A Picture Is Worth Years Of Therapy
I received this cunning little sketch last week, and it has been sitting on my bedside table while I decide its fate. To scrapbook, or not to scrapbook? To consign to the bottom of the dustbin, or to frame and display in the front hallway? To deconstruct as artifact of postmodern motherhood, or to roll eyes at and discard?
A fistful of Smarties to anyone who can tell me what it is, or at least make some outrageously funny suggestion so that I can appropriate the narrative of this sketch and reframe it into something that won’t keep me awake at night. Which, yes, is a hint.
(It’s two sketches, actually. The scribble below the fold is a separate image, scrawled with a flourish to underscore a point about the main image, above the fold.)
Posted by Her Bad Mother on July 28, 2008
Filed under: Uncategorized
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."What is done out of love always takes place beyond good and evil." (Nietzsche, Aphorism 153, Beyond Good And Evil.) Not, unfortunately, beyond Dora dolls that shout 'WE DID IT!' when you step on them, but you learn to cope with that.
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Jul 28, 2008
It’s OBVIOUSLY a minimalist profile of a very sad donkey (head only). With a gorgeous signature flair. Duh.
Jul 28, 2008
It’s half a bunny rabbit. The other half is obscured in view.
Jul 28, 2008
Now that is clearly a sketch of Rudolph stepping out of the fog on Christmas Eve. The other reindeer and the sleigh are still lost from view. For now.
Jul 28, 2008
Before you said it was two sketches, I saw the figure of a woman, the bottom scribble clearly her bush. heh
Jul 28, 2008
It’s the side view of a charm bracelet!
Jul 28, 2008
I have a similar sketch in a scrapbook with this caption:
“My son is going to be a genius. I have no idea what this sketch is supposed to be, which means he is already smarter than his mother.”
It’s a big favorite around here.
Jul 28, 2008
That is so an episiotomy.
Jul 28, 2008
Oh dear, I’m afraid my OB drew me a similar sketch. So very hurty!
Jul 28, 2008
I believe the technical name is “modern art.”
I’m pretty sure MOMA would frame it and hang it proudly.
Jul 28, 2008
It’s clearly a lament on the current state of your nether regions and your posterior.
It’s a post-modern reflection of the horrors of child birth and the sacrifices we women make for our family, our children.
That or it’s portrait of what your husband looks like first thing in the morning.
Jul 28, 2008
WAIT! Is that… Frankenvulva?
Jul 28, 2008
upside down “cake”
Jul 28, 2008
A recreation of one of Angelina Jolie’s tattoos?
Jul 28, 2008
Kittenpie, love, friend – I so WISH that were an episiotomy
Jul 28, 2008
Upside down spider with a quarter falling out of his pocket? Do spider’s even have pockets? I was never good an interpreting art.
Jul 28, 2008
It’s obviously a parachuter, coming down to land on a bouey. Boey. Bouy. Whatever. the orange floaty things in the ocean. You’ve got an airplane jumper on your hands.
Jul 28, 2008
I was thinking vulva, but only because the word makes me laugh.
Hi. I’m 14.
Jul 28, 2008
haha i’m glad i’m not the only one who thought it looked like a woman’s nether regions.
Jul 28, 2008
Since I’ve been beaten to gate going …THERE…I will say it is a mouth and tongue spitting out a pea. A commentary on your cooking perhaps? That’s what happens everytime I cook, at least…
Jul 28, 2008
I don’t even know how to be creative after reading the comments, I’m lauging too hard.
G Rated – The spoon that the dish ran away with. The bottom is the cow jumping over the moon.
X Rated – Oh dear, the girl got a mirror and drew a self portrait. I’m not even that brave.
Jul 28, 2008
In our house, it’s called a china.
Jul 28, 2008
It’s either you have a headache or your hub’s pee pee poking you on the head?
Jul 28, 2008
It’s a hep cat with a soul patch.
Anyone can see that.
