UPDATE: No baby yet. Have been to hospital and they say that I am in 'early' labor and that it could go on for days and oh, hai, yeah, sometimes it hurts like a...

I cannot even begin to tell you how crap I feel. Seriously. Between the ongoing false labor and the muscle-searing leg cramps, the chest-sucking heartburn and the debilitating backache, the no sleep and the...

False labor. What the hell is up with that, seriously? It's, like, the meanest trick that the gods have up their sleeves - save, say, giving a pregnant woman who is racked by both...