unicorns

Overheard, yesterday, in San Jose:

– My life, basically, is all about herding cats.

– Oh, really? How many cats do you have?

I had no idea that cat-ranching was an actual career path. Then again, maybe it’s just a Silicon Valley thing; you know, like how New Yorkers are all raising guinea fowl on their roofs and doing organic community farming, maybe cat-herding is the cool new hobby for tech entrepreneurs. You know, ranch the cats, collect their hairballs, develop oil-plugging technologies to deploy in future BP spills, that kind of thing. Something relaxing to do when they’re not coding porn apps. I’m totally jealous. Especially since I discovered that there’s no such thing as unicorn hobby farms. Cat-ranching could totally be my thing.

I freaking love Silicon Valley.

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Dress Your Soul In Sparkles And Tutus

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If you’ve ever wondered what it would look like if your very essence were distilled and bottled in a crystal decanter and then sniffed enthusiastically by a Celestial Soul Portrait artist who, becoming high on the fumes of your celestial essence, proceeded to Photoshop the shit out of a picture of you, well, wonder no [...]

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A Fart Is A Wish Your Bum Makes

November 13, 2010

Tomorrow, Emilia turns five. Tonight, she said to me, “Mommy, tomorrow I will be five. I hope I don’t toot at my party.” “Toot?” “You know, when your poo blows, and it makes a noise.” “Oh.” “If I toot at my party, I’m going to say that a unicorn did it.” That girl knows how [...]

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