This Is The Way The World Ends, Not With A Bang, But A Haircut

February 18, 2010

This boy?

mop-headed-jib-2

This wee, mop-headed baby boy is gone. With one careless, husband-directed trip to the hair salon, he is no more. He is now boy-boy. Again, only more so this time, so much more – I don’t know – Junior Banker, if Junior Bankers had front comb-overs, which I suppose some of them do:

banker-jib

I don’t think that my heart can stand this, all this change. Am I going to shatter every time that he gets a haircut? Am I going to fall to pieces every time one of his curls hits the floor of a SuperCuts and gets swept away by a hard-bristled broom?

He grows and he grows and he grows and every inch of him changes, every day, and I find myself resisting it, his movement forward, his journey up and out of babyhood, this journey that will take him through boyhood and through adolescence and beyond, ever further away from me, and ugh, this is how it starts, doesn’t it, the inevitable, terrible transformation of a mother into desperate, grasping creature of need, into a woman who cannot let go of her children, who cannot, especially, let go of her son, who wants to keep him clasped to her chest forever, always close, always hers, her baby?

Is this inevitable? Am I doomed to have my heart shattered endlessly? Am I going to turn into a desperate, clingy, salon-averse harpy who hisses at all who would take her child or her locks away from me? Will I be the worst mother-in-law in the history of the world, ever? I AM TERRIFYING MYSELF, GODS HELP ME.

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    { 82 comments }

    Heather Ann February 18, 2010 at 12:56 am

    Okay, that is one heavy poem to throw up as the title for this post! I remember in grade 12 having that as part of our English reading list and when I went back and read it tonight I laughed at all that I had obviously not understood then. (Spasm? – Definitely did not get that then.)

    My son knocked his two upper front teeth out when he was two. A few days ago his first permanent tooth actually broke through in the spot which has remained empty for five years. I wept when he lost those teeth because it was going to be so long before I saw him with teeth again. And then, as these teeth appeared, I wept because I realized I was never going to see the smile with the baby teeth again. Somehow, for five years, I deluded myself into thinking I was going to see his sweet two-year-old face with baby teeth again. And now he is seven and my baby is gone…

    Time passes so quickly now that we are adults. Our children grow at lightening speed and we say, “Stop, slow down, I need you to be just like this for longer, for ever.” But they don’t stop. They don’t slow down – and from the day they are born they seem to be pulling away from us. So, we watch them grow and rejoice and grieve at the same time. You are experiencing what every mother feels and not doing a better or a worse job of it. It just is that. Joyful and painful all at once. Clasp him to your breast. Hold on to him as tightly as you need to. You are teaching him about love and that will make you the best mother in law ever.

    Big hugs.

    Her Bad Mother February 19, 2010 at 11:02 am

    I was feeling kind of heavy ;) (and thank you ;) )

    Beth February 18, 2010 at 12:56 am

    So, I asked P what he thought would happen if he’d taken Ben for a haircut without discussing it with me first. He says, “Oh, you would have been fine with it as long as I brought you some curls.”

    My eyes got very, very wide and I about fell over. Then informed him that the correct answer was he would have been looking for a good emergency room to get his hearing checked from the screaming that I would do.

    I do totally understand. Because of the whole shaved head thing, Katie is just now starting to have, like, real girl hair. It’s kind of frightening.
    .-= Beth´s last blog ..WFMW: Trying Curriculum On For Size =-.

    Stone Fox February 18, 2010 at 1:54 am

    when my nephew was born, my sister in law said, “i wouldn’t mind if he was gay; that way, i’d be the only woman in his life.”

    you see? we all want to hold our boys close to us and be their main squeezes.

    Andria Stanley February 18, 2010 at 2:18 am

    I cried when my little boy had his first haircut, at 12 months. He just seemed… so… older.
    .-= Andria Stanley´s last blog ..Day In The Life Of =-.

