deep thoughts

Eichmann On The Playground

May 12, 2011

There’s nothing like being away from home and getting a text from your spouse that says call me as soon as you can. It’s about Emilia, he says when I call. What about Emilia? I don’t know what the right words are to express, here, how shrill my voice was. ‘Shrill’ works decently well, I [...]

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Stories I’ve Only Told My Mom

May 6, 2011

I think that Mother’s Day is as good a time as any to break out the heavy emotional artillery, don’t you? I can’t say that I regret having had an abortion, but I also can’t say that I don’t. It’s complicated. Its complicatedness sometimes hurts my heart. Which is precisely why people talk about the [...]

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Sacrifice And The Mom

April 27, 2011

At the closing keynote session at the Mom 2.0 Summit the other week they showed a promotional clip for Oprah’s new network. In it, Oprah made a few remarks about why she never had children. “I realized that I didn’t want to make the sacrifice,” she said, “and motherhood is about sacrifice.” Ugh, I thought. [...]

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All The Things You Said, You Said

April 20, 2011

I almost never do this, pull narrative from the comment section of this site and present it alongside my own narrative, because that just seems so meta, although maybe I should, because it’s not like I don’t get meta – that whole last post was about as meta as it gets – and anyway so [...]

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The Beauty Of Heartbreak

April 15, 2011

A few weeks ago at SXSW in Austin, Texas, the lovely Karen Walrond sat me down and asked me a few questions about heartbreak. Not about the sad and the terrible and the woe-is-me of heartbreak, but about the beauty of heartbreak. And it was a wonderful and, I think, important conversation, because there is [...]

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Coloring Between The Lines

February 21, 2011

There are things that one knows about one’s self, and things that one doesn’t. I know, for example, that words make me happy and that I love my children and that I can, when I try, be very funny, and that I am introverted (yes, really) and that I am good at philosophy and at [...]

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I Can Hear Clearly Now

February 1, 2011

Another note from my sister, in thanks for all of your comments here… Thank you all for all the love and support; and thank you to my beautiful big sister. We are at BC Children’s Hospital this week getting further prognoses for Tanner, a measure of the time we have left…

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Thomas Kinkade Never Painted iPads

January 14, 2011

Here are some things that Jasper and Emilia love: crayons, art paper, paints, marshmallows, bubble wrap, trains, books, the iPhone, the iPad, video cameras, regular cameras, Toady, me, Kyle, the cats, skateboards, anything Disney, Scotch tape, cardboard boxes, stickers, the piano, and cookies. Only cookies with chocolate, though. They know their baked goods. Why they [...]

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Going Far Ahead Of The Road

December 30, 2010

My eyes already touch the sunny hill. going far ahead of the road I have begun. So we are grasped by what we cannot grasp; it has inner light, even from a distance- and changes us, even if we do not reach it, into something else, which, hardly sensing it, we already are; a gesture [...]

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Bring Us Goodness And Light

December 20, 2010

I love Christmas. I love it with the fiery heat of a blazing winter fire and a million twinkling fairy lights. I love the sparkle and the twinkle and the plum pudding and the eggnog and the tinsel and the gift wrap and the stockings and the carols and the hymns and the stories, all [...]

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