Posted by Her Bad Mother on July 16, 2009 1:46 pm • ask the internets, fearless, jasper • 103 comments
Hey There, Delilah
This is Jasper:
Jasper needs a haircut, or so I’m told. I don’t want to cut his hair. I firmly, emphatically, passionately do not want to cut his hair. Because the moment that I cut his hair, he will turn into a little boy. I know this. The moment that his floppy, fluffy, messy baby locks are shorn, he will lose all of his babyness and turn immediately into the toddler that I know he is but am resisting acknowledging. My heart plummets, plummets, into my heels when I think of this. I cannot stand it. I want him – need him – to be a baby for just a little while longer.
Which, I suppose, is a kind of Delilah-complex in reverse. I want to keep him small and needy and dependent by not cutting his hair. Cutting his hair will effect a transformation – and a kind of empowerment, if we consider the advancing development of small children as empowering to children, which, as any parent who has found him or herself collapsed on the living room floor while their child runs circles around them knows is absolutely the case – that I cannot bear – cannot yet bear – to witness. And this, I know, is cowardly, and unfair to Jasper, who is rattling the chains of his footie jammies and his binky and his mop of hair and demanding, demanding, to be BIG. To be BOY.
I need to let him, don’t I?
So do I cut his hair, or hang on a little longer? I so want to hang on a little longer. But… I should cut it, right?
Right?
This shit is hard.
(Props to Katie for the beautiful pic, shot on our road-trip at the Hat Creek Ranch in BC.)
(I still need help explaining death to the girl. And dinosaurs. And the relationship of dinosaurs to God. HALP.)
Posted by Her Bad Mother on July 16, 2009 1:46 pm • ask the internets, fearless, jasper • 103 comments
Annika Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 2:38 pm
I still have not cut Sam’s hair. He is three years old and has long, beautiful curls.
Annika´s last blog ..Things Everyone Should Do
Issa Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 2:40 pm
I adore that photo. Seriously.
I have no advice. I’ve spent the last week egging my child on; to take a step, that first tiny step. At the same time, I want to cry at the very thought of my son walking. So, eh? Leave his hair for a few weeks.
Sadly, leaving the baby hair, will not make Jasper stay a baby.
Issa´s last blog ..Blogiversary
Adventures In Babywearing Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 2:40 pm
Hang on. Do it when you’re ready. Then it’s so much fun.
But either way, he will be adorable and it will knock your socks off.
I know, I’m not much help.
Steph
Adventures In Babywearing´s last blog ..Time. Thought I’d Make Friends With Time.
makyo Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 2:43 pm
ok, i don’t have kids yet (6 months and counting!) so maybe what i’m about to say is incredibly naive, or maybe it’s just my inner hippie coming out to hug some trees, but… can’t a boy still be a boy with long(ish) hair? if you’re enjoying his hair, and he is too, then why the rush to cut it? unless he’s tugging at it constantly or in some other way it appears to seriously bug him, i don’t see any need to lop it off. if people are nagging you that he “looks like a girl” because of long locks, well, i vote for giving them the finger and telling them to mind their own business, or maybe flashing them the peace sign and telling them to live and let live. he’s a gorgeous boy, letting him keep his hair for the time being isn’t going to change that.
Her Bad Mother Reply:
July 16th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
Eh, no-one has pulled the girly card. Yet. And I certainly don’t have a problem with it. I LURVE messy locks on boys.
But it does get in his eyes and stuff. SIGH.
Joy Reply:
July 16th, 2009 at 3:48 pm
So, maybe, just trim his bangs a little? For now? Messily, and certainly not straight across like one would for a girl…
Joy´s last blog ..
Della Reply:
July 17th, 2009 at 10:01 am
That seems like a good middle road!
Della´s last blog ..Not Me! Monday – Early Edition
jen Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 2:52 pm
I think you’ll know when you are ready. I was just itching to cut C’s hair. And then I did and I really wanted to cry. So if I was really, really ready and STILL had that reaction, just wait a while longer. Don’t rush it.
jen´s last blog ..currently
Anne Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 3:04 pm
Ask him if he’d like it cut? But Issa’s right.
My boy’s only 8 months and hardly has any hair, but already my husband is wanting to cut the longish wisps on the side that make him look a bit like a balding old guy
So I’m thinking he’s probably going to have a crew cut if darling daddy has any say in it 
Her Bad Mother Reply:
July 16th, 2009 at 7:50 pm
My husband is very much an ‘oh, we should cut it’ guy. My worry is that I’ll come back from BlogHer to a crew-cut.
Angela Reply:
July 16th, 2009 at 10:28 pm
A very valid fear! In January my husband was shaving his own head. Nicky showed some interest in the clippers, and the next thing I knew he was bald. In January.
Lucky thing I’d knitted him a hat last year.
Angela´s last blog ..Giddy up!
She Likes Purple Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 3:07 pm
I love messy, long, shaggy hair on little boys. It’s adorable. He’s got his whole life to have a nice, neat haircut. You hang on as long as you want.
