Skinny Jeans And All

January 21, 2011

In the comments to yesterday’s post, someone remarked that, in their opinion, any flak that I get for whatever is probably due to the fact that I am incessantly negative and that incessant negativity is irritating. For someone who does live a priveleged life (sic) and has a great family, you spend an inordinate amount of your twitter life telling us how much things suck, wrote this very dissatisfied person. People want to see the happy times, too.

I disagree – I mean, many of my tweets of late have been about Emilia’s imaginary pet dragon, Beauregard, and about my love of Jasper’s bottom, and I think those are happy-making – but still. If my people want more HAPPY, I will give them more HAPPY, because, as I am sure I don’t need to remind you, I am a giver.


1.) Imaginary pet dragons.

2.) The ability – explained to me by Emilia – of imaginary pet dragons to roast anyone who complains about pet dragons’ owners (readers, check yourselves.)

3.) Toddler butt.

4.) Toddler butt in skinny toddler jeans. (Look, sue my hipster ass. Small boys in skinny jeans and vintage rock tees from H&M are adorable, I don’t care what you say.)

5.) Coffee.

6.) Coffee.

7.) Coffee.

8.) My husband, when he’s not complaining about the cost of cable.

9.) The mourning doves who hang out on our kitchen windowsill. I’ve named them Harold and Maude, for no reason other than the fact that one of them looks like a Harold and the other looks like a Maude. And, even though I know that they’re not partridges, every time that I see them a little voice in my head trills, c’mon get HAAAAPPY. So.

10.) Toddler mittens. Nobody, not even the snow, has such small hands!

11.) This.

12.) My mom.

13.) Coffee.

14.) Writing whatever the hell I want on Twitter, and here, and on the bathroom wall, and in any space that is my own, but not including Emilia’s room, even though that is, legally, my space, since it’s part of the house that I paid for, because she has been given carte blanche to do with that room what she likes, artistically, and so I keep my hands and words off.

I would have added cupcakes to the list, but I don’t currently have any, and reflecting on my lack of cupcakes has an effect opposite to HAPPY, so. I left it off.

/ smiley face.

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    Meg January 20, 2011 at 6:20 pm

    I agree with the coffee!!!
    And happiness brought by cupcakes but not by wishing one had some…
    I think I’ll go procure a dozen now just for more Happy.

    Happy Day, Her Bad Mother!
    .-= Meg´s last blog ..Snow Angel Dare =-.

    Saisquoi January 20, 2011 at 7:08 pm

    I made 2 dozen cupcakes last night for my daughter’s birthday tomorrow (school party today). I would totally send you some, except I fear they may not travel well across the border.

    Although, funny enough, making and eating these cupcakes in celebration of my daughter’s 2nd birthday is somewhat bittersweet because how did she get to be 2?! And doing such amazing things? WHERE IS MY BABY?

    Ahem. I’m sounding like a downer. Off to think about dragons and unicorns and sparkly, ruffly, frilly stuff.
    .-= Saisquoi´s last blog ..Beautiful Girls =-.

    Chantelle January 20, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    It’s YOUR blog! be as negative as you want. Complaining about life is part of what it is about!! The negative stuff just makes the best writing material

    Shelly Ok January 20, 2011 at 9:02 pm

    If someone want’s inordinate amounts of happiness and unicorns, they probably shouldn’t spend their time reading a blog entitled “Her Bad Mother.” The name itself kind of hints that this might be written by someone who’s badass, sarcastic, and funny…

    Sarah January 21, 2011 at 8:12 am

    Crawling out from my lurking stone… I don’t think you’re overly negative. I generally find your words thought provoking and quite lovely. And imaginary pet dragons named Beauregard make me smile since I came to work at 2 am to type a 6 month old organ donor..

    Her Bad Mother January 21, 2011 at 11:55 am

    aw, hugs to you

    Asa's Mummy January 21, 2011 at 10:41 am


    Negativity is looking at the bad things in life and responding as Eeyore: “Bad stuff. Can’t do anything. Gonna go sulk.”

    What you do is quite different. If I may paraphrase you: “I’m privileged, I know that, but I am in a position to use my privilege to help others. I point out the unfairness, the hardship, the injustice *so that we may not pull the blinders of privilege around us and forget that with privilege comes responsibility.*”

    Bless you, HBM, for never letting us forget that privilege is just that, rather than a right or an entitlement. (Boo entitled trolls especially.)

    And toddlers in skinny jeans? YES.
    .-= Asa’s Mummy´s last blog ..Hangin With Nonni and Poppy =-.

    Jeni January 21, 2011 at 11:20 am

    Love it! Can’t believe someone would give you flak for your wry sense of humour -they obviously don’t get it, especially after all the good you do. Keep it up!
    .-= Jeni´s last blog ..Feb 3rd Openings in the – Un-Studio – -4 Free High Res Files! =-.

    tori aka ggs_closet January 21, 2011 at 11:21 am

    You make me lol. That’s all the matters.
    .-= tori aka ggs_closet´s last blog ..My Review of Call Me Irresistible by Susan Elizabeth Phillips is at Smexy Books =-.