    Daffodil Campbell February 18, 2010 at 2:23 am

    My son had goldilock curls, long blonde ringlets from heaven……and then, one day, he told me “I wanna haircut. Eberybunny tinks I’m a gewl.” After I finally deciphered what the hell he was saying, I tried to ignore it. Until, finally, my husband suggested that we acquiece. So the man and the boy went off to the barber, and 2 men came back. That’s all there is to it. My baby was gone.

    Now 9, he rocks a serious mohawk, and a ton of temporary tattoos, and marches around in baggy jeans and a white tank top. And I am OK with that. I miss the curls, but I love the little man.
    .-= Daffodil Campbell´s last blog ..So cold I can’t feel my toes – the perfect time for a pedicure ! =-.

    Her Bad Mother February 19, 2010 at 11:04 am

    I might not have minded so much if I’de come home to a mohawk. It’s the *bankerness* of the buzz cut that weirded me out, you know?

    Rachael February 18, 2010 at 3:28 am

    Little boy haircuts are the worst. Mine is 2.5 and it still makes him look SO FREAKING BIG when he gets a haircut. If it’s any consolation, your son is totally adorable.

    Elizabeth February 18, 2010 at 3:48 am

    I’ve thought about all of this too and can’t imagine my baby boy growing up and leaving me, even though inevitably that’s our job as mothers, to ultimately let them go. My babe hasn’t had a haircut yet (he’s almost 14 months) and won’t need one for a while but I know it’s going to be tragic for me when it happens! I never thought I’d be this way – not in a million years – but I can’t help it. It doesn’t help that he’s been independent since day one! But we have to enjoy each minute we have and somehow somewhere along the way prepare ourselves for when they sever ties (yeah right!)

    BTW It’s totally understandable that the change is hard for you but if it helps any, your lil guy’s hair cut looks absolutely adorable!
    .-= Elizabeth´s last blog ..Will you be mine? =-.

    Her Bad Mother February 19, 2010 at 11:05 am

    Thank you ;)

    WarsawMommy February 18, 2010 at 4:42 am

    I kept Max’s hair from his first haircut. It’s in an envelope upstairs, in my box of ‘special stuff’. This box has the boys’ birth certificates and medical histories and the memorial book from my Dad’s funeral and my favourite wedding photo. This is the box that I take with me if I ever need to run out of a burning building.

    I feel your pain and your panic. I look at those little blond curls in the envelope and I just ache – he had ‘big boy’ hair now and has no patience for floppiness. But I miss it.
    .-= WarsawMommy´s last blog ..I Weep For Rice Krispies =-.

    Amanda February 18, 2010 at 7:09 am

    If its any consolation, he is an adorable little boy!
    .-= Amanda´s last blog ..Childhood Memories =-.

    I am THAT mommy February 18, 2010 at 7:59 am

    My son is four and I refuse to cut his hair.

    That means that his white blond hair — so unlike the dark hair both his father and I wear — trickles down in little curls to his shoulders, and falls in his eyes and requires much brushing, but I don’t care because I cannot stand the idea of cutting those locks.

    I found out a few weeks ago that he and his father had discussed getting haircuts, and — in the two years since our divorce — this was probably the biggest fight we’ve had because he went ahead and made an appointment. After a fuming conversation I’ve agreed to let it be trimmed, but I am going to the salon with them and I have given extremely detailed instructions on what hairs may and may not be cut.

    I don’t know what I’m afraid, if it’s some sort of Samson-like story where if he cuts his hair he won’t be him anymore, or if I’m just afraid of change, but I dread next Friday — the Day of the Cut — like you wouldn’t believe.
    .-= I am THAT mommy´s last blog ..Welcome to the circus inside my head … =-.