I have a 5-month baby boy, and I laugh at the thought of willingly cutting his hair. I just don’t see it happening until he asks for it.
She Likes Purple´s last blog ..Help me enjoy my commute
Anne Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 3:09 pm
p.s. he is gorgeous. I wouldn’t want to cut his hair either.
Anne´s last blog ..The strawberry – a cautionary tale
Laural Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 3:09 pm
Awww … it’s still cute.
Celine Dion needs to cut her son’s hair. You’re still okay
I think it’s cute.
Christy Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 3:16 pm
I have three girls, so I’m not really sure about boy hair. With my first two, they didn’t get haircuts right away and rocked the Carol Brady mullets for awhile. With my third, I feel like it’s just hair, and I’ll probably get it cut sooner. I’d wait until you’re ready. I sort of think it’s the cheeks that make the baby. Somewhere between 4 and 5 (in our family anyway), they lose their baby cheeks and start to look older.
AmberMc Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 3:26 pm
My husband wants to SHAVE my 10 month old’s head. Idonotthinkso.
He will get his hair cut when I can no longer comb it neatly. I’m OK with boys with long hair but I’m not into the whole Celine Dion’s son’s long hair.
However, if you do decide to keep it long, be prepared for people to confuse him with a girl. And when that happens you can teach him what my ex heard when he called a long haired boy a girl: “I GOT A DICK”. OK then 3 year old.
AmberMc´s last blog ..He didn’t get this crap from me, that’s for sure.
Crystal Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 3:28 pm
It’s amazing how fast they go from baby to little kid with just the snip of a few locks. I always forget about it when I take my boys for haircuts and then when they come out it’s like completely different people.
Crystal´s last blog ..Potty Time
Lona Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 3:41 pm
My son is three and a half, and he had his first haircut in April, only because he could no longer see. And might I add, the first haircut? I only let them trim his bangs. His hair is like Jasper’s — blond and wispy and adorable. I’ve had some people criticize me — “Cut his hair lest me become gender confused as an adult!” — but I’ve just told them to eff off.
Don’t cut his hair until a) he can’t see or b) you decide it’s time. There’s no rush.
Plus, long haired boy babes? They are HARD. CORE.
Lona´s last blog ..Life is a highway, I wanna drive it all night looong …
MommyNamedApril Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 4:07 pm
awww, i had this same internal conflict with both my boys… but strangely, i felt SUCH a weight lifted when i finally cut it
and they look so so so cute with freshly shorn locks!
MommyNamedApril´s last blog ..Deep Thought for the Day…
mayberry Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 4:36 pm
I had to do it when my son was 11 months old, because it was constantly getting food, boogers, etc. stuck in it. Not very cute. It was angsty, though (here’s the post). One of my friends shaved her baby’s head so he’d look like he had baby fuzz, instead of a little boy cut. It even sort of worked.
mayberry´s last blog ..Thanks, Captain Obvious!
Amanda of Shamelessly Sassy Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 5:50 pm
I would just go and cut it off. It would be sort of like ripping the bandaid off quickly.
Amanda of Shamelessly Sassy´s last blog ..Redhead Girl
FishyGirl Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 5:52 pm
Eh, my husband had longer hair than me when we got married. And mine is (and was) past my bra. He is adorable. Let it ride til you feel you’re ready. You’ll know when it’s time.
FishyGirl´s last blog ..Blymey, Episode 3: Return of The Tick
Sara Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 6:26 pm
Oooooh, I’ve been there. When we cut my “baby boy’s” hair for the first time–just before his first birthday–it was such a shock. And the curls never came back. Wah!! I agree about the first haircut making a radical change. It was like Gus was officially a little boy instead of a baby. It really surprised me. I vote for letting his hair grow until you’re so fed up with it that you can’t stand it any more. But that’s just me….
No Mother Earth Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 6:42 pm
I’m probably the wrong person to ask, because I am a big fan of short hair on boys. I also think short hair in the hot summer is just… practical. And less hot. And I am a very practical person. (And not hot, but let’s not go there, m’kay?).
I say if you want to keep it long, why not? It’s no biggie unless they start confusing him as E’s little sister. [for some reason, that bugs the crap outta me. maybe you don't have my issues though...]
No Mother Earth´s last blog ..Ironic.
Her Bad Mother Reply:
July 16th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
He actually got mistaken FOR Emilia the other day. Which is maybe an entirely different problem.
(Emilia, fwiw, didn’t need a haircut until she was 2 and a half.)
Amy Jo Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 8:05 pm
Don’t do it! I waited forever to cut my son’s hair, and my daughter still hasn’t had a haircut a month shy of her second birthday. You are the mommy! Reserve your rights!
Amy Jo´s last blog ..Silly
Marinka Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 8:31 pm
Cut!
Marinka´s last blog ..A Quicky!
Karl Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 8:32 pm
Good Lord, woman. He’s perfect. Don’t change a thing till he’s 12.
