All I Want For Mother’s Day Is All This And A Bag Of Chips

May 3, 2011

I’m kind of a Mother’s Day curmudgeon. I’m one of those grumpy moms who says, when asked what I’d like for Mother’s Day, ‘a day off,’ because, seriously, isn’t spending a day not being a mom the very best way to spend the day on which motherhood is celebrated? The thing is, when I say this, I don’t really mean it. I don’t actually want a day off from being a mom. Sure, I’d love to have a day  or an afternoon all to myself in which I get to lay on the sofa and eat chips and watch Buffy reruns (you are shocked, shocked to hear this, I know), but I wouldn’t really want my family to disappear for that day. I’d rather that they just, you know, mostly occupy themselves in some space adjacent to my relaxation space – go to the park, play in the yard, clean their rooms, that kind of thing – and make periodic appearances to give me hugs and tell me how awesome I am as I lay there in all of my chip-munching, Buffy-watching, slothful glory. Which, okay, is kind of like taking the day off from motherhood, but not entirely, because key to this whole scenario is that I still get to enjoy all of the awesome of being a mom (toddler kisses, general adoration) with none of the work.

Also – full disclosure – I actually like Mother’s Day brunches, because they involve all of the awesome of regular brunches but also usually include mimosas and smoked salmon and no-one is allowed to give you the stink-eye if your children misbehave. And I like the cards that my kids make me, and I also like flowers. So, yeah. A day on which I was permitted to sleep in, then taken to brunch and showered with cards and flowers and then given free and independent reign over the living room sofa and television would really be my ideal Mother’s Day. But don’t tell anybody that. Except my husband, maybe, but he should already know that when I say ‘nothing, just a day off, God‘ and wave my hands in exasperation, what I really mean is ‘cards and flowers and brunch and a bag of chips and for you guys to go amuse yourselves while I watch Buffy reruns but also for you guys to come hug me between episodes so that I don’t get lonely, okay?’

Anyway. Here’s me chatting about what I want for Mother’s Day with Heather and Heather at Momversation. I only get sort of curmudgeonly. I totally don’t admit to the brunch thing, though.

What do you really want for Mother’s Day? You can say ‘a day off.’ You can mean it, too.

(And if you’re looking for something different to do to mark Mother’s Day, consider participating in this little project. It’s kind of awesome.)

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    Amber Doty May 3, 2011 at 1:51 pm

    I’d like to use the bathroom without an audience or anyone trying to help me wipe. ;)

    RidgewoodMom May 5, 2011 at 9:09 am

    That is a good one!!! Or the desperate knocking on the door as you GOD FORBID want some privacy. @Amber Doty,

    Her Bad Mother May 6, 2011 at 8:36 am

    @RidgewoodMom, I’d like to have a bath alone for once.

    Her Bad Mother May 6, 2011 at 8:37 am

    @Amber Doty, I’d also like to go a day without someone requiring me to help THEM wipe.

    Eliza May 3, 2011 at 2:13 pm

    ever since i had my little girl, my mom and i go spend a couple of hours on mothers day by ourselves doing something. Like shopping or getting pedicures. I love it, its my favorite thing to do for mothers day. I also insist upon not making dinner on this day.

    Jenifer May 3, 2011 at 2:42 pm

    As much as my crew love to make me breakfast in bed…breakfast out is the ultimate treat!

    Her Bad Mother May 6, 2011 at 8:37 am

    @Jenifer, yeah, I’m a breakfast-out, let’s-go-to-brunch girl. I insist on it on M’s Day.

    Minka May 3, 2011 at 3:11 pm

    My usual routine starts out with deciding the foods of the day, ie: my favorite breakfast, favorite lunch, favorite dinner. See, it’s really all about the food. Oh, and the snacks, too. Gotta work those in as well. In years past, I took myself to two movies in a row… broken up only by me stopping at a cafe in between to order a latte, a snack, and do the NY Times crossword puzzle by myself. Y’know, like in the old days, when there was still time to linger over coffee and puzzles. Then I come home to whatever dinner I’ve requested, and eat it joyfully with my family, who I have now spent several hours away from and miss terribly. And then we all eat my favorite dessert together, which usually involves a sh*tload of ice cream and hot fudge. Then we cuddle on the couch and watch whatever we can agree on (though I get to decide ultimately) and I drink as much wine/martini/champagne as I can without getting sick, and my husband stays on duty so I can pass out on my bed later with a smile on my face. I’m sure my husband wishes I’d be in bed with a smile on my face for other reasons, or that he’d also be in the bed with a smile on his face, but c’mon… it’s mother’s day. Between that full-stomach and overly-taxed liver… Seriously??

    Her Bad Mother May 6, 2011 at 8:38 am

    @Minka, ooooh, going to a movie alone???? EXCELLENT IDEA.

