My daughter is something of a storyteller. It's not that she lies; on the contrary, she is almost unbearably devoted to the truth, such that every single utterance made by anybody within earshot of...
Tomorrow, Emilia turns five.
Tonight, she said to me, "Mommy, tomorrow I will be five. I hope I don't toot at my party."
"Toot?"
"You know, when your poo blows, and it makes a noise."
"Oh."
"If I toot...