OK, maybe not that long, but I wouldn’t sweat it until he’s maybe in preschool/Kindergarten? Oh, sorry, you’re a Candadian, eh? I meant preaschooul/Kiundergaurten.
For real? Beautiful photo.
Karl´s last blog ..SecondHand Radio Tonight – Laci Loo!
Karianna Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 8:34 pm
Eh – my five-year old boy has long hair. I trim it every so often so that it isn’t super-long, but it definitely has a surfer-boy look to it rather than the “little businessman” look that would happen if he had one of those traditional boy-haircuts. (And I don’t even want to think about buzz-type cuts: hate those!)
At 5 he’s definitely a “big boy” but still has impish charm. I’ve offered to cut his hair shorter, but he’s declined. Of course, kindergarten peer-pressure might change his decision, but for now I’m happy to keep it purdy.
Karianna´s last blog ..Social Cues
Mona Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 8:34 pm
Can’t you just have it trimmed so it’s out of his eyes but still longer? Why does it have to be one or the other? Trim it up a bit, make it look nice, but it keep long that way you like it. Hair styles are not set in stone. Boys don’t HAVE to have short hair, and girls don’t HAVE to have long hair. I think there is nothing cuter than a little girls with a short bob. And a little boy with fluffy curls. And remember, it’s HAIR! It will grow back. Even if you shave it all off, it will grow back. It isn’t the end of the world. I promise.
amy Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 8:35 pm
we love long hair here. Really I don’t want to chat about hair- just how crazy it seems that he is a big boy. You were one of the folks I was afraid to really chat to last year- but I just swooned over him as I saw you around- that tiny tiny nugget of baby. It does not seem possible he is that big boy already. He’s gorgeous. I also plan on talking to you this year. Is this ok? smoooooches.
amy´s last blog .."I don’t have to believe it, and I think it’s beautiful."
Her Bad Mother Reply:
July 16th, 2009 at 8:45 pm
It’s more than okay. I will hunt you down if you don’t
(And? TINY NUGGET. He was, wasn’t he?)
Mona Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 8:36 pm
P.S.
Just PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT MAKE HIM WEAR A MULLET! Or a rat tail hair cut. Thats just sad. I always feel sorry for the little guys who’s parents make them have a mullet or a rat tail hair cut.
Her Bad Mother Reply:
July 16th, 2009 at 8:45 pm
NEVER.
Swearsies.
Shannon Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 8:37 pm
I had many around me who were eager for me to cut my sons beautiful ringlet curls, but I just explained we had a tradition that you don’t cut a child’s hair till after he/she is three years old… Everyone had a comment, some were supportive, most were not…I’m so glad I waited, and even sometimes sorry I ever cut it at all (the ringlets have never returned….) I have a friend who’s in laws were so bothered by the long hair they cut it off one day they were babysitting… didn’t even save any hair from that first cut for the mom… very sad.
Sarah Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 8:37 pm
Cut his hair. And here’s the thing…
Once you cut him you will fall in love all over again with the next stage of Jasper. You cannot postpone what he is, what he’s becoming, what he wants to be. Boys move fast. Hair grows long. We can’t keep up with any of it. But it’s like a new pair of shoes or a new favorite food or a new set of lyrics they’ve learned to sing – it’s another stage. It’s a haircut. Once it’s cut it doesn’t mean it will never be long again. Wispy, maybe not so much. But long, could be again.
Have faith in yourself that you’ve noticed it, relished it, loved it, held on to it – this stage, this time in his life – and that you will look back at this picture that Katie took and remember.
And then let him go forth. And fall in love all over again.
Then again. You’re the mom. If you’re not ready, nobody can force your hand – or the barber’s, for that matter.
Sarah´s last blog ..Keeping it Zen, Jen
Joie at Canned Laughter Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 8:38 pm
Jen’s right. You’ll know when YOU are ready. But if you’re like me, you’ll cry anyway. And take more pictures than a papparazzo. And save just one of those tender blonde curls in a little envelope in your jewelry box. And? 18 years later, you’ll be glad you did.
Joie at Canned Laughter´s last blog ..Attn: DFW Area Bloggers!
Jo Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 8:40 pm
hahahaha I went through exactly the same thing (I knew my now two year old was my last) but mine had thick curly hair, so he had a ‘fro goin’ on, it was so funny. So when I finally gave in ’cause the thing was reaching Bozo the clown proportions, I gave him a mohawk.
Yeah, way to go to extremes… I just figured, babyhood is over? Fine, so be it.
Jo´s last blog ..Parasitic pussies, or pusillanimous parasites, take your pick
Lawyer Mama Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 8:40 pm
I waited and waited before cutting Holden’s adorable little curls. And then I did it in stages. Just a trim. Then another. Then another. I’m such a wuss, *I* needed baby steps. Sigh….
Lawyer Mama´s last blog ..My Four Year Old Now Speaks in Bullet Points….
