Please Stand By…

August 4, 2007

… while Her Bad Mother pulls herself out of the dank purgatory that is Very Unpleasant Viral Illness (a state that was no doubt entered into as a result of, as Her Bad Mother’s mother would claim, “too much excitement,” a condition that can also lead to Ill Temper and Very Bad Sugar Headaches.)

If anyone knows of any remedies for throats that feel as though they’ve been razed by barbed wired and ears that feel as though they’ve been stuffed with exploding zeppelins – remedies that do not involve anything hot and steamy (it currently being far too hot and steamy in the tropics of Toronto for anything that is not iced) (is there such a thing as an iced chicken-soupiccino?) – please do share.

Thank you.

Cue Muzak…

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    ewe are here August 4, 2007 at 3:59 pm

    Iced gingerale, a cool dark room, and some sleep often helps me…

    Hope your feel better soon!

    SUEB0B August 4, 2007 at 4:12 pm

    I hate to say it but a shot of tequila does wonders for me.

    Phoenix August 4, 2007 at 4:42 pm

    Airborn? That is my cure all.

    Feel better. “too much excitement” Snicker, snort…might be true though.

    Assertagirl August 4, 2007 at 4:44 pm

    Max out on vitamin C with a Redoxin effervescent tablet. In the vitamin aisle at Shopper’s.

    Hope you feel better soon!

    flutter August 4, 2007 at 4:55 pm

    do you have jamba juices?

    Cold buster. the best. ever. the best.

    my minivan is faster than yours August 4, 2007 at 4:58 pm

    If you don’t have Jamba Juice as the commenter before me suggests…MOVE!

    Last time I had a sore throat like that my doctor gave me Vicadin. I had never taken one before, but I have to say, narcotics sure do take the edge off!

    FYI if you have a history of drug violence, you may want to skip my last suggestion :)

    I hope you feel better soon!

    Mary-LUE August 4, 2007 at 5:07 pm

    Maybe something that would be okay iced and with a little honey in it?

    Are you sure it isn’t strep? It’s been going around down here. Nasty stuff.

    I hope you feel better soon.

    Kyla August 4, 2007 at 5:15 pm

    Make sure it isn’t strep. We hate strep, with the fire of a thousand sore throats.

    Feel better, HBM.

    Liz August 4, 2007 at 5:55 pm

    is there a BlogHer virus now circling the globe? because this here blogger in brooklyn also has a very sore throat and a head-full.
    if i could find a jamba juice to deliver, i’d have one for you…and one for me.

    Jezer August 4, 2007 at 5:58 pm

    Popsicles, liquor, more popsicles, and perhaps a round of antibiotics…feel better soon!

    Suzanne August 4, 2007 at 5:59 pm

    Tea tree oil! I, personally have gotten rid of strep 4 times simply gargling with water and about 10 drops of tea tree oil WITHOUT having to go the antibiotic route. The great thing about tea tree oil is that it kills both bacteria and virues, so whatever’s in there, it will probably kick it’s germy butt for you.

    Now, the downside is tea tree oil tastes rather funky. So, be ready with your favorite of any of the other suggestions as a chaser.

    But I am of the sentiment that I’d rather a) get better quicky, b) avoid antibiotics as much as possible and c) go the natural roue when and where possible.

    Suzanne August 4, 2007 at 6:04 pm

    Please forgive my typos. For some reason, the comment box is cut off mid-way in this little pop-up box, and I can only see the first half of each line I type. :)

    Not sure why I’m blessed with this little problem, but if you can put up with a few typo here and there, I can put up with not seeing half of what I type until I click publish. :)

    Stimey August 4, 2007 at 7:04 pm

    I had a personal trainer once (long, long, oh so long ago) who swore by a quart of water with some honey, lemon juice, and cayenne pepper (!) mixed in.

    I drank about a quarter of a cup before I decided that I’d rather be sick.

    Lawyer Mama August 4, 2007 at 7:10 pm

    Ooh, that’s exactly how I felt when I had strep throat last month. I’m a big believer in popsicles and tea tree oil.

    Anonymous August 4, 2007 at 8:00 pm

    My mom’s English and she swears by lemon-barley water, which is drunk cold or hot. I have no idea how she makes it but you can probably find a recipe on It’s nourishing and yummy if you can get past the initial wierdness :)

    Candygirlflies August 4, 2007 at 9:11 pm

    For the sore ears… There IS an ear drop that acts as a “numbing agent” and really helps with the ache. Ask your pharmacist, as it is behind the counter, though you don’t need a scrip for it. A hairdryer set on “low” blowing into the ear can also offer temporary relief.

    My Scottish grandmother was an Old School Nurse, and in my lifetime, I have NEVER discovered a better “cure” for the common cold than (and you won’t like this part) hot lemon-and-honey (I also lace this with Scotch when I’m extra desperate), and a big wooly sock safety-pinned around your throat!!

    And rest. More than anything else, rest.

    I’m so sorry for you!! Summertime flu sucks the big one.

    Tracey August 4, 2007 at 9:12 pm

    Hmmm… you sound like you’re gonna be busy concocting all of those remedies! Hope one of them works and you feel better really soon!

    radical mama August 4, 2007 at 9:22 pm

    Yucky. I hope you feel better soon!

    I like to drink grape juice mixed with 7-up when I have sore throat. I like the tingly bubbles on the way down, but it’s not syrup-y sweet like straight soda.

    Virtualsprite August 4, 2007 at 9:49 pm

    I’m going to agree with everyone who has suggested a lemon-honey-water-liquour suggestion. I personally like Jack Daniels or DeWar, but that’s me.

    My SO swears gargling with listerine and peroxide (!) works, but it tastes uber-nasty.