    Her Bad Mother February 19, 2010 at 11:14 am

    I wrote about exactly that – the Samson thing – last summer. I wondered if I was going through some kind of counter-Delilah experience, wherein I was *afraid* of depriving him of his power by cutting his hair. Which is crazy, I know, but still. You know ;)

    Karen February 18, 2010 at 8:25 am

    My oldest son is 17 and getting ready for college and yes, the heartbreaks are constant. BUT I’ve become convinced that the reason for the heartbreaks is to make room for my heart to expand so it can continue to hold my children as they grow and take steps out into the world. I’m sure it sounds corny – but it lets me sleep at night and keeps me from dissolving into a puddle of goo at the mere thought of September.
    .-= Karen´s last blog ..Half-Baked – The Musical =-.

    Her Bad Mother February 19, 2010 at 11:14 am

    So I’m right that it never ends, then. AGH.

    Maureen@IslandRoar February 18, 2010 at 9:23 am

    Yes, the answer is yes. Oh, it won’t always be the curls. It’ll be the facial hair, the loss of baby fat on the face, the first real girlfriend, the day he leaves for college…
    When my son came home after being at that first semester of college, his neck was wider, his shoulders broader; he looked like a man. I wanted to cry.
    Your little boy is beautiful. And Great hair!

    kootnygirl February 18, 2010 at 9:43 am

    Is it harder with boys than with girls? I remember my sadness, mixed with pride, when my baby girl got her blond curls cut off and immediately became a teenager (okay, I exaggerate, but still).

    On the other hand, would you really want him to grow up looking like Celine Dion’s son? At some point, it really is just hair.

    And anyway, Jasper is the cutest junior banker I’ve ever seen.
    .-= kootnygirl´s last blog ..spot =-.

    Marie February 18, 2010 at 9:45 am

    It’s just a haircut. Hair grows back. This is a tad dramatic, no?

    Lacey February 18, 2010 at 12:00 pm

    I don’t think it dramatic at all. She was not aware that the haircut was coming. It was done without her knowledge or consent, though not sneakily or with malice. It is a big deal for a boy to get his first haircut, she was not even afforded the opportunity to be present when it happened.

    My son was 18 months old before I consented to let his hair be cut, I was present, I cried when he went from a baby boy to a little boy. It’s natural to be crushed by the reality of your baby no longer being a baby.

    Her Bad Mother February 19, 2010 at 11:16 am

    I think that it’s a mother’s prerogative to be dramatic.

    sue February 19, 2010 at 3:32 pm

    Clearly.

    Annie @ PhD in Parenting February 18, 2010 at 9:47 am

    The first one is the worst. It gets better…
    .-= Annie @ PhD in Parenting´s last blog ..Why I check my stats and why you should too =-.

    Jon February 18, 2010 at 10:02 am

    Its exactly as you said every inch of him changes, however that does not mean he is drifting away from you. all boys drift for a moment but we always come back to our moms for their unconditional support, love and usually for a good meal (even if its purchased). I would wager you will get your heart broken but not endlessly. we tend to do that, sorry. But sons never forget their mothers and always need them, sometimes.

    Her Bad Mother February 19, 2010 at 11:17 am

    This? What you just said? Helps a LOT.

    Thank you.

    Tammy March 7, 2010 at 7:58 pm

    How beautifully said. Helps for me too, who spent a goodly part of a “nap” (you know, the thing you fake to get your 4 year old to sleep) memorizing the quality of the light on his face. ‘K, really, I am not obsessed, but I do feel the passage of time. And sometimes it makes my heart swell.
    .-= Tammy´s last blog ..Highways and byways: to Laramie via Laguna. =-.

    masterrmindmommy February 18, 2010 at 10:02 am

    I remember my son’s first hair cut. I can’t remember who cried more. I too still have some of his curls in an envelope in my jewlery box, along with all his baby teeth.it gets easier with each consecutive cut. Now I do it myself with the buzzer and my cute little boy is now 7 and annoying, but still cute and still mine.

    habanerogal February 18, 2010 at 10:03 am

    It will grow back and when he is about 16 or 17 he will grow it long an it will either make you swoon or want to drag him to the barber to get it cut. The changes they are a comin’
    .-= habanerogal´s last blog ..On Resolutions =-.