Becca Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 8:40 pm
I didn’t even think twice before cutting my 1yo’s hair because he has such straight hair and it was hanging straight down into his eyes so that he looked the same from the front and the back. But I have to say when he emerged from the sheers, he definitely became a little boy. I laughed and cried at the same time. I couldn’t believe the transformation and thought, “my baby is gone”. Alas, he still (at 14 months) isn’t walking and has NO words at all so short hair and all, he is still all baby.
I’d say, if you love his hair (which I think you should -it’s amazing!), keep it but don’t hang onto it as a way to hang onto the baby. As you know (I’m new to your blog but I think you have an older?) toddlerhood brings many new joys along with the hassles too.
Becca´s last blog ..Listed
bre Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 8:41 pm
keep the hair & just wipe his nose (he’s a real cutie pie) heheh
bre´s last blog ..peppery arugula planted
habanerogal Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 8:45 pm
The main thing is both you and daddy need to agree on a plan or something drastic could happen while you are away. I would only trim the front so the snot factor is reduced. Those curls are just too priceless to part with. Later when he is a teenager he might just grow it back.
habanerogal´s last blog ..Beaver-time in Utah
Judy Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 8:47 pm
When my son was six weeks old, my husband, overjoyed with all the testosterone after two daughters, took him to a barber and got his hair cut. It was like a Marine haircut. Shaved on the sides and back, barely there on top. I cried for days.
Keep it. Maybe trim the bangs a little, but keep it if you want it.
nutty mummy Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 8:53 pm
Don’t do it!! I still utterly regret cutting rowan’s baby curls off – it was almost a year ago and she’s nearly 5. Wait a little bit longer
nutty mummy´s last blog ..The Minor Dialogues #10
mrschattypants Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 8:54 pm
I would let it ride. He is adorable and those eyes-gorgeous! Leave the hair for a little longer. He’s still a baby in my book.
mrschattypants´s last blog ..The Cutest Book
Heather @ Domestic Extraordinaire Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 9:09 pm
I say cut it, but more to prevent you coming home from BlogHer to a crew cut or something else. Take him in somewhere and get a trim. Tell the girl (or guy) that you just want to tidy it up. That way your hubs will be happy and you won’t miss out on that very important first hair cut. And you won’t have a heart attack.
But in the end he is your baby and will always be no matter what length his hair is.
xoxo
Heather @ Domestic Extraordinaire´s last blog ..You Capture-Shapes
Tricia (irishsamom) Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 9:11 pm
NO! He’s gorgeous and he’s definitely a he. This rugged look suits him, lol. Don’t cut it. I will never forget the day I cut my 14 month old son’s soft golden locks – he grew up on me right then and there, seriously! KEEP THEM – my vote!
Tricia (irishsamom)´s last blog ..Taking the Road Less Travelled
Amber Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 9:30 pm
My baby boy has tons of hair. I held back the tears and cut it when he was 8 or 9 months old. And it wasn’t as bad as I thought. Really.
I understand wanting to hold off, but I also wanted to let you know that as much as I fought it I still see the same little face looking back at me. Albeit with just a little less hair.
Amber´s last blog ..What Goes Up …
daysgoby Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 9:52 pm
Get together with His Bad Father and lay out what you decide to do. Does HBF work best with dates? Decide on one. Whatever keeps you from coming home to a shorn boy.
(I came home to a shorn GIRL. That was three years ago. I am only NOW beginning to forgive. http://tinyurl.com/krpqat)
daysgoby´s last blog ..housekeeping
daysgoby Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 9:54 pm
Oh! And also, just trimming the bangs is SO MUCH DIFFERENT than going whole-hog and cutting all the curls off. Just neaten up the bangs (yay! No more hair in his food!)and I think you’ll have a very nice compromise you can be happy with.
daysgoby´s last blog ..housekeeping
Ariel Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 11:06 pm
I say DON’T Cut it
I love it, I just want to kiss him! He’s so entirely precious:)
Ariel´s last blog ..Slowly going crazy but surfacing soon
Marianne Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 11:23 pm
As your blog loaded, I took in the picture of Jasper, and thought ” jeepers, this kid needs a hair cut, he’s starting to look like a little girl, a lot like Emilia.” Then I read the first lines under the photo and nearly choked on my beverage as I laughed.
Cutting his hair won’t slow him down, or stop the march of progress into toddlerhood. But the hair hanging into his eyes? Well, you’ve either got to cut it or start holding it back with butterfly clips so he doesn’t have twice the bumps and bruises of the average toddler from not being able to see where he’s going.
Amy W. Said,
July 16, 2009 @ 11:44 pm
I resisted and resisted cutting my Henry’s hair until a month and a half before his second birthday for all the reasons you mention. But the hair in his eyes was bugging him and he wouldn’t keep clips in. Also his little curls in back were getting ragged and painfully tangled.
