I love this boy. I can’t save this boy. Nor can I save his mother’s heart from breaking. Nor can I save my own.

But I have to let go of this idea that I should be able to save anybody. I have to let go of the idea that anything short of wholesale rescue, anything short of securing the happy ending, anything short of saving the day, is not enough. And then I have to seize and grasp and embrace the idea that what is enough is reaching out with my heart – however sore, however shattered – and letting it be there, to absorb and reflect love, to absorb and reflect joy, and to cushion our falls.

(There is good. There is. Despite how hard on the heart these past two days have been, there were good things. Not least Tanner’s smile and his laugh and his irrepressible hope, but also the promise – now in the planning – of fulfilling his Biggest Wish, with the help of his community and awesome people like this lady. These are good things. These are precious things. These things are keeping our hearts somewhat, sort of, close to intact.)