In The Bag

August 9, 2007

Edited to include more! bags! (Tell me what’s in your bag and I’ll add it, too.)

This is my bag:

Notice that I do not call it a purse. That is because, like my dear friend Katie, I do not like the word purse.

(I also do not like the word moist, which is why you will never see any discussion of Duncan Hines products in this space.)

Anyway, back to my bag: it contains my life, or at least a good portion of it. And seeing what’s inside might tell you a little somehing about that life. So…

My life, as summarized by the contents of my bag:

1: Canadian passport, expired. (I am Canadian, and I have limited life skills.)

2 & 21: Blog propaganda. (Am a blogger, and a shameless propagandist.)

3: Blog propaganda upon which I exploit the image of my child. (Am a blogger, a shameless propagandist and a bad mother.)

4: PunditMom’s magnet. (I like PunditMom, and magnets.)

5: Child’s pink foil party hat. (My child likes to party.)

6: Bliss toiletries, appropriated from W Hotel Chicago. (Have good taste in toiletries and was recently in Chicago. And, have no moral qualms about petty thievery.)

7: Chamomile tea. (I get hangovers.)

8: Moneys. (Have moneys. Not a lot.)

9: iPod Nano, battery dead, earphones missing. (I like music, but not enough to keep iPod battery charged. Also, I lose things. See above re: limited life skills.)

10: Hand sanitizer. (Have post-partum germophobia.)

11: Key to the Doors Of Perception. (Your call.)

12 & 13: Moleskine notebook and pocket Gertrude Stein. (Am snooty intellectual.)

14 & 15: Grooming products. (Am snooty intellectual who nonetheless values grooming, and lipgloss.)

16: Wooden ring of unknown use and origin; not what you think, dirty people. (Have wooden ring; collect random junk; have dirty mind.)

17: Chocolate coin. (Hope to one day travel to Chocolatlandia, where I intend to purchase goods and services.)

18: House key, not my own. (Have lost my keys. But have completely useless back-up key, so no worries! I’ll just climb in and out of windows!)

19: Half-eaten digestive biscuit. (Have child who is ambivalent about digestive biscuits. Also, am averse to wastage, but not averse to eating old biscuits.)

20: Sub-bag, pink, for carrying moneys and credit cards. Not wallet. Sub-bag. (Have issues about naming accessories. Also, have credit cards. Am grown-up, sort of.)

22: Half-eaten Crayons. (Child eats crayons. I feed child crayons. See above re: bad mother.)

23 & 24: WonderBaby’s bag du jour, featuring cowboy image, containing rocks. (Child likes bags, and cowboys and rocks. Also, child makes this mother carry bag of rocks. This mother is child’s bitch.)

What’s in your bag? (If you do a picture, leave a comment or link to me so that I can find it.) (I like snooping in other peoples’ bags. Like Katie’s: check hers out here.)

More bags! Check out Kgirl’s bag here, Heather/Cool Zebra’s bag here, Alley Cat’s bag here, aaaand some Blog Blah Blah bag right here.

More! MORE BAGS! Check les sacs du…

MamaT

Sassafrass

Laural Dawn

Mothergoosemouse

Perpetual Exhaustion

Girl’s Gone Child

MamaTulip

Whoorl

NoBadDays

Flutter

Maman Des Filles

Just Scribbling

Blithely Babbling

Velocibadgergirl

Damselfly

Kyla

Tere

I Can Fly, Just Not Up

No Mother Earth

Amy-Jo/Cheese Party

Ewe Are Here

Notes Of A Full-Time Mom

Jezer

The Maya’s Mom List

Unfit Mother

Mommy’s Dirty Secret

Have I missed anybody? Got a link to add? Let me know!

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    { 95 comments }

    Mimi August 9, 2007 at 12:17 pm

    it would be easy enough to take a picture of the contents of my bag, because Munchkin’s unwinding routine after daycare involves methodically removing every. single. item. from my computer bag. And then putting random stuff back in.

    you have chocolate in your purse? that’s not eaten?

    Her Bad Mother August 9, 2007 at 12:32 pm

    You didn’t see the shadow of the chocolate that had already been eaten? Won’t turn up in a picture if it’s in my tummy.

    Besides, as I said, if I ever get to Chocolatlandia, I’m going to need moneys, no? Be prepared.

    Heather August 9, 2007 at 12:55 pm

    I carry small bags so all that is in mine is a wallet, two checkbooks, epipen shot, pen, cell phone, and lipstick. Very boring stuff in my bag!

    flutter August 9, 2007 at 12:56 pm

    ooo I did this one too, I love this it feels so voyeuristic. I am also a nonlover of the word moist. I also cannot stand savory or vaginal. blech.

    radical mama August 9, 2007 at 1:06 pm

    It would not be worth a picture. Wallet, keys, cell phone (if I remember it). Sometimes, an ink pen. But I am not usually that prepared.

    Now, my diaper bag contents? That would take up several square feet. I’m a little afraid of what I might find in its dark corners. Ew.