So, I cut his bangs just enough to get them out of his eyes and trimmed (and saved) each individual curl in back. I emphatically did not want a “boy” i.e. very short haircut. And you know what? He no longer looked like he had a mullet and he actually looked a bit more like his baby self. Maybe just a little trim/styling is all you need to do.
Laura Said,
July 17, 2009 @ 2:18 am
I cut my boys hair when he asked for it to be cut. And yes..I walked in with a baby, and left with BOY.
A PROUD big boy.
Worth it.
Do it when he asks.
(you can always NOT teach him how to talk, ya know)
Theresa Said,
July 17, 2009 @ 8:44 am
Like Issa said, not cutting his hair will not stop him from growing up. He’s adorable, short hair, long hair, it won’t matter to anyone but you and him. I’d ask him.
As for explaining death, that is such a hard question to answer! My oldest was 18 months old when her papa died…she thought he was asleep. I had to tell her he was in heaven and didn’t need his body anymore. She was 4 when my grandma died and has yet to be able to handle that loss because she understood its permanence.
That made me think that getting small pets – the kind that don’t hang around more than a year or three – might help them with the idea of death as a whole, given that we weren’t dealing with a person they loved.
Uh, right. They balled their eyes out when the hamsters died, when the fish were found floating belly up.
I don’t know how you explained the concept of death to her (i.e. is there an afterlife or heaven?) but I can offer that kids will question your answers, cry, pout, get moody and eventually work things out.
My eldest doesn’t handle it well when a pet dies because she lost my grandma. And when I talk about my grandma, she gets very emotional. But she’s otherwise ok.
I don’t think there are any easy answers, but I’d be glad to share what I said to my kids specifically if you’re like via email.
Theresa´s last blog ..I Must Say
Jessie Said,
July 17, 2009 @ 9:50 am
My daughter is just about the same age as Jasper, and is in need of a haircut as well. I can’t bring myself to do it, but luckily it’s socially acceptable for girls to wear barrettes, so I’ve been using those to keep her hair out of her eyes.
Jessie´s last blog ..Some Weekend Excitement
Lindsay Said,
July 17, 2009 @ 9:51 am
I felt the same way about Bruiser. And I finally had it cut at around that age. And you know what? It actually looked…. better. Who knew?!
Just tell them to keep it on the long side, but shape it up a little.
Hairdressers generally want to keep it long, too. At least mine do. They love baby hair as much as we do!
Lindsay´s last blog ..On Death
slee Said,
July 17, 2009 @ 9:52 am
people tell me snapdragon’s hair looks about ready to cut and it just sends me into crazy animalistic defensive mama bear mode.
no cutting on my baby!
i say let it go until he wants a big boy haircut.
don’t be a delilah unless you really want to.
slee´s last blog ..essential to diapering- essential saltes baby
marymac Said,
July 17, 2009 @ 9:53 am
I feel your pain, dude. Satin car and cried when I brought my three year old son to preschool last Sept. Keep trying to force-feed him the boob til he almost bit it off when he was practically two and said “Dude, can I just get some Captain Crunch?”
On the haircut thing tough (and I still cry every time he gets the little buzzy clippers)they look soooooo cute with it short because you can really see their whole little faces, plus patting the buzzy hair is like a teddy bear.
Your son’s hair is maddeningly cute as is, so either way it’s cool!
marymac´s last blog ..Not By The Hair of My Chinny Chin Chin
marymac Said,
July 17, 2009 @ 9:53 am
that would be sat. in. car not satin car. d’oh!
marymac´s last blog ..Not By The Hair of My Chinny Chin Chin
solemom Said,
July 17, 2009 @ 9:56 am
Like mona, daysgoby and a few others have said: there is always the option of just a little trim – especially of the bangs. Though you do run the risk of winding up with a mulletted child that way, which for me was not worth the risk.
I’ve cut my 13 month old’s hair a few times now, but then – it is bone-straight and when it was longer it really just looked like a brutally bad comb-over, unlike Jasper’s gorgeous locks.
But hair grows, and so do babies. Cutting his hair won’t make him any less who he is right now – he might just be able to see a little better.
Christine Said,
July 17, 2009 @ 9:58 am
He’s little….it’s hair….if you love it and he is happy just the way he is, why cut it? My son is 9 and has shoulder length hair. He loves it….so I love it.
Do what works for you. Don’t let others make you feel like you have to do something based on society! Believe me, we get our grief about my son’s hair…all the time. But it’s still long, and now he’s going to grow it out to give to Angel Hair….my daughter just donated hers!
Enjoy!
kgirl Said,
July 17, 2009 @ 9:58 am
I don’t cut the kids’ hair until 2. Not one day before. I can claim it’s for reliious reasons, but it’s because I NEED my babies to remain babies that long. You’re a radical mom – put a clip in his hair.
kgirl´s last blog ..Kgirl’s Book Club – Six Months in Sudan
annettek Said,
July 17, 2009 @ 10:02 am
I must be harsh because I would just do it and get it over with. I think baby boys look adorable with short hair. When it’s short and fuzzy it’s so nice to rub their little heads! I always kept my boy’s hair short and I thought he was super cute with a fresh clean cut.