Jul 28, 2008
i vote sad, half-invisible minimalist bunny.
Jul 28, 2008
Text and IM language of the future?
Jul 28, 2008
Woman with adam’s apple, runaway nipple and appendectomy scar.
Pre “surgery”
I am an artist AND a med student!!
Jul 28, 2008
Well, clearly, the top picture is a depiction of Sperm, Egg, and Baby.
I have no idea why M is being scratched out of the bottom picture.
Keep clutter down by filing the digital picutre of this masterpeiece with the date. Or heck, just archive your blog.
Jul 28, 2008
I am laughing too hard to come up with something coherent.
My guess? A boob hanging down from the sky.
No idea about the landing pad at the bottom.
Jul 28, 2008
I have NO IDEA what that is, but something tells me that if I find out I will FINALLY understand where babies come from!
Jul 28, 2008
Oh wait. … I just realized it looks suspiciously like the one-antlered deer in Open Season played by ashton kutcher.
Looks JUST like him, too.
Jul 28, 2008
This is a sad one-eyed man with a papaya on his head.
The artist’s note reads, “Behold the one-eyed man with the papaya on his head. He is sad. He wanted to eat that papaya.”
Jul 28, 2008
Okay, I think I have it…
The top one has to be of an old lady trying to relive the 80’s bang style, which no one got to begin with, so that’s why she’s a bit confused/sad.
The other one is a bit tougher…
It’s either a downhill skiier heading down the slopes or Prince’s new indentity for 2009.
Jul 28, 2008
WTF with y’all seeing REINDEER? and BUNNIES? Am laughing my ass off BUT SERIOUSLY. The Jungian therapy on this one is gonna be BIZARRE.
Jul 28, 2008
That’s The Wind In Your Vagina.
Jul 28, 2008
*falls to floor, gasping for breath, omf THE LAUGHING*
Jul 28, 2008
It looks like someone who needs their bangs trimmed, has a prominent nose with a mole beside it and they are sad because of one, two or all of those things. That bit on the bottom is them trying to remember the name of their hairstylist – they are fairly certain it doesn’t begin with an M.
That’s what I came up with after I got my mind out the gutter
Jul 28, 2008
I have no clue, but am enjoying the comments!!
Jul 28, 2008
Why is it that doctor’s can’t write clearly, but they can draw something like that just fine. Ouch.
Jul 28, 2008
Yeah, that’s your goodies.
And yeah, sorry about that.
Jul 28, 2008
It’s a sad little one-eyed girl wearing Sarah Jessica Parker’s hat from the Sex and the City movie premier. The doodle below is her dress.
Jul 28, 2008
Umm. Yes, that is the frankenvulva.
Jul 28, 2008
Yeah, I can’t compete with the comment from Black Hockey Jesus.
It looks to me like your lady parts, with extra emphasis of the area that didn’t survive the trauma of birth well.
Jul 28, 2008
I think it’s a little one-eyed man (not *that* one) who is crying because his tongue and his magnifying glass are plastered to his forehead.
Duh.
Jul 28, 2008
There’s gonna have to be a special prize for ‘SJP’s hat’, I think.
Jul 28, 2008
I did not read the comments yet so maybe someone said this…
But I think it is your breast and nipple and it is dripping milk…that is when I did not know it is two pictures….
Am not sure is it because of all the post about your breast being in pain and all…or really I am in that state!
Jul 28, 2008
I am afraid that I would not be saving the drawing as it is a little too Georgio O’Keefe-ish for me. I DONT LIKE HER ‘FLOWER’ ART. And I am no prude, it just really gets me for some reason…
Jul 28, 2008
Oh wow. If that’s Frankenvulva then I am so sorry. And if that bottom sketch is how you tore and were stitched up, then I am even sorrier still. Ouch.
Jul 28, 2008
I think it’s upside down. If you turn it around it’s clearly a vagina, a belly button, and the underneath of one boob.
And the doodle is a wavy line indicating anger. Or that it’s hot.