    Lynn R. February 18, 2010 at 10:07 am

    I totally understand. My now 13 month old has the prettiest curl to his hair and I don’t want to cut it either. My husband is so wanting to get his haircut, but I’m not ready.

    Laura February 18, 2010 at 10:23 am

    Oh, I feel your pain. I cringe every time my son goes to the barbershop with my husband. It is their special time together, so I don’t dare sneak him to a salon and have them cut it the way I want to, but…. I sure am tempted. Benjamin has BEAUTIFUL red hair, something that is unique about him. SO, when he came home one day with ALL of his hair cut off (a “burr”, we call it) – I was livid. My husband’s argument was that it was summer and this is how lots of little boys wear their hair, it would be cooler for him, etc. We haven’t had that again, but we’ve had several ‘flat top’ cuts. I beg him to just have it moderately cut everytime he goes…..sometimes he complies, sometimes not….

    Stacey February 18, 2010 at 10:39 am

    haircuts and little boys are serious business. i cried when my husband took my little one to get a ridiculous “business man” cut — and I promptly grew it back. I am the harpie you described — overly explaining to stylists that “I DO NOT want a military cut or business man cut — i just want you to trim the ends out of his eyes please.” They always know best.

    because I don’t want him to grow up just yet — i am not ready for him to be a boy. a baby he is to me. time slips away — and it shouldn’t — as quickly as a haircut.

    My son has no preference (other than to see), so this is something I don’t feel terrible about. His longish locks leave him looking like the baby he still is — instead of the boy he may one day be.
    .-= Stacey´s last blog ..Lazy/Cheap Mom Valentines =-.

    Her Bad Mother February 19, 2010 at 11:33 am

    That was/is Jasper. Long locks – baby. Short locks – BOY.

    sigh.

    Dina Williams February 18, 2010 at 10:42 am

    Thank you for this piece. I remember when we cut off my son’s ringlets. They never really came back. We did the deed ourselves, at home, and I’ve still got his hair in a box. (That sounds really weird now that I put it out there.) He’s 8 now and he’s a great kid. But I miss that baby….

    Angie February 18, 2010 at 10:58 am

    The haircut kills me every time with lil man. I thought it would just be the first time but each time I hate to watch it fall. Hugs to you!

    Slow Panic February 18, 2010 at 12:43 pm

    my boys are 7 and 11. i can still feel that rip in my heart when they got their hair cuts as toddlers. every time it aged them by a year, i swear. i hated it.

    now i drag them in for haircuts and say, “dang it, sit down you look horrible”

    but their are other things that kill me. you are right. it is just the beginning.
    .-= Slow Panic´s last blog ..Another Fascinating Post About My Life =-.

    AF February 18, 2010 at 2:29 pm

    I realize that I’m probably going to be exactly like this when I have a child, specifically (hopefully) a son. However, this post just made me think of how much my mother-in-law clings to my husband and his brothers whenever we go visit her. It makes me feel so unbelievably uncomfortable. Cut the cord.

    Her Bad Mother February 19, 2010 at 11:36 am

    I think that I can keep the cord for a while longer. I mean, Jasper’s 21 months old. I might give it a few years.

    Tina C. February 18, 2010 at 2:30 pm

    sit next to me — i’ll be right there with you. (i’ve got 2 boys.)

    Ali February 18, 2010 at 2:44 pm

    I love my boy’s hair. He started big school a few weeks ago and almost immediately got head lice. Right now I’m contemplating shaving the lot of because, ew, head lice! Ah!

    Her Bad Mother February 19, 2010 at 3:30 pm

    Yeah. I might be a little less upset if the hair cut was for the cause of STOPPING LICE. Ah, indeed!

    Sarah @ Smallslice February 18, 2010 at 3:24 pm

    doomed, yes. We are all doomed. Mom = doomed.
    .-= Sarah @ Smallslice´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.