    Whatever you try, hope you feel better soon!

    Animal August 4, 2007 at 10:02 pm

    I’ve tried Stimey’s cure – hot – and it works wonders. Don’t know about it cold.

    I’ve also always been a big fan of a jigger of jack Daniels w/honey, heated in the microwave, just before bed.

    Izzy August 4, 2007 at 10:03 pm

    You’re sick, too? Ugh, so am I. And I drank shitloads of that Airborne stuff when I went to BlogHer, just in case, because people swear by it. Hah! Methinks they shall be getting a big fat PAN!

    And P has strep throat, to boot. Hopefully that’s not the next course.

    I hope you feel better ASAP.

    (I know it’s hot and steamy there but I recommend a very hot shower or bath, taking some ibuprofen, cranking the air down a few notches and curling up with a box of tissues, a tall glass of iced Sprite and some guilty pleasures TV)

    kittenpie August 4, 2007 at 10:13 pm

    I told you my remedy for all things germy is Drambuie, right? Get gulping, woman.

    Alley Cat August 4, 2007 at 10:31 pm

    I’m a big believer in drugs. When I had mono, I lived on Asper-Gum. It get’s pain relief to the throat instantly. Sadly, my husband could not find it recently when he was suffering from a throat issue, so I’m not sure if it’s still available. It was probably yanked off the shelf for some awful side effect that will be coming my way soon. Nonetheless, if you find it…

    amaras_mom August 4, 2007 at 10:36 pm

    No suggestions to cure your woes, but I hope you’re feeling better soon!

    Heather August 4, 2007 at 10:41 pm

    Definitely gargle with a water and peroxide mixture for the throat. Doesn’t taste the best but definitely takes the sting out of the sore throat. Worth the ick taste if the throat is way sore.

    jfh August 4, 2007 at 10:57 pm

    All of the suggestions are good. But I have used accupressure for years, and haven’t had a bad sinus, sore throat, ears exploding THING for years. Your hands represent your body, through the pressure points. For your ears, rub the tips of your little fingers. It’s good to do all accupresure symettrically. The ppointer fing. is your eyes Rub the tips, which should hurt, until the hurt is gone. The big quickie is the tongue squeeze–very sensitive. It will hurt a lot. Stand over a sink because you will drool a lot. Squeeze your tongue with clean fingers. Squeeze as long as you can stand it. Do it as often as you can. It works. First time I did these techniques was driving cross country in a Uhaul truck with my 11 year old daughter. She was mortified, but since I was driving and couldn’t squeeze my fingers, I clipped wooden clothes pins (the kind with the piece of metal in them) on all my fingers as I drove, ala Edward Scissor Hands. Hope accupressure works for you! Best book on the subject: to follow. Have to check the title and author.

    jfh August 4, 2007 at 11:05 pm

    Sorry, don’t know what I did to get two copies of my post. Mercury must be in retrograde.
    I just went to and searched for Accupressure books. There are so many now, I don’t feel qualified to recommend one. But they have many cheap ones, and you can probably find one in a local used book store. It is worth the trouble.
    Hope you feel better soon. Your husband sounds like he’s very caring. I imagine he will help care for you.

    Heather August 4, 2007 at 11:52 pm

    A frozen margarita?

    Your throat might still hurt but you won’t care as much.

    ozma August 5, 2007 at 12:16 am

    Neti pot, gargle with saltwater.

    Cayenne pepper tea. But you can wait for it to cool and then drink it.

    Hope you feel better!

    Amber August 5, 2007 at 7:47 am

    Gargle with salt water. Sounds gross (and, indeed, IS gross) but totally works every time.

    heather August 5, 2007 at 8:17 am

    Ginger beer, all the way. I’d also second the neti pot suggestion.

    mamatulip August 5, 2007 at 8:48 am

    A hot toddy.

    And some good ol’ fashioned r&r. Hard to come by, I know.

    Sorry to hear you’re under the weather…hope you pull up above it soon. xo

    Beck August 5, 2007 at 1:34 pm

    I have some honey.
    Even if it doesn’t work, I still get the consolation of having a spoonful of honey.

    crazymumma August 5, 2007 at 2:02 pm

    this is your punishment for having too much fun at that festival of debauchery.

    Vitamin C, chicken soup, oh.

    and a bathroom.

    snort. sorry had to say it.

    Former Dyspeptic August 5, 2007 at 4:13 pm

    Sorry to hear about your illness.

    Perhaps some Ester C and plenty of water, ginger ale and apple juice?

    I hope that you feel better soon.

    Former Dyspeptic August 5, 2007 at 4:14 pm

    Sorry to hear about your illness.

    Perhaps some Ester C and plenty of water, ginger ale and apple juice?

    I hope that you feel better soon.

    Former Dyspeptic August 5, 2007 at 4:15 pm

    Sorry for the multiple posts. I don’t know how that happened.

    Christine August 5, 2007 at 6:32 pm

    i’m with beck–spoonfuls, and spoofulls of honey. feel better soon, k’?

    Mom101 August 5, 2007 at 8:07 pm

    You are writing far too well to be truly sick. Admit it, it’s a heroin hangover isn’t it.

    Her Bad Mother August 5, 2007 at 10:41 pm

    A meth hangover, actually. How’d you guess?

    Beck August 6, 2007 at 8:19 am

    I forgot to add that you can make rather soothing popsicles out of gatorade. But then I got distracted by the whole meth hangover thing.

    Nicole August 6, 2007 at 3:41 pm

    I’m all for the homeopathic meds these days. Typically that means Zycam for me since I’m still breastfeeding. My husband throws in some airborne and other homeopathic meds from the local health food store for whatever symptoms he’s afflicted with at the time.

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