Into The Wild

June 2, 2011

Here is what I’m worrying about today:

1) My husband has taken the children camping.

2) In a tent.

3) Without me.

The camping itself isn’t worrying, I suppose. My parents took my sister and I camping all the time and it was awesome, and I love the idea of doing the same with my children. But, see, in that scenario, it’s a two-parent camping trip. I can’t imagine camping alone with my children in our backyard, let alone out in the wild. And not because I worry about all the dangers that wilderness potentially poses to children, but rather because I fear that my children – who sometimes, as I have said many a time, remind one of rabid honey badgers – will be too at home in the wild, and that the wild will call forth their inner feral natures, and that they will overpower their father and leave him tied to a tree or something while they race through the woods terrorizing woodland creatures.

And/or interrogating them.

The alternative possibility is, I suppose, that they will spend a couple of days working their inner honey badgers out of their systems, and I will return home from New York to exhausted and placid creatures who, after days of living in the wild without Barney and Dora and mac and cheese on demand, have come to appreciate the finer things of indoor life.

Or not. I’m guessing not. I’m guessing someone might need to send out a search party for my husband.

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    Tina C. June 2, 2011 at 2:16 pm

    we went camping last weekend. the 5 year old told me the worst thing about camping is no tv. but he had fun anyway. HA

    Erin June 2, 2011 at 3:09 pm

    I took my kids camping last year (they were 3 and 4 at the time.) They loved it! With the exception of having to have them be (reasonably) patient while I set up the tent, it was fantastic. There is something wonderful about having kids out in nature, especially camping. But your poor husband will probably come home completely exhausted.

    Kirsty June 2, 2011 at 4:17 pm

    As someone who has been camping precisely once (and loathed it), I have more than a little admiration for anyone who would contemplate such a thing. If it were my ex and our two daughters, I wouldn’t be worried that they’d go feral, more that my ex would go insane with the whining and pathological terror of all things bug-like and general pussy-ness of the experience with the girls (yup, they’re like me…). I can’t imagine any of them would a) sleep or b) eat anthing or c) last more than 24 hours. And they’d all need therapy afterwards. Can you tell that these girls are city born and bred? (Not that I was – the opposite in fact – but growing up in middle-of-nowhere parts of Britain more or less vaccinated me against the countryside. I’m all city girl now!)

    Jessica June 2, 2011 at 4:36 pm

    I went camping every other week with my family when I was a kid… loved it. We even went when my sister was under a year. I really really want to take my kids, but my husband is terrified at the thought and I don’t drive. Methinks it’s time to get my license.

    The Woman Formerly Known As Beautiful June 2, 2011 at 4:45 pm

    A man who takes his kids camping all on his own? Would you like a sister-wife?

    Lauren June 2, 2011 at 6:02 pm

    Brave, brave soul.

    juliejulie June 2, 2011 at 9:05 pm

    Not is a good guess.

    Moms in Boyland June 2, 2011 at 9:09 pm

    You are lucky to have a husband crazy…er I mean brave enough to take your children on a camping trip without you. Yes perhaps it may unlock their inner ravenous creatures, but hey that’s what the hubby signed up for. In the meantime sit back grab a glass of wine and indulge in some TV that is NOT on Nickelodeon. Sounds lovely don’t it? Hey can I come over? :-)

    Lady goo goo gaga June 2, 2011 at 11:26 pm

    My husband keeps telling me how excited he is to take my 4 and 5 year old camping this summer…I can’t decide which is worse, being home worrying or camping with them!!!!

    SharkFuel@kids iPhone game June 3, 2011 at 7:32 am

    Actually, I see nothing bad in that your husband has taken the children camping. However, it is bad that he has taken them without you. Of course, it would be nice if it was two-parent camping trip. Camping activity is a splendid opportunity for a family to rest together.

    Jenifer June 3, 2011 at 8:49 am

    We camp too…it is just at the Hampton Inn or other roadside hotel! Hee. I think I like the idea of camping a lot more than actually doing it. Good luck to your gang.

    Penbleth June 3, 2011 at 10:26 am

    Frankly, I’d just be grateful I didn’t have to go and perhaps bribe the kids not to tie their father to a tree or anything while they are away. I hope they enjoy the trip and return in one piece, complete with father.

    red pen mama June 3, 2011 at 12:04 pm

    I know your husband is smart, because he married you. So he must also be very, very brave to solo camp with the children. I mean, let’s face it, anyone under, say, 7 is closer to a wild animal than not. God bless and keep the man. And please let us know when he (and you, and the children) get home safely. ;)

    Julie June 6, 2011 at 1:19 pm

    The first time I took my two boys camping, it started raining as soon as I arrived. My husband had used the brand new tent the previous week and misplaced the set-up instructions,and then my oldest son developed urgent diarrhea as soon as I started puzzling the tent up. When it got dark, the raccoons started climbing all over my clean table-clothed picnic table and when I tried to shoo them away, I found several had white stripes down their back! YIKES! After that initial shaky start, we had a marvelous time in the sun and sand. I’m sure they’ve had a great time, and what a gift to your children and to yourself. Your husband is sure to appreciate all the things you do even more after the solo camping experience.

    Lessonsinbadparenting June 7, 2011 at 10:18 am

    I’ve done plenty of day hikes solo parenting with all three kids, usually with one on my shoulders for most of the way, and the other two waist-deep in creeks hunting for salamanders. So far, I’ve come out with as many as I’ve gone in with, so I figure I’m an awesome dad. I’ve also done the solo in the woods thing with my two boys, who seem unphased by epic fails. We went out on a weekend when a major storm came running through the north Georgia mountains. They were 6 and 8 at the time and thought it was really funny that the tent suddenly had a river running through it. It’s amazing how much fun the kids can have while everything is crapping out all around them.

    ashley12334 June 12, 2011 at 7:00 pm

    “3) Without me.”

    Made me think of something else… Also
    Made me remember of some things my mother told me when I was a kid. Sorry, but it’s too funny and ridiculous to share. :)

    Chrissy June 13, 2011 at 9:24 pm

    I actually think camping with mine is actually a bit of a break. I don’t have to tell him to come inside, I don’t have to cook much of anything (he roasts his own hot dogs and marshmallows), and there are plenty of bugs/night hikes/sticks/rocks/trees to keep him plenty occupied.

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