    Bobita~ August 9, 2007 at 1:26 pm

    I’m all over this one! (And am somewhat embarrassed to admit that these kinds of things delight me to no end.)

    kgirl August 9, 2007 at 1:28 pm

    Yes, love this! I mentioned at MB’s that I think Sassy used to do a feature on dissecting random girls’ bag. Let’s resurrect for sure. My huge hippie sack is going public.

    Lady M August 9, 2007 at 1:42 pm

    ooooh, this is great! I love bag snooping. The one I carry the most is actually a soft briefcase, it’s painfully full.

    KrisUnderwood August 9, 2007 at 1:43 pm

    Yes, for some reason, I too cannot call my lovely bag ‘purse’. Don’t know what it is…maybe it is too ‘girly’ for me? I don’t know.

    What’s in my bag? keys, LOTS of scrap paper (for scribbling upon of course), Sunglasses, wallet, baby’s sunglasses, about 20 different pens. chapstick, a ring, mints, cell phone…….lots of other stuff….

    motherbumper August 9, 2007 at 1:44 pm

    Chocolatlandia! That is SO OUR NEXT ROADTRIP! But I think we would probably eat all the currency before getting across the border. And then we would probably eat the border guard (cos he’d be made of chocolate), and then we’d be deported for eating lamp posts. [note we'd be deported for the lamp posts, not the worker b/c I've heard it's like Michigan where they pay you to maim and kill their road workers]. But regardless of the punishments we certainly would accrue, it’s a risk I’m willing to take.

    And OMG your purse is like an archive of the past two weeks.

    mothergoosemouse August 9, 2007 at 1:46 pm

    I wonder what sort of services they provide in Chocolatlandia. I think I will have lots of fun daydreaming about that today.

    Kyla August 9, 2007 at 1:46 pm

    You are your bag, HBM. Excellent.

    Jonathon Morgan August 9, 2007 at 1:49 pm

    I just had to add — I have an actress friend who used to have a phobia about the word “purse.” She couldn’t say it, and had a very tough time hearing it.

    So I wrote it into the script we were rehearsing. FUN TIMES.

    dana August 9, 2007 at 1:50 pm

    I’ve got too much junk in my bag.

    I’ll have to do this!

    slouching mom August 9, 2007 at 1:50 pm

    I love number five. Cuz you never know when you might need to pull out a party hat.

    Party hats defuse most any situational tension, I find. ;)

    T. August 9, 2007 at 1:57 pm

    Seriously – I hate the word moist too…my god.. another word hater…and I thought I was the only one.

    Lawyer Mama August 9, 2007 at 2:00 pm

    One of my dearest friends cannot stand the word moist. It grosses her out entirely. So, of course, I must endlessly torture her by putting moist into my conversation as much as possible. We even had a game in law school where, while the professors were employing the Socratic method, we would be awarded points based on the number of times we could work “moist” into our answers. You would have hated us.

    But at least I can tell Tiffany she’s not alone!

    nomotherearth August 9, 2007 at 2:03 pm

    Wow, this is too interesting to pass up. I may have to try it myself. Sadly though, my “bag” is not nearly as representative as yours. Or maybe it is…which is doubly sad.

    Mrs. Chicken August 9, 2007 at 2:16 pm

    I despise the word “moist.” Pair it with “tip,” and you have the most disgusting combination in all language.

    andi August 9, 2007 at 3:11 pm

    I loathe the word “purse” also. Whenever I hear it, I always think of that Seinfeld episode where Jerry is carrying one and he defends it by shouting, “It’s not a purse! It’s European.”

    karla August 9, 2007 at 3:18 pm

    Oh my goodness. There once was a time that I carried expensive mascara and concealer a credit card to rack up a bar bill, but these days, my bag doubles as a diaper bag and now you will probably find one too many walmart receipts for diapers and wipes and spare diapers and a clip to tie back my dishelleved hair so my son stops pulling it.

    kittenpie August 9, 2007 at 3:29 pm

    Hee hee. I kinda like the word moist. it has a satifyingly squishy sound that makes it perfect for dryly understating the fact that, say, your shoes are sopping wet and your feet are squishing in puddles.

    Anyhow, my PURSE is much bigger and fuller. I might not be able to do this, in fact. It’s akin to a suitcase right now because I haven’t emptied it in a month or two and it is rather, um, vast.

    And probably contains some rocks, since we are really into rocks in our house, too. We have a collection that numbers just under 100 at press time.

    Awesome Mom August 9, 2007 at 3:32 pm

    That is an iPod Shuffle not a Nano. :P I am not a bag person, so I have a wallet and use my pockets to carry stuff. I only drag out the diaper bag for long trips.

    Phoenix August 9, 2007 at 3:38 pm

    Mmmmm, cake.

    I kinda like this meme, I may do it. You have a ton of shit…stuff in your purse…um bag. Sorry, I have no word issues. But I love that you do.

    something blue August 9, 2007 at 3:49 pm

    Oops, I already did this before we left for Chicago. I guess I’m just ahead of my time. Plus now I’m too afraid to venture into my Flat Bag. There is likely something moist in there.

    Selfmademom August 9, 2007 at 4:15 pm

    First of all, your bag is fabulous. Second of all, I hate hate the word moist. Third of all, my favorite thing in my bag is this little pink pig on a key chain I got a Bed Bath and Beyond that oink oinks and flashes when you push it. It works wonders with a 16-month-old during lunch.