    Sarah Lena February 18, 2010 at 3:25 pm

    We just did this with mine this weekend. I knew it was time, it was me that made the appointment, and yet? I was devastated. When I dropped him off at daycare on Monday, everyone said, “Look how BIG he looks!”

    I pretty much wanted to punch them all in the throat.

    kittenpie February 18, 2010 at 3:28 pm

    The Bun’s hair was so plentiful right from the start that I started cutting it when he was only a few months old – I actually really like the little boy hair, and it’s cute on Jasper here, too. But I DO know what you mean, it’s just that for me, it’s the sweet round cheeks. When those start to melt into a more defined facial structure, I am going to be a MESS.
    .-= kittenpie´s last blog ..Today =-.

    Her Bad Mother February 19, 2010 at 3:31 pm

    When the cheeks go, I will die.

    jennifercanada February 18, 2010 at 3:28 pm

    I got emotional when I took my daughter for her first haircut. She had a mullet so something needed to be done but still they seem so much more grown up after.

    Brenna February 18, 2010 at 3:29 pm

    That first haircut is so traumatic, at least for my boys. My husband would never dare to take any of my kids to get their first one without me! It so changes them! I have yet to get my girl’s haircut, even though she probably needs one. She can stay a baby a little longer, right?
    .-= Brenna´s last blog ..Love and stuff.. =-.

    Tiffany February 18, 2010 at 3:29 pm

    I feel ya on the sentiment, but not the hair thing. Haircuts never bothered me. I didn’t even keep any hair from my son’s first hair cut. It just wasn’t on my radar to be an issue. But the growing up? Oh, that I hate. God bless the woman who tries to take my son away from me. And I’m only half joking…
    .-= Tiffany´s last blog ..Do It Like They Do On The Discovery Channel =-.

    melissa February 18, 2010 at 3:29 pm

    While I can’t speak for a boy’s first haircut, I cut my daughter’s hair for the first time just before Christmas (at nearly 16 months old). I spent a lot of time at Christmas telling my family that I couldn’t believe just how much she looked like a little girl and not a baby.

    And that was just her bangs so she could see! I couldn’t imagine how it would feel to see such a complete change so unexpectedly.
    .-= melissa´s last blog ..Talking, climbing and kind of walking =-.

    wn February 18, 2010 at 3:32 pm

    wow, I SO get this one…

    I’ve actually commented before on Jasper’s hair…I have a wee guy, just a bit older than Jasper and I had his haircut recently.

    I was the one who planned it, executed it…and I STILL freaked the hell out when it happened.

    In the morning he looked like THIS

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/wordnerd/4243335274/

    Then in the afternoon, he looked like THIS.

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/wordnerd/4280524912/

    It’s been 3 weeks…am slowly recovering.
    PS – He is still beautiful.

    Her Bad Mother February 19, 2010 at 3:32 pm

    ***awwwww***

    SO PRECIOUS.

    Alison February 18, 2010 at 3:43 pm

    the first cut is the deepest…
    .-= Alison´s last blog ..Shock and Awe =-.

    Amy February 18, 2010 at 3:51 pm

    I am relieved that my daughter can have her hair as long as she wants. She is 3.5 and has never had a haircut. Well, the two errant curls that stuck out of the sides of her head when she was a baby and are now in a zip-lock bag don’t count. I’m thinking maybe she’ll get her first haircut for her fourth birthday and the thought of it is killing me already. My husband is more opposed to her first cut than I am!

    Her Bad Mother February 22, 2010 at 9:59 pm

    Emilia didn’t get her hair cut until well after turning two, because it was so wispy. And yes, I choked up for that, too.

    Janet February 18, 2010 at 4:05 pm

    Aw, your little guy. The first haircut always made me wistful.

    Funny thing, now my boy is almost 11 and he won’t cut his hair during hockey season. He is currently sporting awesome Farah-inspired wings on the sides. Even the mere suggestion of a trim earns us “the look.”
    .-= Janet´s last blog ..No Words =-.

