Bank Of VaJayJay

January 9, 2008

Wonderbaby’s relationship with her nether regions is evolving. It is, she will have you know, no longer a hole.

It is now a pocket.

A recent scene at bathtime:

Wonderbaby: (pointing to nether regions) Look I got, Mommy! POCKET!

Mommy: Oh, my goodness. How about that?

Wonderbaby: You need a penny, Mommy? (rummages about around the pocket) HERE YOU GO! (triumphantly brandishes imaginary penny.)

Mommy: Thank you very much. I’ll put it in MY pocket (makes dramatic show of putting imaginary penny in PANTS pocket.)

Needless to say, we are now keeping a very close eye on our pocket change. Also, we can no longer say things like ‘pocket change’ or ‘check your pockets for change’ with straight faces.

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    Avalon January 10, 2008 at 9:27 am

    Well, it is a very inventive way of keeping things safe and hidden. Not many people would think to look there for lost items. Unless, of course, you regularly take Wonderbaby to visit penitentiaries!

    Arwen January 10, 2008 at 10:05 am

    Puts the lyric “I’ve got some change in my pocket going jing a ling a ling” a while new twist.

    Jenifer January 10, 2008 at 10:13 am

    Ha! I love these moments of discovery. Rosebud wanted to talk all about the hair on Mommy’s privates the other day…and all I wanted was a quick shower.

    Don Mills Diva January 10, 2008 at 10:17 am

    That is hilarious – you couldn’t make up the stuff kids come up with!

    Kyla January 10, 2008 at 10:28 am

    Hilarious. At least it was an imaginary penny. ;)

    fidget January 10, 2008 at 10:30 am

    bwhahahahha! thank goodness for imaginary pennies. At least you know who to ask next time you need toll money

    Wright January 10, 2008 at 10:34 am

    Oh my. That’s a new one. I am soooo not looking forward to this phase of my baby’s life. Let know you get her out of this “pocket” phase in case I have to use it later!

    Amy U. January 10, 2008 at 10:41 am

    Keep the debit card away from that bank, eh?


    Erin - ExpectingExecutive January 10, 2008 at 10:59 am

    What a story! These kids, I’ll tell you, they are better than watching cable. Hugs- EE

    Lori at Spinning Yellow January 10, 2008 at 11:02 am

    OK, if I was cooler and could make some drug smuggling reference that included storing a “dime” of something, I would.

    Be careful, my neighbor found her daughter sticking cat food up her vajayjay one day!

    zellmer January 10, 2008 at 11:40 am


    Heather January 10, 2008 at 11:47 am

    You can’t say that she doesn’t use her imagination.

    Beck January 10, 2008 at 11:59 am

    A friend of mine has a terrifying story involving her daughter and a crayon. TERRIFYING! CRAYON-RELATED!

    Mimi January 10, 2008 at 12:03 pm

    OOooh, no more offhanded comments about ‘pulled that out of ASS’, for example, which is in high-rotation around here as I concoct conference paper proposals from quite flimsy bases … Note to self: watch out.

    Janet January 10, 2008 at 12:11 pm

    Oh. My.

    Some of the funniest stuff happens at bath time, doesn’t it?

    Cursing Mama January 10, 2008 at 12:30 pm

    Thats a new one for me! And now I’ll never be able to say anything about a pocket with a straight face either.

    Wendy January 10, 2008 at 12:35 pm

    Hilarious! My daughter is in the same phase….I can’t wait until I no longer have to hear about her “gina” and all is fascinating attributes… What fun!
    She is also very facinated with “cleaneses” and at a recent swimming lesson with her father yelled out how he has a bigger “cleanes” than her brother. Dh wanted to hide…

    BOSSY January 10, 2008 at 12:39 pm

    The VaJayJay? A source of revenue? Interesting concept.

    ~JJ! January 10, 2008 at 1:18 pm

    There is so much funny about that…

    A pocket.

    I love it.

    I wonder if it REALLY could be a pocket?

    Her Bad Mother January 10, 2008 at 1:19 pm

    JJ – if it really could be a pocket, so much shit would lost up there… it’s much too deep to be really functional. I mean, how many lipsticks would just disappear into one’s uterus?

    thordora January 10, 2008 at 1:24 pm

    Awesome. :)

    Christine January 10, 2008 at 1:26 pm

    dude, that is too damn funny!

    and i just caught up on past posts: i am glad your news on the tests were good ones, and congrats on having a boy!!!!

    Running on empty

    Jessica January 10, 2008 at 1:33 pm

    LOL she has a wonderful imagination.

    Andy January 10, 2008 at 1:42 pm

    Oh my!! That is terrific.