    Minka May 6, 2011 at 9:03 am

    @Her Bad Mother, and it gets even better: LARGE popcorn washed down by LARGE diet coke, neither of which have to be SHARED! It’s fantastic. Truly. And you can even see shit with subtitles without anyone else grumbling about it. i usually try to fit in at least one foreign/indie on mothers day. Hope you have a great one! (and still thinking about your mom…).

    Asa's Mummy May 3, 2011 at 3:19 pm

    A quiet corner with a good book. And snacks. And drinks.

    But I’m not going to get it, because we’re a two-mom family, and neither of us is quite willing to claim fathers’ day as our own. So we tend to go out for a meal and otherwise just try to do something kid-friendly and fun. Park, zoo, playground, Pixar movie.

    Courtney @ The Mommy Matters May 3, 2011 at 4:34 pm

    Don’t feel bad. Most days I tend to think that I would prefer a day off from motherhood on Mother’s day, too.

    Ali May 3, 2011 at 4:51 pm

    I’m one of those moms who truly doesn’t care what I do for Mother’s Day. However, if you TELL me what I’m going to be doing and it doesn’t meet my standards I’m gonna get mad…yeah, I’m a little bitter about my plans for Sunday.

    chezmonchichi May 3, 2011 at 5:26 pm

    I opted out of the champagne brunch this year, because I thought it would be cute to get my first mother’s day breakfast in bed (she’s 2.5 yrs old). I may regret that decision. I did insist on having champagne with that breakfast in bed though. Ultimately, I want a real nap. Not one that’s timed with my daughter’s nap.

    corasmom May 3, 2011 at 6:42 pm

    I would be totally into Buffy reruns with nachos and magaritas on the side. While my husband and daughter do something that does not involve making a mess I end up cleaning or a clash of their stubborn personalities. That would be a truly lovely day!

    Rachel May 3, 2011 at 7:08 pm

    I want… in no particular order…
    a day off
    new running shoes
    new running clothes
    more hours in the day
    money to shop for really nice clothes
    Not having to clean up after anyone, and having it all be cleaned up whenI come out of hiding.

    I’m sure there’s more, but is that too much to ask?!

    Kristi May 3, 2011 at 7:53 pm

    Please, I have a copy of the Firefly series waited to be loved on. Unfortunately, my three, four and five year old are unable to appreciate the loveliness of Nathan Fillion. An entire day without hearing the words, “Mooooooommmmmeeeeeeee” or “Mo-om!” would be great, but would probably send my body into shock.

    Mother’s Day has never been a big deal- even to my mom. My husband has picked up my dad’s tradition of getting up with the kids every Saturday morning and making pancakes with them. I get to sleep in (neglect my children) until at least seven, seven thirty until the delicate thundering of my little elephants jumping on my bed and the smell of coffee tempt me to go downstairs. Even when my folks come to visit, my mom and I hide out while we hear my little people fight over who gets to help Dad and Grandpa whisk, crack, stir, etc.

    Mother’s Day is leftover pancakes, going to church and spending the day enjoying home made cards and home made food. Not too shabby. But oh yes, a day alone would be bliss….

    Amy May 3, 2011 at 8:29 pm

    I really and truly do want a day off. But I think I need to set my sights elsewhere. So this would be a perfect Mothers’ Day for me: Sleep in and wake up on my own terms. Have breakfast with my family (that I did not have to prepare in any way), who patiently waited for me to wake up even though they’ve been awake for 2 hours. Be presented with flowers and chocolate and other niceties. Then at some point in the day I’d like a few uninterrupted hours to sew and/or putz about in my sewing room. Maybe a nice walk in the woods would be good too!

    Liz Friedman May 3, 2011 at 8:33 pm

    I like to be celebrated, loved and adored. But that usually lasts for about 5 minutes while the lilacs are being presented and then it’s back to the regular routine. I like the 5 minutes. Maybe I’ll see if they can increase it by 5 minutes this year. There are a lot of years of this mother’s day stuff ahead of us so if we increase the loving and adoring and doting on by 5 minutes every year than in 12 years I’ll be up to an hour and by the time I’m 104 I’ll get a full afternoon of my families devoted attention. I’m looking forward to that!!

    But this year I’m also getting a song. My children have learned this song just cause I’ve played it over and over and over. We created this beautiful video for mother’s day (that’s what I’m giving my mother this year) and my children have learned it by heart. Noah my eight year old started singing this morning: ” the mother you get is the mother you need.” and my 3 year old has been singing “Your house is strong and so are you.” So even though I’ll only get about 5 minutes on Sunday all week my children have been serenading me and the tissues have been in high use over here.

    If you want to check it out you can view it at
    Happy Mother’s Day!