    Her Bad Mother February 22, 2010 at 10:00 pm

    I would love for either of my children to have Farrah wings in their hair. I would never ever let anyone cut it.

    Loukia February 18, 2010 at 4:15 pm

    Do you know how gorgeous your son is? Pre-AND-POST hair-cut! But I get it. My 2 year old totally needs a haircut right now, and I can’t bring myself to take him… I love his long messy hair… sigh…
    .-= Loukia´s last blog ..Tips for a new mom =-.

    Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting February 18, 2010 at 4:24 pm

    Oh, it’s AWFUL, their first cut, isn’t it? The hair they’ve had since birth being pruned away as though those snippets weren’t good enough. But they’re our babies, everything is good enough! Any part of their babydom that’s stripped is painstaking to witness (or, in your case, not witness). I am dreading my youngest’s first hair cut, which he is creeping up on needing. His hair isn’t curling like his siblings, sadly :(
    .-= Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting´s last blog ..My Kids Sleep Weird. Period. =-.

    Crabby Mommy February 18, 2010 at 5:30 pm

    I so feel your pain. Little Dude has his first haircut in December. He was 26 months and had a head full of curls. I put off the cut as long as possible, but every time I put a hat on him, he would cry and pull it off because the hat was pulling his hair. After the cut, there was that sudden transformation from baby to boy. I spent the next two days pouting over the loss of my baby boy and just staring at him, remarking how different he looked.

    Now – two months later – I am used to his shorter hair. I’ll be OK when he goes in for his next hair cut. I’ve learned to accept that I’m a mom to a little boy and not a baby.

    It doesn’t mean that I don’t stare wistfully at those baby pictures with the longer hair.
    .-= Crabby Mommy´s last blog ..State of Denial =-.

    LibraryGirl62 February 18, 2010 at 5:34 pm

    My baby boy had glorious curly RED locks and his daddy made my get them cut off. I cried-like you, my baby was gone replaced by a boy! Now, within a month of getting his first car, I realize I have lost my boy to a big scary man beast grunting in his room…it hurts and makes me cry. But I love him even more than that first minute they handed me that little red-haired bundle-and I didn’t think that was possible! Enjoy him-he’s awesome!

    Neen February 19, 2010 at 1:17 pm

    MY sixteen year old told me the other day that his girlfriend and what she wanted came first in his heart. Ouch. Not that I blame him, she’s exactly the girl I always wished for him, (kind, samrt, funny, generous, thoughtfull, sweet, beautiful, gracefull….) but, still, Ouch.

    He couldn’t have met her when he was 30 and I was a few more years away from his promise to always love me best and never leave me?

    Her Bad Mother February 19, 2010 at 3:33 pm

    Is it wrong that I laughed out loud at that? I laugh because I KNOW.

    Elizabeth (@claritychaos) February 20, 2010 at 6:40 pm

    I relate to this – even though my hubby’s parents loved me from the start, my MIL had a really hard time when we were getting married (in the process of the events) because I think it was the first time she had to acknowledge she was no longer the #1 woman in his life, even though that shift had actually happened many years earlier.
    .-= Elizabeth (@claritychaos)´s last blog ..my poet =-.

    Issa February 18, 2010 at 6:29 pm

    I don’t know. I think it’s hard to let go in any small way, because we know the big ways aren’t far behind it.

    I find myself still rocking my 17 month old to sleep at night. I still let him have a bottle at night and in the morning. Not because he doesn’t use a cup all day just fine, but because I want to keep him tiny, for just a bit longer.
    .-= Issa´s last blog ..Two Valium and a bottle of wine… =-.

    Her Bad Mother February 19, 2010 at 3:34 pm

    “I think it’s hard to let go in any small way, because we know the big ways aren’t far behind it.”

    Yes. EXACTLY.

    goofdad February 18, 2010 at 6:59 pm

    No … it began months ago when you just barely made it to the hospital.

    It continues with a haircut, and will continue for years to come. The changes don’t stop happening, and they often take you by surprise, often make you cry silently and in secret. They grow up, just as we did. They become little people, then big people.