    Eliza January 21, 2011 at 12:52 pm

    toddler butt :) and might i just say, i love it, even your happy list is slightly sarcastic and irreverent which is of course what i love about reading this blog. Its so human and still thoughtful, which is amazing and lovely and something that make me HAPPY. I think i shall now go eat some nachos and then cupcakes, because i happen to have those things.

    Lara January 21, 2011 at 1:03 pm

    I love love love love LOVE when you make subtle E.E. Cummings references in your posts. Mostly because I adore E.E. Cummings, and I pretty much adore you too (though, if I’m being honest, I adore E.E. Cummings just slightly more – if Modernist poets could have fangirls, I would be one of his), so the combination is lovely.
    .-= Lara´s last blog ..Is It Everything You Hoped For =-.

    justmom420zaks January 21, 2011 at 1:10 pm

    I think you are awesome, and honest, and I love reading everything you write… happy… sad… slightly crazy.. whatever.
    Don’t change for anyone. Write what you are going to write and fuck’em if they don’t like it.
    .-= justmom420zaks´s last blog ..If it Wasn’t For Social Media- I Wouldn’t Have Any Social At All =-.

    Issa January 21, 2011 at 3:29 pm

    The, you can write whatever you want, in your space….that one? Is the truest thing you said.

    Although I love pet dragons and baby boy butts myself.

    I guess I will share a few too. I love Instagram. I love cherry sour candies which I am currently in possession of. I love coffee. I love my kids in footy pj’s. I love that my son has the teeny-est “kar-bowrd” (also called a skateboard) ever. I love listening to my girls read at night.

    Right now? I’m really loving Twitter.
    .-= Issa´s last blog ..If I waited for something big to post about- I’d never post =-.

    Sherry January 21, 2011 at 4:00 pm

    I swear, it never fails to amaze me that people take the time to complain about what people choose to write on their own blogs (or Twitter or Facebook or whatever). Unless they are somehow being forced to read, the best way to deal with not liking what someone writes is to, you know, stop reading it.

    What good comes of moaning that someone is too negative/chipper/self-deprecating/whatever?
    .-= Sherry´s last blog ..In a nutshell =-.

    Marinka January 21, 2011 at 10:23 pm

    I adore you.

    And if we can’t complain, whine and stomp our feet, I don’t want to be part of the revolution.
    .-= Marinka´s last blog ..Cool =-.

    Amanda January 22, 2011 at 9:14 am

    I don’t think you’re negative. I think you take negative situations, talk about them, and search for ways to make them better.

    I started blogging (about PPD and motherhood and whatnot) and have already gotten some flak for how negative my posts are. And yet, I’ve also gotten responses from people that my stories make them feel less alone, and that, I think, is a very positive thing.

    That’s how I feel when I read your posts. So thank you! Also, you seem like a very honest, sweet, kind person. What’s more positive than that?
    .-= Amanda´s last blog ..Sleep Deprived and Over the Edge =-.

    kelly @kellynaturally January 22, 2011 at 4:09 pm

    I don’t understand how it’s wrong to use something available to you to… you know, DO something with. Let’s say you have a medical degree. You’d likely practice medicine with it, right?

    Internet people with internet clout: contacts, reach, platforms use the internet to do what they need and want to get done. You can’t really do what you want without having those things (degrees, experience, OR, computers and contacts). And when you have them what should you do? Sit on your hands & think, “Yay me! I’ve got stuff!”??

    And for goodness sakes, if you don’t link back to your own work, its like assuming everyone in the world who ever encounters your blog has stopped & taken the time to read every. single. article you’ve ever written, and knows EXACTLY what you’re talking about, context and all – which is a ludicrous and ridiculously self-elevating assumption to make. Further, putting links to your own work IN your work, makes it just a tad more difficult for people to steal your work.

    You use your position to help others, to tell stories, as an emotional outlet, whatever. It’s YOUR space – as is your twitter space. And people can choose to not read, not to follow, etc.

    But to complain about it? Bah. Pure jealousy.

    Keep doing what you’re doing.
    .-= kelly @kellynaturally´s last blog ..Parenting Through the Perfect Storm =-.

    Sarah Kate January 23, 2011 at 2:28 am

    If philosophers can not create a space to wonder, we are well and truly bollocksed. Without this forum I, for one, would be expressing far less outward positivity.

    Jennifer January 23, 2011 at 4:56 pm

    I agree whole heartedly. Also, I took a gander at your mom’s blog. It’s wonderful!!!
    .-= Jennifer´s last blog ..Hats- Hats &amp More Hats! =-.

    Beautiful Girls January 25, 2011 at 6:19 am

    Its really nice website for me. thanks dear I love this blog,

    Jana@AnAttitudeAdjustment January 26, 2011 at 6:36 pm

    Don’t you think it’s funny when someone makes a negative comment but doesn’t know how to spell? That makes me happy. Because really, a [sic] is all that’s needed to shut them down. And how often is that the case with mean creatures?

    I wish I could say the same for my neighbor’s dog.

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