Jul 28, 2008
I too see a half invisible sad bunny.
Jul 28, 2008
“self portrait in repose, balanced on a whirlwind”
or something
Jul 28, 2008
No farking clue, I guess this means I get my own skittles, huh??
I’m going to guess with chicky tho and say it’s the Frankenvulva!
Jul 28, 2008
It is the sound of one beef curtain clapping.
Jul 28, 2008
See, when *I* look at it, I see a lovely spider with an egg sac. That would keep normal folks awake at night. That would get me running for my macro lens to take pictures of all its eyes. And maybe the babies too. Because I’m a sicko.
Jul 28, 2008
Or it’s totally a vajay jay.
Jul 28, 2008
Um, Bec? I AM PISSING ALL OVER MYSELF LAUGHING.
Jul 28, 2008
Also?
It is the eye of GOD watching all these comments and taking notes.
“And that’s one for YOU…and YOU…and oh yes…YOUUUUU”
Jul 28, 2008
It is the tear wept by Nothing at the origin of the World.
Jul 28, 2008
That’s the look I had in the shower the other day when a pregnant mama spider was spotted post-soap, pre-rinse and I knew I couldn’t get away. She looked as though she was doing the I HAZ A MILLION BABIES AND I”M GOING TO SPRAY THEM ALL OVER YOUR NAKED BODY dance.
I was fucking terrified.
Jul 28, 2008
Number 69, 2008.
Jul 28, 2008
The Sphincter Mourns As Shadow Embraces Light.
Jul 28, 2008
I can’t top any of these comments. All I can say is ouch and this might be the reason you are pissing all over yourself when laughing. Obviously this person did not know it’s pearl one, knit two.
Jul 28, 2008
I would like to point out that if that was my naked likeness in the shower – my tits do not point sideways like that. Nor do I have 4 teats.
Jul 28, 2008
The Inverted Nipple Remembers High School.
Jul 28, 2008
There Are No Flowers Or Perfume Where You’re Going Motherfucker.
Jul 28, 2008
Glory Hole with Chewing Gum (Triple J Truck Stop- Yuma, AZ, 2003)
Jul 28, 2008
Reindeer Cornholio in Ink
Jul 28, 2008
This is completely hilariously out of control. I can’t stop coming back to see what is new.
Jul 28, 2008
Bob Saget Attacks Unsuspecting Gazelle
Jul 28, 2008
Bwahahahahahaa.
~snort~
Srsly, lady bits?
((mails case of wine to HBM))
Jul 28, 2008
All Pale Against the O Face
Jul 28, 2008
Karen – there’s an Aristocrats joke in there somewhere.
Jul 29, 2008
Frankenvulva, of course.
Jul 29, 2008
Someone tore you a new asshole?
Jul 29, 2008
Yes, it has to be Frankenvulva.
But really it has to be the view from the clouds of a teeny weeny person who let go of their balloon, and then off to the side you see a close up of their sad little smile.
In case you’ve not thought this already – I suspect this drawing is not great bedtime reading…
Jul 29, 2008
The comments have distracted me so much that my OWN witty comment has escaped me. I SWEAR.
Jul 29, 2008
Little birdie flying high
Dropped a message from the sky
My, said the farmer, wiping his eye
Isn’t it lucky that cows don’t fly?
Jul 29, 2008
It’s the reason I want to email you a home reconstructive surgery kit. And drugs. xoxoxo
Jul 29, 2008
Erika – good drugs, I hope.
Jul 29, 2008
its a half bunny a sad one because umm it wee wee’d on the bottom of the page? oui? no?
Jul 29, 2008
oh its a ring and the jewel broke of a tiny bit and smashed on the floor.how silly was i thinking it was a mutant bunny!hahaha!
Jul 29, 2008
I agree entirely that it’s lady bits.
Because you’ve got the labia represented by the two sets of curving lines, and the darker, roundish part right below it is the vagina, ‘cuz that’s how a young artist would draw a hole that goes in…
Then maybe a belly button? ‘Cuz that’s sort of in the general area, too?
