I’m kind of a Mother’s Day curmudgeon. I’m one of those grumpy moms who says, when asked what I’d like for Mother’s Day, ‘a day off,’ because, seriously, isn’t spending a day not being a mom the very best way to spend the day on which motherhood is celebrated? The thing is, when I say this, I don’t really mean it. I don’t actually want a day off from being a mom. Sure, I’d love to have a day or an afternoon all to myself in which I get to lay on the sofa and eat chips and watch Buffy reruns (you are shocked, shocked to hear this, I know), but I wouldn’t really want my family to disappear for that day. I’d rather that they just, you know, mostly occupy themselves in some space adjacent to my relaxation space – go to the park, play in the yard, clean their rooms, that kind of thing – and make periodic appearances to give me hugs and tell me how awesome I am as I lay there in all of my chip-munching, Buffy-watching, slothful glory. Which, okay, is kind of like taking the day off from motherhood, but not entirely, because key to this whole scenario is that I still get to enjoy all of the awesome of being a mom (toddler kisses, general adoration) with none of the work.
Also – full disclosure – I actually like Mother’s Day brunches, because they involve all of the awesome of regular brunches but also usually include mimosas and smoked salmon and no-one is allowed to give you the stink-eye if your children misbehave. And I like the cards that my kids make me, and I also like flowers. So, yeah. A day on which I was permitted to sleep in, then taken to brunch and showered with cards and flowers and then given free and independent reign over the living room sofa and television would really be my ideal Mother’s Day. But don’t tell anybody that. Except my husband, maybe, but he should already know that when I say ‘nothing, just a day off, God‘ and wave my hands in exasperation, what I really mean is ‘cards and flowers and brunch and a bag of chips and for you guys to go amuse yourselves while I watch Buffy reruns but also for you guys to come hug me between episodes so that I don’t get lonely, okay?’
What do you really want for Mother’s Day? You can say ‘a day off.’ You can mean it, too.
(And if you’re looking for something different to do to mark Mother’s Day, consider participating in this little project. It’s kind of awesome.)