What freaks me out is that when I met you at BlogHer Boston he was so LITTLE! So yeah, he’ll look a little older with a short cut, but well, I’m sorry to say, he is. Is it possible you’re sort of hanging on to his babyhood because you haven’t decided if there will be another?
annettek´s last blog ..If you aren’t going to BlogHer, well, I’m sorry for this
Her Bad Mother Reply:
July 17th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
BINGO.
kblogger Said,
July 17, 2009 @ 10:09 am
My 2 yo (baby) boy has beautiful springy blond curls. We trim it when it gets in his eyes, or gets too frizzy to tame in the morning, but don’t cut it all the way back. A trim does wonders: makes the hair more manageable, while still keeping the glorious baby-ishness of his curls.
It doesn’t need to be all or nothing!
Jamie Said,
July 17, 2009 @ 10:10 am
My Littlebit (admittedly a girl) has needed a haircut for a full year. We refuse to cut it. Her crazy wild messy hair is as much a part of her personality as the way she says “bye” or climbs into your face to give you a cheesy smile.
I would consider, in Jasper’s case, a trim and then let it grow if you love it.
Jamie´s last blog ..The Return of the Link Love
Erin Said,
July 17, 2009 @ 10:29 am
Motherhood is so bittersweet. Every moment is beautiful (Ok not every moment, but every developmental moment.) The other night I started crying thinking about my little boy (just a tiny bit older than Jasper) growing up. I rejoice in every new stage, but part of me is also aware of how quickly he moves away from me. I cannot bear to give up nursing, for this reason. But this is motherhood – we grow them and birth them and love them and even in bad moments do NOT sell them on ebay for purpose of creating independent creatures who will by turns shrink and run away from us, hide from us, and refuse to return our phone calls. And then they come back to us, in a different form. It is beautiful, and heartbreaking.
No opinion on the hair cut though.
ali Said,
July 17, 2009 @ 10:46 am
i type this as i pet my sons head of long wispy messy baby hair. the thing is he is 22 months! I am being pushed by half of the family to cut it, and to be honest i dont when i will, cause i adore those red baby curls, and i never want them to be gone!
Rory's mom Said,
July 17, 2009 @ 10:47 am
DO NOT CUT HIS HAIR! You will regret it immediately. I speak from experience on this. I made that dreaded mistake and I regret it. Sure it grew back, but never the same as it was then. My boy was about Jaspers age at the time of the cut. He was instantly transformed into a grown up big boy that I was not ready for.
Heide Said,
July 17, 2009 @ 12:01 pm
If his hair isn’t bothering him, then let it flow!!!
Heide´s last blog ..CEiMB: Aromatic Noodles with Lime-Peanut Sauce
Bec Said,
July 17, 2009 @ 1:09 pm
I actually think he’ll look younger if you cut it. My son is a few months older than Jasper and doesn’t have nearly that much hair. I think the long hair makes Jasper look much older than he really is.
kittenpie Said,
July 17, 2009 @ 1:27 pm
I say get it over with – he’ll be adorable and swell your heart in a whole nother way. And fwiw, I’ve cut the Bun’s a few times now, and he’s still sweet!
kittenpie´s last blog ..Lost Boy
Erica Said,
July 17, 2009 @ 2:46 pm
OMG, so true! We cut our son’s hair a little while ago, and I keep wondering where this little boy in our house came from. Your Jasper reminds me so much of our Zack, too. Z’s hair would totally look like Jasper’s if we hadn’t buzzed it.
But they don’t lose any cuteness or adorableness once their hair is cut. I’m more in love now than ever.
Alexicographer Said,
July 17, 2009 @ 3:24 pm
I’m no help but am going to post my own trauma.
My (adult) stepdaughter took my son to a hair place and got his hair cut. Without telling me she was going to do it (or, ahem, asking).
Now I had once allowed her to cut his hair and had asked her to help me with it again.
And actually I am not deeply traumatized by what happened. Really, I’m not. My son is phenomenally lucky to have a lovely, loving older sister who lives in our town and who picks him up and takes him out to do stuff and it was, in fact, a great haircut.
Still, I’m glad it’s growing back to its earlier, disheveled curly toddler-like state.
Her Bad Mother Reply:
July 17th, 2009 at 5:56 pm
Anybody cuts this kid’s hair without my permission (cough*HERBADFATHER*cough) they are going to SUFFER.
Headless Mom Said,
July 17, 2009 @ 3:35 pm
Do not cut it!!!
You know that they grow up faster than you can say “slow down”.
Relish the babyness and ignore the toddler as looooong as you can! He’s delish!
amy Said,
July 17, 2009 @ 6:06 pm
I would cut it. I don’t think you’re EVER going to feel ready to it might be a relief to finally stop dreading losing the baby-ness and embrace the toddler-ness. That’s my 2 cents.
amy´s last blog ..Imagine a Thosand Miles of This
Amber Said,
July 17, 2009 @ 8:03 pm
It took me forever to cut my son’s hair. I didn’t want to give up the curls.