    Leslie May 3, 2011 at 10:52 pm

    Oh! This is perfect. My husband asked me what I wanted and I told him something like what you described! He told me today that they are taking me out to lunch and then we are coming back home where I will get a PRIVATE MASSAGE ON MY DECK, while he takes the kids to the park. Yeah baby!! I asked him if I had to cook dinner after and he hadn’t thought of that part but smartly added, no we will order in! Sounds like a perfect day to me!! Family time, alone time and no cooking.

    Kristen May 4, 2011 at 1:11 am

    This mother’s day my husband is taking me to a play. A grown-up play, and dinner, too. No kids. It’s just what I wanted. :)

    Melissa May 4, 2011 at 10:14 am

    My first Mother’s Day, and I told my partner that I want to sleep in and be presented with breakfast in bed. But secretly, I want a little more:

    1. I want time to figure out what the hell I’ve become this past year. Is real life really this exhausting? Is there a point when the fun and enjoyment of my son (’cause really, there’s a lot of that) outweigh the money and time anxieties? And who am I now that I can’t teach PT and try to transition to the career I’ve always wanted?

    2. I want my partner to read my mind and give me something super thoughtful, like I did for him last Father’s Day (a framed 8 X 10 of a precious moment in bed with his newborn, a sweet card with a thoughtful note, and a fun book on hiking with kids–simple, pertinent, and sweet). Like, maybe he could work on putting together than baby book I can’t seem to get going. Or maybe he could take down that stupid border in the kitchen and repaint. I just don’t want to have to dictate the terms. Surely he knows me well enough to think of something that fits the bill. Right?

    3. I want to not feel guilty about doing something without my son, like going for a walk, wandering through a bookstore, or sitting at a coffee shop and reading a good book for a couple of hours.

    I have a feeling these things aren’t going to happen. I’m trying not to get my hopes up. First Mother’s Days don’t have to be perfect, right?

    Tarasview May 4, 2011 at 12:06 pm

    I’d like a trip to Tahiti please :) Dream big I say.

    But in reality it will be a day like any other day. God bless my kids’ teachers because without them I’d get nothing for mother’s day!

    Jessica May 4, 2011 at 2:14 pm

    I want a clean house. I want a sparkling clean, everything put away, no dishes in the sink, no laundry waiting to be folder, I don’t trip on a toy on my way to the bathroom and then have to wipe off the seat, CLEAN house. I wouldn’t mind some flowers and a nice brunch either.. but mostly? Clean house. And maybe a promise that it’ll stay that way for at least the day :P
    Oh – and of course, I’d like my husband to magically figure out what I want and do it without my asking… of course, that’s what I want for my birthday and Christmas too.

    Jessica May 4, 2011 at 2:18 pm

    er… foldeD, even.

    Lauren May 4, 2011 at 3:15 pm

    I booked myself to work an event with pay lower than I normally accept that day. It’s the only way to ensure hubby helps out that day and gets me out of the house. The trade-off is that I have to be there two days in a row at 7am : /
    Next year, can I spend the day at a nice hotel?

    Issa May 4, 2011 at 5:26 pm

    Um, I’d like homemade waffles with strawberries and whipped cream. Which I’m going to get, since I’ll be making it for my mom. Ha.

    Then I’ll be getting in a car and driving home with three kids in the backseat asking are we home yet for four hours. So maybe I should hope that they all sleep?

    Honestly for me it’s just another Hallmark holiday. I felt that way before divorce, but even more so now.

    Arkie Mama May 5, 2011 at 12:23 am

    For three years now, I’ve gone out to brunch or lunch ALONE for Mother’s Day. At my request! I go to the bookstore, buy a couple of novels, then head to a girly, frou-frou restaurant of my choice. Alone! This year, I’ll be dining with the fam. But I’m a firm believer that Mother’s Day is what you want it to be!

    mominrome May 5, 2011 at 11:18 am

    I am 8 months pregnant…which makes me a mother…
    should I have my first mother’s day or wait until next year?!


    Her Bad Mother May 5, 2011 at 11:57 am

    @mominrome, you’re totally a mom! this IS your holiday, too!

    I celebrated Mother’s Day when I was pregnant with my first. That is, I insisted that my husband do so ;)

    danebee May 5, 2011 at 3:57 pm

    I’d like to go somewhere to sleep in where I can’t hear anyone waking up and asking for me at 6:30am. Sleep in, uninterrupted until 8am and then read for an hour in bed and have a coffee and a shower. By 9:30 I’d be set for a regular day of mothering with extra energy–it would make the whole day awesome no matter what. Pipe dream, I know. I’ll settle for some tulips.

    dmd May 6, 2011 at 11:53 pm

    I do get the day off for Mother’s Day. For several years, I have gone off by myself for Mother’s Day. It’s a beautiful thing. I write. I muse. I dream. I read. Everything a mom deserves.

