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You Do The Hokey Pokey And You Write An Elegy

October 4, 2010

I was mid-way through a rant about Malcolm Gladwell when I saw this tweet from my friend Jenny. “Rest in peace, Nancy W. Kappes,” it said. My heart dropped. You probably didn’t know Nancy W. Kappes, Paralegal, but your life would have been richer if you did. Nancy was a self-professed ‘bad mom,’ an impious [...]

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Sense Memory, Addendum

August 31, 2010

My dad wore Brut aftershave, the kind that comes in that opaque green bottle with the fake gold medallion. He didn’t wear it a lot, but it was the only aftershave that he used when he did use aftershave, and so it burned into my psyche – along with cigarette smoke (Players) and aged leather [...]

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Goodbye Is Just Another Word

August 24, 2010

I labored over a post about this, about this dark anniversary, about how this year has changed me, about how I still cry. But the words were confused, the sentences messy, the paragraphs long, the ideas incoherent, and it occurred to me that I do not need to struggle to put everything into words. That [...]

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Black Flies And Dryer Lint And Dragons, Oh My

August 3, 2010

It took me a while to figure why I was crying, why I kept bursting into tears at silly, random things, like an excess of dryer lint, or a dearth of toilet paper. I had just figured it to be hormones, or a passing mood, you know, the kind that you fall into when you’ve [...]

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A Real Boy

July 27, 2010

Every visit to the doctor, now, brings bad news. In the early days, there were reassurances and messages of hope – some boys make it out of their teens, there are ways to slow the deterioration of his muscles, he might stay mobile for a long time, he might still get to enjoy some of [...]

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A Tree That Looks At God All Day

June 30, 2010

I’m struggling, a little. Maybe a lot. I’m not entirely sure why. Maybe it’s just me buckling under the weight of too many sad things. Maybe it’s that thing that happens when you realize that you’re not as strong as you thought you were, that you’re not invincible, that you can’t stop bad things from [...]

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Things That Go Bump In The Light Of Day

June 1, 2010

It is, of course, our greatest fear. It is the bogeyman in our closet, the monster under our bed. It is the shadow that lurks behind every tree in the wood, it is the crackle of every twig, it is the sudden silencing of birds, the darkening of the sky, the unexpected chill in the [...]

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Neverland

May 21, 2010

It’s my birthday. I’m forty years old today. Forty years old. Isn’t this the birthday where I get canes and bifocals as gag gifts and t-shirts that say things like I’m not old, I’m vintage and at least one coffee mug with the words lordy, lordy look who’s forty printed along the side? I’m not [...]

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This Narrow Valley

April 28, 2010

There’s a home for the elderly that Emilia and Jasper and I pass every day on our walks to and from preschool and junior kindergarten and ballet lessons and karate. Emilia calls the ladies who live there her ladies – “we need to wave to my ladies, Mommy!” -  and she waves and blows kisses [...]

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On The Flip Side

April 15, 2010

(No, really. It’s an actual holiday. You should probably take the day off.) (I’m taking the day off. I’m actually going to take a couple of days off. I need a little break from the Internet. My heart is heavy and my head is full and I just don’t know how to put it into [...]

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