Bad, Bad, Bad, Bad Day

July 13, 2007

WonderBaby’s Countdown to Friday the Thirteenth:

1) Sob throughout afternoon at daycare. Sob when Mommy comes to pick you up. Shout NO at daycare lady when she says see you tomorrow.

2) Blow kiss at daycare lady, to take the sting out of the NO. Kiss Mommy, then smack her on the head for having left you at daycare in the first place.

3) Arrive home. Ask for Daddy. Accept cookie in place of Daddy. Throw cookie at Mommy.

4) Ask for ice cream. Refuse ice cream, to f*ck with Mommy’s head.

5) Lay on floor and emit extreme heat.

6) Watch Mommy freak out while she calls TeleHealth and tries to find rectal thermometer. RECTAL THERMOMETER. Change mind about ice cream.

7) Attempt to reduce temperature through force of will. Fail. Cry POO! throughout temperature-taking procedure. Accept cherry-flavoured Tylenol drops as compensation for violation of person.

8) Demand to know where Daddy is. Ask to be given bath by Daddy. Ask to be put to bed by Daddy. Refuse comfort from rectal-thermometer-toting-daycare-abandoning-Daddy-withholding Mommy.

9) Rejoice in arrival of Daddy. Fall limply into his arms and communicate telepathically about the torture that Mommy has forced you to endure.

10.) Whimper, to underscore your point.

11.) Permit Daddy to put you to bed. Refuse bedtime kisses from Mommy. Watch impassively as Mommy crumbles to pieces from fear and guilt.

12.) Sleep. Let body cool. Do not stir when Mommy comes in to take temperature with kisses.

13.) Awaken to Friday. Commence crying.

Happy Friday the Thirteenth.

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    Dawn July 13, 2007 at 12:05 pm

    I am hoping that Wonder Mama had a glass of wine after wards.

    We all have these days.

    Thank the Gods for Tylenol

    Beck July 13, 2007 at 12:08 pm

    Sick babies are the terribly not fun. And I’ve had that sudden clutch of fear and guilt SO many times – like when my daughter spent the afternoon at school WITH A BROKEN ARM.
    That was the school’s fault. Still felt bad.

    Magpie July 13, 2007 at 12:14 pm

    Poor baby. Hope she’s not STILL crying.

    Nicole July 13, 2007 at 12:15 pm

    My 6 month old has the same cold I have right now and it is so not fun. I tried to suck out his nose yesterday and it was like a boxing match, not to mention that I actually got one of those silent screams from the ordeal. How do you explain to a 6 month old that he can’t eat if he can’t breath through his nose?

    I feel your pain.

    slouching mom July 13, 2007 at 12:15 pm



    There’s always this: at least it’s a wonderful photo of Baby-A-Bit-Lacking-In-Wonder-Temporarily-Of-Course.

    Sue at nobaddays July 13, 2007 at 12:26 pm

    I’m thinking our kids are twins, separated at birth. Same thing going on in our house.

    Redneck Mommy July 13, 2007 at 12:37 pm

    You are making me rethink this whole toddler adoption thing all over…

    I had sort of forgot about the lemon chucking at momma’s head.

    Aw, screw it. I’ve become rather adept at dodging things my kids toss at me.

    What’s one more added to the mix?

    former dyspeptic of middle european stock and still blogless in these blogful times July 13, 2007 at 12:42 pm

    If it’s any consolation, I have colleagues in their 40s who do the same thing. You should see them in department meetings, the difference being that they can articulate, so to speak. Petulant? You bet.

    Antique Mommy July 13, 2007 at 12:55 pm

    Oh now, throwing cookies at your head is just her way of saying, gee you’re swell.

    Her Bad Mother July 13, 2007 at 1:02 pm

    Antique Mommy – that, or her way of saying, gee, your head makes a nice target.

    Karen Rani July 13, 2007 at 1:05 pm

    Do you ever get anywhere with TeleHealth? Every time we call, we’re on hold for 30 minutes only to to be told, “If you feel you need to, then please head to your ER.” SO unhelpful.
    Here’s hoping Wonderbaby is feeling better very soon!