    Hold on while you can, and enjoy it while you can. Keep the memories, but savor the moment. It’s all we can do!
    .-= goofdad´s last blog ..You never forget your first =-.

    Her Bad Mother February 22, 2010 at 10:00 pm

    *sigh* I know.

    Ami February 19, 2010 at 9:01 am

    It’s a punch in the gut when any of your kids make a leap forward into that messy, foggy process of growing up. However, it is so much worse when it’s the LAST child. When it’s your last child, doors are closed and locked forever with each new milestone achieved or grown-up task mastered.

    The only possible survival is to keep looking steadfastly forward. Avoid the fate of Lot’s wife as she gazed backward forlornly. I can only imagine what the mommy-equivalent of being turned to salt is.

    Her Bad Mother February 19, 2010 at 3:35 pm

    “The only possible survival is to keep looking steadfastly forward. Avoid the fate of Lot’s wife as she gazed backward forlornly. I can only imagine what the mommy-equivalent of being turned to salt is.”

    Wisely said. I may need to borrow that analogy.

    red pen mama February 19, 2010 at 11:07 am

    My children (both girls) break my heart every day. The fact that they can get their own juice boxes out of the refrigerator, the fact that my 5yo is thisclose to reading on her own, the fact that they go to daycare and school and have friends and a life outside of my arms.

    I don’t know if(when?) it is harder or different when they are boys. Some days, I want to find out and some days I think my heart cannot take the shattering either.
    .-= red pen mama´s last blog ..Twitter-ish =-.

    Ironic Mom February 19, 2010 at 2:12 pm

    I may be a bit alone here (or a bad mother), but I celebrate these stages more than mourn them. My life changed for the better when my twins (now 5) started opening up the minivan door, climbing in, and putting on their own seat belts.

    I adore long hair on boys, but my son has straight semi-lifeless hair so he looks far better in a banker cut.

    I think any change in life requires a goodbye and a hello; it is the same with the stages our children pass through. However, even though I’ve rambled, I loved Jon’s comment above. I do hope my son (whom my husband sometimes calls Oedipus) will always need his mom, just a wee bit.
    .-= Ironic Mom´s last blog ..Tantrums and Knuckleheaded Parenting Ideas =-.

    Her Bad Mother February 19, 2010 at 3:37 pm

    Celebrating the stages, yes – well said, and such good advice. But I’ll be wiping away some tears during the celebrating.

    Catootes February 19, 2010 at 5:20 pm

    I came home from a 10 day vacation to find that my baby boy was now taller than I am and his voice was cracking.

    My heart fell and shattered into a thousand pieces when I had to look up a bit into his eyes. It crystallized anew when he hugged me tight and whispered how happy he was that I was home.

    He’s 14 and I see the soft blond hair that used to curl around his cheeks in my hearts memory even while he rubs his hand over his super short crew cut and tells me he needs a hair cut.

    It is growth.
    .-= Catootes´s last blog ..olympic figure skating scoring surely is a befuddling mess =-.

    the mombshell February 19, 2010 at 8:52 pm

    a haircut?! we are talking big boy underwear over here! my first born, whose little bum i cradled as he was put to my breast mere seconds after he was born. in big boy underwear! little briefs! the ball is rolling now towards the inevitable hairy man butt in a pair of old boxers with the elastic band shot! my baby boy! it is too much to bare, I mean bear.

    Judy February 19, 2010 at 10:14 pm

    When my son was 6 weeks old, my husband took him and got his hair cut. It was a regular jarhead thing and never repeated.

    Boy children are different. With girls, we’ve been through girlhood ourselves, we know what’s coming, we accept it more. But with a boy child, it seems more painful to see them turn from cuddly bliss to one of those hairy, spitting, farting, incomprehensible creatures we call “men”. I think we tend to cling more to the babyness of our sons. I feel your pain, Catherine, but he’s still a gorgeous baby.

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