Monday Miscellany: When Will The Holidays End Edition

December 29, 2008

I’m spent. Exhausted. Completely drained of anything bearing even the slightest resemblance to energy. The holidays, they can kill you if you aren’t careful.

It was a few days of highs (the girl doing her Christmas Evening Music Show clad only in a bumblebee hat and bandit-style eye mask, clutching a ride-along stick-pony and singing Jingle Bells at the top of her lungs) and lows (my mother calling Christmas Eve to discuss with me how very few Christmases my nephew has left and isn’t it heartbreaking that we can’t spend these remaining holidays together?) and very little sleep. So all that I am able to muster today – by way of a feeble, oh hai, am still here, somewhere, hello! – is this random list of observations and proclamations:

1) In the frenzy of Christmas Eve and Christmas morning, when the world is filled with brightly wrapped packages filled with gifts, be careful where you leave your Tampax box. Because when a small child discovers, in a washroom adjacent to that environment – a pretty, brightly-colored cardboard box filled with what look to be individually-wrapped treasures that may or may not be candy, she’s going to be curious, and you’re going to have some questions to answer.

2) Best to answer, in those circumstances, that it’s a gift for Mommy. Santa moves in mysterious ways.

3) Depressing phone conversations with your mother on Christmas Eve can cause drinking.

4) When drinking, it’s best to remember that rum is still rum even when it’s drowned in a quarter-litre of eggnog, and it can, accordingly, still cause a hangover.

5) Hangovers are infinitely worse when you spend the previous night awake with a newly-betoothed baby hanging off your boob.

6) Teeth and nipples don’t mix.

7) Teeth and nipples and too much rum and lack of sleep don’t mix, but naked three-year old bumblebees in flight and bright yellow Tampax packages tied up with string under the Christmas tree are kind of cheery, so maybe it all balances out.

Because the New Year is pending, and I need all the good karma that I can get, I’m giving away more donations to charity – this time through, which will provide $25 charity donation gift cards to two readers (they provide the gift card, and you can make the donation to any Canadian charity) (you don’t have to be Canadian, it just needs to be a Canadian charity – so if you support breast cancer research, for example, just donate the funds to a Canadian research organization) – leave a comment with the cause – specific organization, generic cause, ‘save the world’, whatever – you’d like to support, and I’ll randomly draw names and post winners on New Year’s Eve.

(CanadaHelps is a charity that helps charities. Their website promotes giving by making it easy for donors to find Canadian charities and make a donation online to one of the 83,000 listed – and searchable – Canadian charities. Canadians – make your donations before Dec 31st to get a tax receipt for the 2008 tax year.)

Oh, and just because – there’s also a $25 iTunes card for the first name drawn. (You might also consider picking up your own iTunes card and passing it along to someone who could use a little happy music, or perhaps a little Dr. Horrible. If you’re in Canada, you can get them at any Sobeys, Mac’s or A&P (Toronto) and Safeway, Save-on Foods and Coop (Vancouver) and, obviously, at the iTunes store online. Remember: KARMA.)

WINNERS – Christina and Stacie; Christina’s was first name drawn so she gets the iTunes card as well!

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    royaldixie December 31, 2008 at 12:51 pm

    The Cancer society has my vote too!


    Naomi December 31, 2008 at 12:54 pm


    When I was at college in Austin, I had an exchange band from Calgary during SXSW and we became great friends.

    Loonstruck December 31, 2008 at 12:55 pm

    Muscular Dystrophy research and help.

    Happy New Years!

    Burgh Baby December 31, 2008 at 1:19 pm

    I REALLY wish I had read your tampon warning BEFORE Christmas. *ahem*

    Heather December 31, 2008 at 1:53 pm

    What a great site! I use a different site down in the US and my favorite charities are geared towards women and children.

    Megret December 31, 2008 at 1:55 pm

    I’d like to donate to the Ontario March of Dimes.

    musesofmegret (at) gmail (dot) com

    Polkaroo December 31, 2008 at 2:15 pm

    Can I split my vote? My vote is for the Ottawa Humane Society as well as the Alzheimer’s Society.
    The Ottawa Humane Society has burst pipes and as a result they have no heat. The animals are bundled up in sweaters and blankets.
    I also voted for the Alzheimer’s Society as I have seen first hand what that horrible disease does. I lost my grandmother 3 years ago to Alzheimer’s but in reality I lost her 10 years ago when she was gone into her own little world.

    Sharla December 31, 2008 at 2:51 pm

    What a great idea! There’s no better way to rejuvenate than by giving. If I am chosen I’d like to donate to the HOPE FOR CHILDREN FOUNDATION. Thanks!

    Booklogged December 31, 2008 at 3:11 pm

    Some happy music would do wonders to lift my spirits. Thanks for offering such a great drawing.

    Elizabeth January 2, 2009 at 5:23 pm

    Greetings from across the border- so enjoyed your Christmas comments, having just endured the “when will the election end” marathon, then holidays. My daughter at three was much like yours. Screamed till she puked at 6 months if she couldn’t stay up with the big people. Was so cute people thought I was Mummy Dearest when I tried to correct her, without any physical threats. The good news is she grew into a truly good, wonderful 25-year-old young woman. She’s in Ottawa, far from home, with, I believe, someone related to you, and I’m missing her terribly. Hang in there mumsie. It gets better- although trying at times. They are our best teachers. As to charities, if you’ve never heard of, give them a look.

    Dana January 3, 2009 at 2:03 pm

    Happy New Year, Catherine. Here’s hoping it brings much needed rest and calm.

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