    Her Bad Mother July 13, 2007 at 1:10 pm

    Karen: that was exactly why I hung up after ten minutes. Cuz we done been there. Called Women’s College instead – they were more helpful.

    Baby in Broad July 13, 2007 at 1:11 pm

    If you had to have something thrown at your head…at least it was a cookie? OK, not helping.

    MotherBumper July 13, 2007 at 1:13 pm

    I just commenced crying (for you).

    mothergoosemouse July 13, 2007 at 1:32 pm

    All the heaping of affection on Daddy, with reproachful looks flung at Mommy now and then – sounds wa-a-ay too familiar.

    I hope the day improves as it wears on (and on…and on…)

    mcewen July 13, 2007 at 1:39 pm

    As we ALL know, this is one of the many fringe benefits of motherhood. Somehow, it makes the option of a cell/cube in an air conditioned office seem all the more attractive.
    Best wishes and hopes for a speedy recovery.

    Tracey July 13, 2007 at 2:02 pm

    Poor mama! How’s she feeling now? Temp down? I HATE sick babies. They are so pathetic and scary. If they just had a flashing sign on their forehead that said “do not freak out, just a cold” or “take me to the e.r. NOW” then life would be so much easier.

    kittenpie July 13, 2007 at 2:03 pm

    Misterpie got called to pick up Pumpkinpie from daycare yesterday too, as she was just kind of… limp. Not herself. Seemed okay this morning though, jumping back and forth over her floor puzzle.

    nomotherearth July 13, 2007 at 2:10 pm

    Telehealth always makes me feel/worry that there is something much more wrong with the Boy than there actually is. I balk at calling them every time.

    If it makes you feel better, the Boy spend about 85% of his time with me saying “I want my daddy”, or “Where my daddy is?”

    The best (BEST) investment we ever made was the digital ear thermometer. Can’t say enough good things about it.

    Hope WB is feeling better today!

    kgirl July 13, 2007 at 2:14 pm

    you know, i have never been able to bring myself to use a rectal thermometer, and it’s not like any of the others would work real well on a small child, so i have NEVER actually taken my kid’s temperature (at least, at all accurately).

    And don’t worry; I hear that Friday the 13ths are the exclusive domains of the mamas.

    Phoenix July 13, 2007 at 2:33 pm

    Poor WonderBaby and poor, poor you. *Hands wine through puter. It may help.*

    I hope she’s back to her crazy self soon. A mommy lovin phase too.

    bubandpie July 13, 2007 at 2:59 pm

    It’s Friday the 13th!

    Thanks you so much for pointing that out. Seriously. I was just reflecting that it’s been a long time since I’ve had such a bad morning with Bub (mainly). Now it all becomes clear.

    flutter July 13, 2007 at 3:10 pm

    Ahhh the 13th cometh. I felt so bad for the POO!

    Catherine July 13, 2007 at 3:16 pm


    Yes, I know those feelings. And if only she had been awake in the middle of the night the day before to know how much you were longing for and missing her….

    The torture of parenthood is that, having discovered at last how our parents felt, we are now raising children who won’t know this themselves for 30 years.

    Dana J. Tuszke July 13, 2007 at 3:46 pm

    I hate when the toddler asks for his Daddy. It’s like he’s purposely trying to hurt me. The little punk.

    Veronica July 13, 2007 at 3:49 pm

    I have been going through the same thing with my older two. The only difference is they treat Daddy like the ice cream: “Want Daddy!” Here’s Daddy. “No Daddy! Go ‘way, Daddy!”

    I figure as long as their heads don’t actually spin around while they’re vommiting, we’ll make it through.

    WI Mommy July 13, 2007 at 3:53 pm

    How do they get so good at the guilt trip thing at such a young age???

    Jenifer July 13, 2007 at 4:04 pm

    Rosebud has an ear infection, she is the flower girl in a large wedding tomorrow, she barely napped today. I understand, I really do.

    ~JJ! July 13, 2007 at 4:33 pm

    Hmmm. sounds like fun!