    Roz January 10, 2008 at 2:34 pm

    Ha! This stage cracks me up completely. I’m laughing now more than I have in years. My girl is now fascinated with my breasts, especially with all the ‘babies drink milk from their mummies and your new brother will too when he comes’ talk. She’s determined to get her mouth on there as much as possible. I’ve let her try, but her ardour is somewhat disconcerting. Can’t wait to see what happens when the milk comes in!

    Badness Jones January 10, 2008 at 2:37 pm

    That’s hilarious!

    Hannah January 10, 2008 at 2:45 pm

    My heart was in my throat until I read the word “imaginary”. Because you just never know.

    jennster January 10, 2008 at 3:01 pm

    LMFAO!! i’m sorry, but that is fucking HILARIOUS. LOL..

    mothergoosemouse January 10, 2008 at 3:02 pm

    I’m going to spend the rest of my day thinking of pocket-related expressions. For now, I suggest reading Dr. Seuss – There’s a Wocket in My Pocket!

    kittenpie January 10, 2008 at 3:10 pm

    Well, you know, long ago people used to keep their coins in their mouth, but that would get in the way of the talking…

    ALI January 10, 2008 at 3:13 pm

    so laughing out loud as i read this! my little guy is going through a big naked phase, as in “will don’t take your diaper off” “i want to see pee-pee mommy.” today he was showing his pee-pee to his little brother (3 months) and last week i was trying to redress him when he said “something in my bum” you know those craft pom pom balls that you glue to things? yup right there between the cheeks! oh and at our playdate today he informed a dad “everyone has a bum”
    good times!

    Damselfly January 10, 2008 at 4:06 pm

    Reminds me of Fidget’s recent post about her kid saying “pocket rocket.” Now there’s another thing you might not want to say casually around Wonderbaby. ;)

    Bri January 10, 2008 at 4:21 pm

    Delurking to say hi and Bwahahaha!

    Grim Reality Girl January 10, 2008 at 4:41 pm

    Okay — hilarious and TERRIFYING at the same time!!!!!

    (Spoken by a mother who years ago had to take her young daughter to the ER because daughter had put a NAIL in her EAR. Picture this discussion: Why honey???? I don’t know mom…. it fit when you turned it the right way…. ::::then I pounded my head on the steering wheel::::::

    Please have the “we keep things in clothing pockets only” talk…. I’m living in fear for you….

    Colleen January 10, 2008 at 4:58 pm

    Where do they come up with these things????

    Jessica January 10, 2008 at 5:29 pm

    This immediately made me think of the random movie “A Cool, Dry Place.” The little boy says, I bet you can’t do this and pees on a fence or something. The little girl says, oh yeah, I bet you can’t do this…holds up a penny and put it up her dress… HI-larious!

    Mrs. Chicky January 10, 2008 at 5:47 pm

    Gives new meaning to that Alanis Morrisette song “I’ve got one hand in my pocket…”

    flutter January 10, 2008 at 5:55 pm

    if she starts producing bills, you might want to get that checked…. ;)

    Motherhood Uncensored January 10, 2008 at 6:43 pm

    Ah yes. The personal purse. Nature’s handbag.

    I know it well.

    motherbumper January 10, 2008 at 8:31 pm

    Dude, I know I a kid who once pocketed a whole bag of Skittles – I kid you not. Then my sister babysat that kid and she pocketed my sister’s lifesavers. Now that is one sweet pocket.

    Oh now I’m dreaming up hot pocket jokes…

    Her Bad Mother January 10, 2008 at 8:34 pm

    Damn. I should have titled this post HOT POCKET.

    Jerri January 10, 2008 at 8:56 pm

    What a riot!

    Rachel January 10, 2008 at 9:45 pm

    That’s hysterical.
    A Pocket. Is it awful that I immediately think Pita when I hear pocket?
    Yowza. What a gem!

    Jezer January 10, 2008 at 9:54 pm

    Ha! LOVE that!

    Haley-O January 10, 2008 at 10:19 pm

    No WAY! That is really, REALLY HILARIOUS!!!

    MommyTime January 10, 2008 at 11:05 pm

    I am laughing so hard right now, and I really really needed that tonight. Thank you.

    MommyTime January 11, 2008 at 12:08 am

    PS Can I ask what you teach? If you’d rather not say, that’s fine…I’m just curious.

    Anonymous January 11, 2008 at 1:05 am

    HAHAHA!thats so funny…a pocket…cool… .but geez stuff would get lost up there.don’t children have marvelous imaginations….LAVANDULA

    painted maypole January 11, 2008 at 1:22 am

    i hope she doesn’t put anything IN that pocket

    nomotherearth January 11, 2008 at 4:44 am

    Man, I wish my vajayjay made money.

    Wait…that sounds bad, doesn’t it?

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