Friday Miscellany

March 31, 2006

1. Further to Wednesday’s post

As Christina noted in her comments to that post, it is possible to argue that the most disturbing thing about Vogue’s ‘yummy mummy’ editorial spread is not the 90lb, 14 year old Eastern European model masquerading as a Southern California MILF, but rather the numerous examples of negligent parenting displayed throughout the spread. The ‘yummy mummy’ (for that is indeed how the photos are captioned) is shown, variously, feeding what looks to be a 9 month-old baby French fries, carting exposed baby around in full sunlight with no hat or sunshade, and jimmying a very flash Philippe Starck for Maclaren stroller onto an escalator. This, in addition to teetering precariously in four inch heels while clutching baby in open arms.

To which I can only say this: if these are the reproductive/childcare practices of Social X-rays/Extreme Fashion Victims, well, then, I guess that’s just Nature’s way of culling that particular herd.

2. Continuation of the same subject

In this same issue of Vogue – which is either trying to attract or repel (it’s not clear which) the elusive and possibly mythical Sophisticated Young Urban Mother market – you can also find a story about Melania Trump’s pregnancy and preparations for baby. In which you will be treated to a picture of a scantily-clad Mrs. Trump coated in gold paint. In case you were wondering, yes, gold paint applied to one’s skin is probably on the What to Expect When You’re Expecting list of Things to Avoid During Pregnancy. See above re: Social X-ray/Extreme Fashion Victim reproductive practices and the greater logic of Nature.

You will also discover in this artice that, in addition to resting his or her Trump-heir bottom upon mink coverlets lined with cashmere, Baby Trump will be inhabiting his or her own apartment in Trump Tower. Which leads me to surmise that not only are Mr. and Mrs. Trump not following the advice of the What to Expect books, they are not following Dr. Sears and will not be practicing Attachment Parenting.

Although maybe if Gucci made baby slings and there were such things as carved giltwood Louis XV co-sleepers… Nah. I didn’t really think so either.

But on to happier stories!

3. WonderBaby had her first non-booby meal this week! Delicious, delicious rice cereal, eaten with lovely plastic spoon!

It was beautiful. Mommy cried.

Aaaaand….

4. … WonderBaby is on the move!

WonderBaby and her court are currently excursing to the provinces to receive homage from her adoring subjects. Travel diary to be posted imminently…

OK, so it’s no tiara. But it’s still pretty freakin’ regal headgear.

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    { 13 comments }

    Kristen March 31, 2006 at 10:31 pm

    Are you going to send them a freaking letter? What a bunch of idiots.

    And seriously, the bubbles? I’m thinking kid n play. I love it.

    Bahar April 1, 2006 at 12:09 am

    ok. so the Trumps sleep in money, eat money and shower with money.

    You will raise a precious human being who will get to explore the world through the eyes of a smart and normal person. But them? They will raise a freak! They are freaks themselves (with their obsession with gold! what’s up with that?)

    You are an intelligent and amazing woman and a great mother. I wish I can say the same about myself when I am ready to have a baby.(which I hope it is in the next 4 years!)

    Cheers!

    littlepinkcar April 1, 2006 at 12:55 am

    Oh.
    My.
    Stars.

    Your kid is just over-the-moon cute! The bubble-head a la Marj Simpson is stinkin’ adorable.

    Love love love the blog. Puhlease, where do you teach? Teach Soc? Would love love love to sit in on one of your classes.

    Jezer April 1, 2006 at 9:10 am

    Good God, that little girl gets cuter and cuter with every freakin post!

    Oh, the Vogue…I was once a religious Harper’s Bazaar reader–that girl would be appalled at what I have become, but that’s OK. These days, when I don a pair of zip-up trousers and (barely) two-inch heels, I feel downright fashion maven-ish.

    Mom101 April 1, 2006 at 2:03 pm

    I’m pretty sure the photo spread was meant to be cheeky, intentionally depicting “bad mommy” stuff. Sadly, I doubt many of their readers are in on the joke.

    Meanwhile, as I type, I look up to see something or other on E! that shows Paris and Nicole on a photo shoot dressed in slutty housewife (yep) clothes and pushing prams. God help the children of this world.

    That bubble photo of your daughter is spectacular. That’s the one you’ll trot out for her dates to embarrass her silly.

    kittenpie April 1, 2006 at 2:10 pm

    love the pictures. I’m not usually one to gush over babies (I’m a freak for toddlers, myself) but she is lovely.
    So if the Trump baby has its own apartment, where does the nanny live? With it? Like they have their own place separate from the Donald and his latest, as if the nanny is the mommy? Oh wait, I bet she will be. Baby pooh doesn’t come in gold and would most certainly ruin the decor.

    sunshine scribe April 1, 2006 at 2:49 pm

    Why do I think that Trump is going to some how end up marketing and branding his baby? Ug

    Can I just say the bubbles shot of your outrageously adorable daughter is hysterical! CUTE!

    Christina April 1, 2006 at 9:17 pm

    Trump’s kid will turn out just like the Hilton sisters, I’m sure.

    Hooray for rice cereal! Cordelia hated it – she much preferred oatmeal. And the bath pic is way too stinkin’ cute!

    Mega Mom April 2, 2006 at 8:36 am

    You have to send that picture in to a contest somewhere. It is amazing!

    MrsFortune April 2, 2006 at 3:15 pm

    I love the photo, and this post cracked me up. I think Prada does make their own version of the Baby bjorn, and I’m almost positive Coach makes a bouncy seat. So those bases should be covered.

    scarbie doll April 3, 2006 at 1:27 pm

    Marge Simpson watch out!

    Kidding. She is adorable.

    Her Bad Mother April 6, 2006 at 9:10 am

    littlepinkcar – I teach political philosophy at the University of Toronto. It’s almost as much fun as wrangling WonderBaby.

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