And beneath the fold is the hairy-grown-up version.
But I could totally see it being Rudolph with his nose falling off if it were around Christmas… with the scribble being the foggy night at the bottom.
My daughter drew a picture of herself eating cherries, complete with one in her stomach. I was glad to have her explain it to me because there was so much wealth in the details!
Maybe you can save it and sell it to pay for the therapy.
Jul 29, 2008
A sad vagina. I see the labia, clitoris, and pubic hair. And a frown. This vagina is very, very sad.
Jul 29, 2008
Still LMAO at “That’s The Wind In Your Vagina.”
Jul 29, 2008
Bungee jumping Daddy Long Legs
Jul 29, 2008
I’m gonna have to totally second the episiotomy comment!
That is totally what it is!
Jul 29, 2008
Nipple portrait!
Jul 29, 2008
It’s obviously a one eyed reindeer.
Jul 29, 2008
Are there fuzzies around that lower dark spot? I am feeling very sorry for your vajayjay right now.
Its a map to the lost city of Atlantis?
Jul 29, 2008
Vagina……
…
..
.
Anus.
Normally separated by a plateau of nothingness except in this drawing there is clearly a large HOLE the size/shape of a baby head.
Can I get you some ice? Tucks? Hard liquor?
Jul 29, 2008
Yes, obviously it is a hoo ha with a sad face under it. Which is exactly how I feel about mine these days.
Jul 29, 2008
It’s a sad face with crazy hair. The picture underneath is a mess-up. A do-over. You can see the shirt behind the scribble.
Jul 29, 2008
to me it says “Loach Pain.” Loach, (not) meaning that smooth spot between the vajayjay and the rectum, was coined during a Balderdash round 15 years ago. It’s really some kind of fish… which could also be a good title for this piece.
Jul 29, 2008
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORING
Jul 29, 2008
I’m thinking an episitomy, too?? gee, don’t they feel good!
Jul 29, 2008
The larger picture is clearly a hand mirror view of a vagina.
The bottom is a rabbit. Maybe baby has heard momma talking about her favorite “toys” and was confused.
Jul 29, 2008
I’m gonna go with:
A cyclops with a black eye and a bad combover. And a tiny little patch of chest hair.
Jul 29, 2008
Oh, hey, wow – Anonymous scrolled all the way down through 90-plus comments to type out that he was bored. Someone, clearly, needs to get a life.
Jul 29, 2008
And, ha! Shonda – you’ve explained the bunnies to me. THANK YOU.
Jul 29, 2008
Yeah, what was I going to say? Whatever.
It was totally more witty than anyone else but all of a sudden my nether regions feel all kinda ouchie.
Jul 29, 2008
It looks like a duck to me, can’t make out the bottom. Please don’t take my input seriously, I have been in therapy for years and now one of my daughters is due to her father’s terminal illness. My favorite drawings were always the large round circles with big round eyes and limbs shooting out from the widest part (kinda looked like chicken feet). I love the one we have of four circles and the only difference is my husband’s green eyes vs. the three girls with blue eyes. We all spend years trying to analyze how we’ve f**ked up our children through their art, welcome to the club.
Jul 30, 2008
Well, I’m not sure why you’re so sure it’s NOT a reindeer in the fog,
but if you’re sure,
then the only other thing it could be is an extremely foreshortened worm’s-eye view of a used tampon,
with a clot hanging from the string and a drip on the floor.
I kinda preferred the reindeer.
Jul 30, 2008
Okay, Roo? THAT scarred me for life.
Jul 30, 2008
ml – we call that a nifkin!
Aug 2, 2008
Yeah, as someone with mangled lady bits once myself, I sure thought of that as soon as I saw the picture. Although that damage doesn’t look too bad. Yet.
Aug 4, 2008
Clenching my legs tightly together in sympathy over here.