    This year, we’ll be at the Jazz and Heritage Festival on Mother’s Day. So I will definitely take a rain check.

    casey byrd May 7, 2011 at 10:24 am

    Hi, for those who know me, My name is Casey Colette. I own and operate a blogspot at

    I am writing today to ask for your help. I would like you to write a short post about the tornado victims and link my fundraiser to it. My fundraiser will be sponsored thru Yesteryear soaps. I will be having a “party” and a percentage of the money earned will be donated to the recent tornado victims. I feel empathy and concern for these victims. I will be writing a review on yesteryear soaps 4 days before, on the 10th and then will be having a “party” on my blog benefiting the storm victims. ( Saturday May 14th ) Here is how it works:
    It will be a one day online e-party for yours/my readers. This is a version of the home party just like Avon or Tupperware, only I host the event online. It’s a no pressure, come by anytime approach. They supply my own ‘store’ . You invite your readers and facebook friends etc. to ‘come over’. They can look at the products anytime during the ‘party’. If they make a purchase I will get money for the donation fund thru paypal or gift cards. I still haven’t figured which would be easier. Probably paypal, although, they will take a percentage of it for themselves.

    Yesteryear will handle everything else.They collect the funds from them through a secure credit card transaction and we ship them their product, and they will then mail me a gift card, which I will donate. It’s that simple!

    Please see my blog post tonight or tomorrow about the tornado (I am in the process of writing it as soon as I get these emails on their happy little way.) if you are interested in seeing videos, pictures, or links about this horrible tragedy.

    Now I hate to preach about donating, but we all know most people won’t. I do not expect you to help me, but would appreciate it. I would also be willing to “grab your button” and in return also link any giveaway or post in a post on Locomotion of Expressions (plead/tell them about) The reason I am concerned for the situation there, is I know how bad it is. I have family there. I am from there, and haven’t been gone many years. Ironically, all these MANY numerous towns that got hit, are my old stomping grounds, and now the landscape of them is forever changed, I feel completely helpless to do anything. I do not have really money to donate. I do have a ton of stuff, but cannot just up and drive the 9 hours with my two kids to take it. I have been desperately seeking a drop off site, or donation center, because I do not want to leave it with just any old thrift store or even salvation army in town. The families here need it, sure.. but not as bad as Alabama victims do. Right now, they need chainsaw sharpeners, chainsaw chains, diapers, formula, feminine products, laundry detergent, among other things, this money would be cheaper to send than a box full of stuff, and I would be sure that it was placed in the right hand(s) to be set in the direction to where it needs to go. Please consider my offer.
    Thank you.

    I have posted my letter here ” as well, so that anyone who is interested in tweeting it out, or posting a link on facebook, or blogging about it to their readers, may also help. I will be able to give you a direct link as soon as the review is written on the 10th. Then I will post a blank blog post, so I can share the url of where the party will be at so you can write about it in your blog. Please if you do help, tell them it will not start until

    I do not think people are aware of just how bad it is. Now we have another disaster going down along the Mississippi river. Its scaring me, really to be honest. What is scaring me is this is just the beginning of tornado season ,and anyone who lives in that stretch KNOWS how scary and frightening Tornado season is.
    As a child, it took years for me to witness the true devastation of a tornado. I was also told to hide, but never knew why. it seemed to me, that it would rain and lightning, but they always hit “other places” Its not real to you until you see it happening somewhere or to someone you know. Not that this is my first experience with it, mind you. I have never lost a house, but have seen the devastation with my own two eyes. I only wish I were there NOW to help.

    If you are interested please write back and I will tell you the url of the post and we will work out whatever back scratching or whatever needs to be done. I appreciate your time (if you didn’t deleted me already) to read this! ((LOL!!)) and your (hopefully….) prompt response.

    Casey Colette

    Jen May 11, 2011 at 1:00 am

    oh, the list has been running through my head since Momma’s day….

    to sleep in. i.e. not to be waken up at 9:30 (after a much-interrupted sleep thanks to my two young boys and deep sleeping hubby) with “is that enough of a sleep in”

    a scrumptious brunch including food I (yes, ME) like… should definitely go out next year!)

    something nice and frivolous that takes into consideration my hints and likes (i.e. not YOUR favorite candy)

    to not feel guilty for thinking all this or wanting time to myself on this lovely day

    delicious coffee, calm, crossword puzzle and novel to fritter some time away with… sitting in a sun dappled cozy chair

    a clean, fresh house (I hear ya, Jessica!)… where everything is miraculously in its place other than the floor, and clean floors with no remnants of white dog hair anywhere… especially on my black clothes

    a dishwasher. Please, God, a dishwasher.

    oh heck, the list could go on and on! Sleep and send me off with no guilt would be heaven :)

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