Mush

Hello, Goodbye

June 24, 2009

I am overwhelmed, today – and was overwhelmed yesterday, and the day before that, and am certain that I will be similarly overwhelmed tomorrow – with this singular thought: I do not want my boy to grow up. I don’t. I just don’t. I know that his future is bright and amazing and that the [...]

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Wonder Girl Rides Again

June 12, 2009

I’ve been trying all week to craft a post about my sister and Tanner, about how they’re struggling right now, about how they keep taking blows, about how they keep taking blows but never stop moving forward, never stop pursuing happiness, never stop pursuing life. I wanted to craft a post about how my sister [...]

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Walk This Way

June 4, 2009

And so your baby springs to his feet and – oops, wait! down? no! up! go! – toddles toward the flowers – wait! stop! flowers! ooh! – and then – hey! up! – toward you toward you toward you – come here baby! – and your heart swells as he pitches forward, all leg-torque and [...]

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One Kiss Breaches A Distance

May 25, 2009

“Hello, sweet girl,” she said, swooping Emilia into her arms. “I’ve waited a very long time to meet you.” “To meet me?” “Yes, you. I’ve known you your whole life, and now I finally get to meet you. And give you kisses.” And with that she buried her face in Emilia’s neck and gave her [...]

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After The Teacups

May 22, 2009

Yesterday was my birthday. I have very little reflective to say about that because, you know, anything that I might say would probably have something to with growing old (I grow old, I grow old) and not getting enough cake. And that would just sound pinched and ungrateful and unhappy, which is not how it [...]

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To Jasper, On His First Birthday

May 18, 2009

How, my love, did we get from here… … to here? It is not possible that it has only been one year. It feels as though you have been in my heart forever, my dirty-faced little monkey boy, my chunkster, my Jib. It feels as though I’ve loved you for an eternity. I have, and [...]

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Needful Things

April 27, 2009

Jasper came into the world with a bang, in a hulksmash explosion of blood and birthmatter and pain. And when they handed him to me – he, as full and round and alert as a baby many times his age – he reached for me and clung and suckled with the same ferocious determination that [...]

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Clockwatching

January 6, 2009

Last night, I curled up in bed with my little girl. She lay her head against my arm and gripped my fingers with her tiny hand and whispered, I want you to stay here, Mommy. Yes, I said. I want you to stay here, too. And then I rested my cheek against the crown of [...]

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Three

November 14, 2008

How did we get from here: …to here: …to here? These three years have sped by so quickly. These three years have been an eternity. I miss the baby that she was. I long for the girl she will become. I adore the amazing being that she is, and I am grateful for this day, [...]

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The Future By Thirds

November 3, 2008

“What would you think,” my husband asked, “if I got a vasectomy?” I put down my magazine and stared out the window. “I think,” I said carefully, “that I wouldn’t know what to think.” “We’re done, though, right?” “I think so.” “But you don’t want to get pregnant again, right?” “I don’t want to be [...]

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