The Bad Mommyblogger Purity Test

April 14, 2007

Greetings and salutations (first one to name the movie, the speaker of that line, and where I actually saw him in person – I’ll send you a mix CD). I’m Julie, and you can usually find me at mothergoosemouse. (Mix CD has been won by Amy Jo!)

It’s an honor to be here, trashing Her Bad Mother’s pristine blog with all of my trashiness. Frankly, I’m intimidated to be kicking off this burlesque show, as I’ve never even been in a wet t-shirt contest, let alone paraded across the stage of the Moulin Rouge wearing nothing but feathers. Consider me the little trick dog that amuses you. Kristen and Liz and Joy will be here with the feathers soon enough.

——————————

I grew up in the Midwest, and when we weren’t out tipping cows, we were busy raising our scores on the Purity Test (thereby lowering our Purity).

The Purity Test consisted of two tattered sheets of paper that had been copied and re-typed and copied again and folded up and shoved into the back pockets of innumerable pairs of jeans as it made its way around our high school several times over. The 100 questions on the test concerned sexual experimentation, drug and alcohol experimentation, and how much trouble you’d gotten into with both of those. Not only was it fun to assess just how far your own innocence had deteriorated, it was also pretty interesting to guess – based on your friends’ scores – in what ways THEIR innocence had deteriorated. That is, which questions they’d answered yes and which ones they’d answered no.

It’s been at least 15 years since I last took the Purity Test, and now that I’m over 21, with a husband and children, many of the questions seem…well, kind of boring.

But a Bad Mommyblogger Purity Test? Well, that’s another story altogether.

The Bad Mommyblogger Purity Test

Check all boxes for which your answer is “yes”.
The “submit” button is at the bottom.

  1. Do you have a blog?
  2. Have you been blogging for more than one year?
  3. Have you been blogging for more than five years?
  4. Do you contribute to more than two blogs?
  5. Do you contribute to more than five blogs?
  6. Do you comment on others’ blogs?
  7. When commenting, have you ever provided a fake name/fake e-mail?
  8. When commenting, have you ever flamed the blog owner?
  9. When commenting, have you ever flamed another commenter?
  10. Do you post unflattering tidbits about your spouse or SO?
  11. Do you post unflattering tidbits about your in-laws?
  12. Do you post unflattering tidbits about other bloggers?
  13. Did you go to BlogHer ’05?
  14. Did you go to BlogHer ’06?
  15. Did you go to BlogHer Business ’07?
  16. Are you going to BlogHer ’07?
  17. Do you write about poop?
  18. Do you write about pubes?
  19. Do you shave/wax/otherwise eliminate your pubes?
  20. Do you say “fuck” in your posts?
  21. Does your spouse or SO read your blog?
  22. Do your in-laws read your blog?
  23. Do your co-workers read your blog?
  24. Do your kids read your blog?
  25. Does your ex read your blog?

Leave your score in the comments!







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    { 73 comments }

    gingajoy April 15, 2007 at 7:12 pm

    it appears I have TONS of sinning left to do. I will proceed this week–on THIS blog. hehehe

    I am a neophyte! Let the inlaws and husband bashing BEGIN!

    (fun, julie!)

    Magpie April 15, 2007 at 8:13 pm

    80.0% pure: Quite the neophyte. I guess I’m too nice?

    Chas April 15, 2007 at 9:38 pm

    I’m 84% Pure…it says I’m not mommyblogger…but I know I am :) .

    crazymumma April 15, 2007 at 9:57 pm

    24%

    Guess I’m not the badass i thought i ws.

    sigh.

    many miles to go before I sleep.

    Poppy April 15, 2007 at 10:12 pm

    76% pure here.

    *adjusts halo*

    hee

    Leah April 15, 2007 at 11:54 pm

    Miss-goody-two-clicks at 72%. A may think I am raising kane, but apparently I am not.

    Gwen April 16, 2007 at 12:19 am

    Well here are my results:

    You answered “yes” to 6 of 25 questions, making you 76.0% Bad Mommyblogger pure (24.0% Bad Mommyblogger corrupt); that is, you are 76.0% pure in the Bad Mommyblogger domain (your Badness is 24.0%).
    According to the scoring guide, your Bad Mommyblogger experience level is: Quite the neophyte, aren’t you? Lots of Badness to go, my friend.

    And I could agree, but it leaves the question, if you blog about your step-mother and not your in-laws does it count for badness? I also blog about baby crack,but I guess that isn’t the same thing. Just wait I will start flaming the relatives soon. :)

    Reesh April 16, 2007 at 12:44 am

    32% bad – which isn’t all that bad I suppose. I know I’m not really bad in a “cool” way – and I’m okay with that. So 32% bad is awesome dude!

    TSM-terrifically superiorily mediocre April 16, 2007 at 2:22 am

    56% pure? Who am I kidding?

    Jodi April 16, 2007 at 8:34 am

    You answered “yes” to 4 of 25 questions, making you 84.0% Bad Mommyblogger pure (16.0% Bad Mommyblogger corrupt); that is, you are 84.0% pure in the Bad Mommyblogger domain (your Badness is 16.0%).
    According to the scoring guide, your Bad Mommyblogger experience level is: Hell, you ain’t no Mommyblogger…let alone a Bad one.

    I’m not sure if I should be proud or dissapointed. I clearly have some more blogging to do.

    Robbin April 16, 2007 at 10:57 am

    Only 28% Badness. Practically virginal. I was a good-two-shoes in high school, too.

    Colleen April 16, 2007 at 4:46 pm

    Only 36% badness. Guess I’m making up for all that shit I did in high school. My poor mother! I’m sure my daughter will dish it all back to me. In SPADES.

    Damselfly April 16, 2007 at 10:04 pm

    Only 32% bad! That means I’m not half bad! Har!

    Actually, if your spouse *doesn’t* read your blog, doesn’t that make you more bad. e.g., he doesn’t even know that you blog?

    ewe are here April 17, 2007 at 8:04 am

    80% pure…. typical … sigh.

    ;-)

    Mayberry April 17, 2007 at 2:42 pm

    60% pure – I’m surprised it’s that low! Big nerd over here!

    domestika April 17, 2007 at 2:57 pm

    Practically a virgin (72% of one anyway) – sorry, dears, I can’t possibly take the time to leave a thoughtful and interesting comment – must rush off and figure out how to bring up (down?) that score without (a) doing a convention, or (b) emailing my url to an ex or twelve…

    Girl con Queso April 18, 2007 at 12:11 am

    32% bad. I’m so freaking pure. Gag.

    tracey April 18, 2007 at 1:14 am

    I am 78% pure and proud of it. Kind of. And I had to look up the word neophyte so does that also make me 78% dumb? Crap.

    Ruth Dynamite April 18, 2007 at 9:32 am

    Let it be known that Ruth Dynamite is pure as the driven snow. (7/25)

    So bad she appears good.

    blackbeltmama April 18, 2007 at 9:08 pm

    32%- a long way to go indeed.

    Vikki April 19, 2007 at 10:26 am

    I’m a lesbo mommyblogger and 64% pure. Tell that to Focus on the Family.

    Angelika April 20, 2007 at 3:44 pm

    88.0% Bad Mommyblogger pure.

    I don’t really consider myself a “Mommy Blogger”. I just happen to be a mom.

    And I don’t have any in-laws, thank God. LMAO!

    Kind of Crunchy Mama April 28, 2007 at 11:22 am

    80% pure. I’ve a long way to go :-D

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