuit of fame and whether children should ever be compelled to live their lives as performances, the better to line the pockets of the entertainment industry, but it became a discussion about whether writers – memoirists, bloggers, whomever [...]

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October 21, 2009

My Dad, in another time, some time ago when he was still here and we could sit together and talk, or not talk , or (as I am doing in the background of this picture) read the paper and just not care about the passage of time because time always seems infinite until it’s gone [...]

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The First Thing We Do, Let’s Kill All The Reality Shows

October 19, 2009

Now that the whole bizarre, decidedly non-Roald Dahlian saga of The Boy Who Sailed Away In The Balloon has been examined, investigated, and revealed to be a hoax – a hoax designed for the seeming purpose of securing a reality television deal – we can get down to the important issues. For starters: finally admitting, [...]

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It’s My Story And I’ll Cry If I Want To

September 28, 2009

You need to get over this. I hope you’ll get over this and start writing about other stuff again soon. It’s terrible what happened, but you need to remember that there’s worse. You didn’t lose a child. Some people get hate mail. I get hate mail, but I also get mail of a slightly different [...]

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Shame And The Written Mom

March 13, 2009

Husband: “So, that whole thing, earlier this week? That made you a little crazy, didn’t it?” Me: “Yeah. Kinda.” Husband: “Why? Why did it bother you so much?” Me: “——-?” Me: “——-.” I tell stories for a living. Mostly, I tell my own stories, the stories of my motherhood, and reflections on same. I do [...]

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