    Hope she’s feeling better…

    former dyspeptic of middle european stock and still blogless in these blogful times July 13, 2007 at 4:45 pm

    It’s curious yet incredibly frustrating how children don’t want to be consoled by one parent and favour the other — petulance comes with fever. You have the patience of Job. I hope that she gets better soon!

    ewe are here July 13, 2007 at 5:29 pm

    Children are funny little things sometimes. I never quite understand why I sometimes suddenly become ‘evil Mommy’ and he only wants Daddy at the end of the day, even when it’s been a really good day!

    I hope she’s feeling better — and you, too.

    Kyla July 13, 2007 at 5:33 pm

    Awwww. Poor WB! And poor you, too. Hope she is feeling better soon.

    ewe are here July 13, 2007 at 5:33 pm

    Oh — and I just read this entire post to my husband. And his response(besides laughing) was to say ‘ See. It’s not just you who’s being tortured by their toddler! Don’t you feel better?’

    Julie Pippert July 13, 2007 at 5:46 pm

    Ohhhh…she’s SICK!

    Mine acts like that on a regular day. ;)

    Hope the sickies depart swiftly. Otherwise, in my non-medical advice, medicate medicate medicate. :)

    Jenifer July 13, 2007 at 8:40 pm

    Oh no… I hate it when my kids are sick…. te control freak in me has a real problem with not being immediately able to DO SOMETHING to fix it!

    Heather July 13, 2007 at 8:50 pm

    Hey, at least she had the excuse that she’s sick. My kids throw things at me and would rather have Daddy every day. It’s a wonderful life I lead.

    Jennifer aka Binky Bitch July 13, 2007 at 10:09 pm

    I’m at the bottom of my son’s totem pole everyday. Kills me.

    Hope you had a drink or 7 after your bad day. Hope Wonder baby is now on the mend…along with your heart.

    Sandra July 14, 2007 at 5:05 am

    Oh poor sweet thing.

    You and her.

    Hang in there my friend.

    Nancy July 14, 2007 at 8:31 am

    Poor Mommy. Those days are very rough.

    I hope your Saturday the Fourteenth will be better.

    wordgirl July 14, 2007 at 10:37 am

    Well…as long as her head didn’t spin completely around on her neck I’m guessing she’ll be okay soon. The Tylenol kicking in was a good sign because I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work on demon possession. Poor Mommy! Poor Wonderbaby!

    Christine July 14, 2007 at 10:47 am

    poor baby! poor you!

    hope the baby gets better very soon. . .

    Animal July 14, 2007 at 1:31 pm

    Having read your last two blogs in reverse-order, I really appreciated the difference of Wednesday’s sweetness contrasted with Friday’s outrage.


    Hope she’s feeling better.

    Emily July 14, 2007 at 5:04 pm

    Oh, without a doubt, Mommy is always the Complaints Department.

    jen July 14, 2007 at 5:21 pm

    raising a glass to the future, our future, of twos and threes.

    Christina July 14, 2007 at 7:37 pm

    That would explain those calls to Canada on our phone bill. Sorry, Cordy must have been sharing her best mommy-guilt inducing tips with WB.

    The Blithe Babbler July 15, 2007 at 9:13 am

    Ooh, I’ve had those days. We seemed to have escaped the curse of the Friday 13th and had quite a lovely day, but the evening of the 12th? Torture.

    Hope your weekend has been better, and WB is back to her usual wonder-self.

    NoMommy July 15, 2007 at 12:26 pm

    Isn’t it amazing how quickly they go from sweet and cuddly Wednesday to who are you and where is the parent I REALLY want Friday. I guess it is just a small reassurance to know that it sounds like everyone gets it from time to time. Hope she’s feeling better.

    QofS July 15, 2007 at 12:46 pm

    I know this baby. I’ve met this baby. This baby lives in MY house too.

    Clone baby. Evil cloning baby.

    Bon July 15, 2007 at 1:23 pm

    late to this, but still giggling. with great sympathy for poor, rejected, lemon mommy.

    apparently Wonderbaby passed her entire condition – misery and love of Daddy – on to our house for the weekend. :)

    please thank her.

    Fairly Odd Mother July 15, 2007 at 2:30 pm

    They just know how to stick a dagger in your heart, don’t they? Rest assured, you will be her ‘one and only’ soon enough.

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