My daughter is 2 and I can’t bring myself to get it cut either. I know I’ll lose the curls again.
Amber´s last blog ..Thanks For Nothing, Dave Hepburn..
katie Said,
July 17, 2009 @ 9:01 pm
Don’t do it yet. Please.
katie´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday: Fulfilling a Dream Edition
pedalprincess Said,
July 17, 2009 @ 11:34 pm
great post and precious pic. who’d think something so simple could be the debate of everyone we know? (or at least all our relative who aren’t shy about sharing their opinion.)
i am in exactly the same boat as you are right now. everyone (husband included) is probing me to cut my son’s hair. meanwhile, he’s not yet two and his hair is thin – much like your son’s.
so i keep putting it off…not wanting to turn my baby into a boy too quickly. there will be plenty of hair cuts. so what’s the rush, i argue? plus, my son has my curls and a cut would distance his (little) resemblance to me that much more.
then I read sarah’s comment:
“Once you cut him you will fall in love all over again with the next stage of Jasper.”
true. and for a moment, i thought i might change my stance. but our babies are growing and changing with so many other ways to celebrate. let us embrace that innocence that is often to quick to escape.
Stone Fox Said,
July 18, 2009 @ 12:10 am
it’s just hair. sorry, but it’s just hair. it’s not the loss of babyhood, because it wouldn’t matter if he was bald or Cousin It, he’s just a baby and therefore is still in his babyhood. and because it is just hair, it will always grow back.
so, having said that, cut it if you want, don’t cut it if you don’t want to. if he is tripping and falling lots because he can’t see through the (very freakin cute makin me laugh) Flock of Seagulls, i’d maybe lean towards getting it cut.
Stone Fox´s last blog ..The End is Near
Her Bad Mother Reply:
July 19th, 2009 at 9:55 am
Laughing out loud at Flock Of Seagulls. TOTALLY.
Amber Said,
July 18, 2009 @ 10:04 am
Don’t “cut” it if you’re not ready. I have a 3 1/2 year old little boy and I didn’t let him have a “cut” until he was 2. I just trimmed it out of his eyes a little. My husband’s only requirement was that I didn’t let the back get long enough to put into a ponytail. They do look so much more like little boys than baby boys as soon as it’s cut. Hold onto the babyhood just a bit longer….it’s so precious.
Clare Said,
July 18, 2009 @ 12:13 pm
Mullet – all business in the front and party in the rear.
The wonderful thing about hair is that is grows, that is what I told myself when our son – who is the same age as Jasper save three days, got his cut on this first birthday. It has now been 2 months and he is back to the shaggy little boy he was prior to chop. We never did have curls, poor guy got my straight thin hair. I agree that I would have mourned the loss of curls.
Her Bad Mother Reply:
July 19th, 2009 at 9:54 am
Jasper’s kind of got a reverse mullet – it’s much longer at the front and sides than it is at the back. SO – party in the front, business in the rear?
Heidi Said,
July 18, 2009 @ 8:32 pm
DONT CUT IT!!! You will regret it later, besides, who doesnt like looking at a little cutie like him. I can only imagin what its like with him falling asleep on your lap, you playing with his hair. Keep it, it isnt killing anybody. He looks boy enough to me, no girlyness there. Just trim up the bangs a little. He is totally rocking the long locks!
As for the life/death/extinction thing, I have no freaking clue what to tell ya. I am still trying to figure out what to say when I have kids and they ask me that.
Heidi
Heidi´s last blog ..So I am accident prone
V. Said,
July 19, 2009 @ 10:00 am
I would like to say you’re observing the Jewish tradition of never cutting a child’s hair until they’re the age of 3. That’s what I’m saying with my girl.
Tina C. Said,
July 19, 2009 @ 1:34 pm
so timely as my 15 month old guy also has much hair in his face! he has more hair than his older bro had at this age, however i will not deviate from my rule which i established with the 1st one: no haircuts until 2 years old. he may eventually have to use some of my hair-bands though. oh well. this way i just stick to the rule and don’t have to dwell on it.
JennyMac Said,
July 19, 2009 @ 3:20 pm
My side of the family has a lot of hair and I child got it. He is only 2 and goes to the barber (out of necessity) every 6 or 7 weeks.
Cute pic.
JennyMac´s last blog ..Take A Bite Of: Raspberry Cream (Birthday) Cupcakes
Andrea Said,
July 19, 2009 @ 6:43 pm
I am in a state because my son just returned from a trip to Grandma’s with a haircut that has butchered the beautiful mop of hair I had been painstakingly growing out since his last and only other haircut. I *know* it is only hair and I *know* it will grow back but it is symbolic of so much more and I just need a moment to gather myself and accept the fact that I can either surrender to the outside world who keeps insisting and somehow managing to keep his hair looking like he’s a “big boy” or try one more time to let it grow and have him look more on his outside the way I feel about him on my inside. And the whole world can tell me I’m crazy but there’s something about this, his hair or now lack thereof, that is cutting me to the quick. I should let go, there will be so many more expressions of his independence that I can’t control (and maybe since I theoretically should be able to control this is why it is so frustrating) that I should just take this as a stepping stone but for now I’m just wallowing in my sadness and pain.