    Her Bad Mother August 9, 2007 at 4:31 pm

    ‘Moist’ and ‘tip’ together are not nearly so gross and ‘moist’ and ‘crotch.’

    Alley Cat August 9, 2007 at 4:33 pm

    I hate the word, “engorged”.

    I dumped my purse for you. Feel free to take a peek.

    V-Grrrl August 9, 2007 at 5:39 pm

    All these years and I never knew that “wallet,” “purse,” and “moist” were Bad Words.

    I feel a post germinating from this newfound Badness….

    Stimey August 9, 2007 at 5:44 pm

    Addition to bad words: “Slacks.” Really, can’t we just call them pants?

    Ruth Dynamite August 9, 2007 at 8:05 pm

    I have not one but TWO little plastic pill boxes with Amy Sedaris’ picture on them that read “Pee on Me” and on the inside they say “loser.”

    At the time, I was hysterical and thought “Who wouldn’t want one of these?” Now they lurk in a side pocket of my bag, waiting for just the right moment to make an appearance. Shhhh.

    mamatulip August 9, 2007 at 8:44 pm

    When you go to Chocolatlandia, can I come too?

    Major Bedhead August 9, 2007 at 9:39 pm

    C’mon. Where’s the crumbs and the snotty tissues and the gum wrapper with chewed gum in it? Tsk. I do believe that you fluffed your stuff before photographing.

    I need a handbag fluffer. Mine would scare the bejesus out of most people.

    moosh in indy. August 9, 2007 at 9:40 pm

    wholesome and hearty.
    gross.

    Damselfly August 9, 2007 at 9:55 pm

    I’m still wondering about that party hat. Am I supposed to be carrying that in my pur– er, bag?

    myminivanisfasterthanyours August 9, 2007 at 11:15 pm

    I bought a smaller purse so I wouldn’t carry so much stuff around with me all the time. So now I have like 22 sippy cups crammed into that small purse. I’m a genius, for sure.

    Heather August 9, 2007 at 11:31 pm

    Here’s a link to what my purse held last year:

    http://coolzebras.blogspot.com/2006/09/pocketbook-uncensored.html

    Heather August 10, 2007 at 12:02 am

    I did a post like this (except not nearly so witty) almost a year ago.

    Also, I called it my purse. D’oh!

    I guess I am not averse to the word purse.

    Here’s what was in my bag.

    Her Bad Mother August 10, 2007 at 12:08 am

    Bedhead, you just can’t see the crumbs. They’re there, alongside the cat hair.

    Heather August 10, 2007 at 12:09 am

    Reading back through the comments and seeing the words “crotch” and “moist” reminds me that I learned a delightfully disgusting and raunchy Aussie slang word when I was reading Cloudstreet by Tim Winton (a gift from an Aussie friend) last night.

    And that word was? Crotchpong. As in, “Her swimsuit smelled of her hammy crotchpong.”

    Gross, no? Kinda makes “moist” and “tip” seem benign, huh?

    *and yes, I know this comment relates to this post really not at all except that I am very susceptible to flight of ideas and somehow from “moist” I ended up at crotchpong*

    I’m going away now. I promise.

    Lisa b August 10, 2007 at 12:25 am

    Pocket Gertrude Stein. Seems so obvious to me now that you would have this.
    If I can find my purse we are going public!

    Blog Antagonist August 10, 2007 at 1:43 am

    I have a huge bag and could quite easily live out of it for a day or two. Today, in a tizzy, I went off with nothing but my wallett, and felt, quitel literally, as if a part of me had been amputated.

    I don’t like the word “slither”.

    jen August 10, 2007 at 2:00 am

    your bag is much more exciting than my bag any day of the week.

    SoundHunter August 10, 2007 at 2:05 am

    I too..HATE HATE HATE the word moist. Hate it. Worst word ever.

    jchevais August 10, 2007 at 5:10 am

    My canadian passport is expired too. gar. I hate going to the Canadian Embassy in Paris which is why I still haven’t renewed it.

    I sort of realised that this sort of makes me stuck here…

    phenom August 10, 2007 at 7:58 am

    Many of you will be happy to learn that hatred of the word “moist” made it to TV-land. The mom on the Showtime series Dead Like Me hated the word “moist”.

    I’m indifferent.

    ~JJ! August 10, 2007 at 8:49 am

    Very cool contents…

    I may have to reprise this idea just for you…we’ll see.

    kgirl August 10, 2007 at 8:55 am

    I did it! And I hate the phrase ‘make love.’

    Her Bad Mother August 10, 2007 at 9:11 am

    ‘Babydance’ is worse than ‘make love,’ IMO. But ‘make love’ does call to mind middle-aged hippy men drenched in patchouli, so yeah: UCK.

    BOSSY August 10, 2007 at 9:17 am

    Pathetically Bossy calls her purse her “diaper bag”. Despite the fact that her youngest is a decade removed from diapers and Bossy has purchased many lovely handbags since, she can’t break this habit.

    What’s in it? Shit.

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