Don’t cut it HBM. Don’t cut it until he asks you to cut it.
Mrs Imelda (friend of MB) Said,
July 19, 2009 @ 6:52 pm
Keep the hair longer a little while. Kids grow up waay too fast. Just don’t wait until he’s 8 like Celine Dion’s kid!
highlyirritable Said,
July 19, 2009 @ 7:13 pm
Two words: baby dreads.
The ultimate in low-maintenance and there ain’t nothin’ sweeter.
highlyirritable´s last blog ..Mean Boys
Mad Woman Said,
July 19, 2009 @ 11:11 pm
If there is one thing that I regret with my son, it would be cutting his hair. He had a mop of hair that was soooo adorable and lovely and I cut it. And now he looks like a boy. He’s almost 5 and has looked like a real boy boy since he was 3. It was a sad day. Hold out as long as you can…maybe til HE asks for a hair cut!
Mad Woman´s last blog ..Six
ZDub Said,
July 20, 2009 @ 3:11 am
Baby T has his sweet little baby curls and everyone keeps telling me to cut his hair.
I feel the exact same way you do.
I can’t stand the thought of cutting it.
Kills me.
Jasper is wicked adorable.
ZDub´s last blog ..Don’t Cry For Me Argentina
Leslie Said,
July 20, 2009 @ 8:04 am
Aw, give the kid a break and cut that mop!
Not that I don’t sympathize with you, I carried my youngest brother around the house (to my parents’ dismay) well past his fifth birthday, pretending he was still a baby.
It’s tought to let go. But my youngest sibling is still “the baby of the family” to me.
Leslie´s last blog ..Too Much Hiney
LaTina Said,
July 20, 2009 @ 10:58 am
Ok, cutting toddler boy hair SUCKS. Especially the front part. And then realizing that once you do it, you must repeat this action every few months. Gah! Also, my soon to be 18 month old boy’s hair still grows back exactly like Jasper’s (after exactly two haircuts). So if you decide you never want to cut his hair again, you might get that baby-locks look back.
My Max is perfectly fine with getting the back and sides of his hair trimmed but all hell breaks loose when you try to trim the front so it’s not in his eyes anymore. I sweep it to the side so no one can tell how horribly uneven the front is.
LaTina´s last blog ..Things Max Did NOT Eat Today
crazylovescomapny Said,
July 20, 2009 @ 9:28 pm
My husband asked when we should cut our 7 month old son’s hair. Is he crazy?!? He doesn’t even have much yet so I can’t think of cutting it ever.
crazylovescomapny´s last blog ..I remember the hat, the pool, and the frogs
Mama in the City Said,
July 21, 2009 @ 12:06 pm
He is such a cutie. Good post. I think if you do cut his hair he will still look like a baby boy….just look at that face! I still seem a bit of baby chub.
Mama in the City´s last blog ..The Great Big Hospital Bag: What to Pack for Your Labor
MommaSunshine Said,
July 21, 2009 @ 1:56 pm
Keep him a baby for as long as possible. It’s all too fleeting as it is.
MommaSunshine´s last blog ..Love Is … Standing In the Rain for Six Hours
Scott Said,
July 21, 2009 @ 3:28 pm
I’ve never understood the “long hair/short hair” debate with males. Then again, I’ve had long hair exclusively since I’m 14, so there’s that…
My BMF kept his 2nd son’s hair long until he was 3, and of course everyone in the world mistook him for a girl. (The son, that is…pronoun issues there…) Whatev. In a weird way, this strikes me as being similar to gay-marriage issues: some people want “marriage” to be ONLY man/woman so that when they tell folks “Hey, I’m married!” they don’t have to immediately defend their sexuality. I use the word “espoused” and don’t worry about what people think; if they want to wonder if I’m partnered with a man, that’s fine…it neither impresses nor harms me. Same with boys: short hair allows people (usually dads) to immediately present their child to the world as “This is my son!”, rather than hearing “Oh, your daughter is so precious!” and then having to explain.
I like the idea of letting Jasper decide when he’s old enough to figure it out.
Scott´s last blog ..My Support Can Be Bought
Little Treats - blog links for july 24 | mommyswhoblog.com Said,
July 24, 2009 @ 5:54 pm
[...] Baby boy locks (Her Bad Mother) [...]
Leilani Said,
August 5, 2009 @ 6:52 pm
For info on dinosaurs & God, check out answersingenesis.org
If you haven’t already, don’t cut Jasper’s hair!