What Did You Do With *Your* Old Pasties?

August 27, 2006

The It’s Not Easy Being Green Dancers prepare for their upcoming command performance of Anne Geddes WTF: Geddes Gone Burlesque.

Performance is all about presence…


… and kick-ass costuming.

Dude. You gotta wear the pasties. I have a reputation to uphold.

You’re takin’ pasties for the team, Frog.

Gimmicky, yes, but it draws the crowds: PussyFrog Doll


I put pasties on my baby.*

I am a Bad Mother. I make no apologies.

(And, yes, I am an abuser of helpless toys. Kermit will doubtlessly require years of therapy to recover from the damage of being coerced into prancing about as a skank ho-phibian. Again, no apologies.)

And. Am hungover. Last night was TO mommyblogger debauchery, and all that buffing and vodka tonic slurping knocked me (already struggling with a cold) on my ass. It was all that I could do today to lift a hungover finger to upload exploitative pictures of my child and her amphibian dance companion.

Full report, with photos, tomorrow on MamaBlogsToronto.

In the meantime, seriously – what did you do (what would you do) with all those leftover pasties?

*You asked, Dawn. I delivered.

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    Mom101 August 27, 2006 at 10:22 pm

    How is it possible that I can be laughing so hard at the hands of someone who’s hungover?

    (And pssst…I still saved a few pasties. For your trip to NY?)

    metro mama August 27, 2006 at 10:40 pm

    Can’t wait for your recap!

    I’m hungover too. I should turn the computer off and go to bed.

    Mother August 27, 2006 at 11:54 pm

    Ironically, I just found my leftovers as well… I was actually going to use them for real, but then I thought, I’ll dress Q up and put them on her as she dances with kermit.

    Damn you woman. You beat me to it.

    SUEB0B August 28, 2006 at 12:06 am

    Thank you very effing much for making me pee my pants. Nice outfit on the girl.

    Haley-O August 28, 2006 at 12:17 am

    Adorable WonderBaby!!!! Oy!
    Can’t wait to hear what I missed at the spatastic night out!

    Lady M August 28, 2006 at 12:24 am

    I’m bummed I was on the wrong coast for the party! Good thing I didn’t have any leftover pasties. It’d be hard to top the WTF burlesque!

    Queen of Spain August 28, 2006 at 1:02 am



    I’m so pissed.

    Recovering Wino August 28, 2006 at 1:32 am

    OMG! I am so mad that I didn’t get the pasties either…! Obviously, I am not running in the right Blogher circles.

    But I have my own pasties that I bought at Macy’s…have to have some every once in awhile.

    something blue August 28, 2006 at 1:43 am

    That costume is too much. Adorable explosion! I love it!

    I think I’ve now had as many Advil as I had drinks last night.

    roo August 28, 2006 at 4:08 am

    That is kick-ass costuming at its finest (from one who knows about such things.)

    Although what with the chicken costume and all, I would have expected Gonzo to make an appearance…

    krista August 28, 2006 at 6:44 am

    Put that girl in theatre, she carries the costume with confidence.

    Mega Mom August 28, 2006 at 7:57 am

    Bitch, what I would have done was share them with women who were going to use them the right way (to cover up their herniated pregnant belly button) in the first place.

    I still got none.


    Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah August 28, 2006 at 8:30 am

    I LOVE IT!

    Now I guess I know what to do with mine.

    Oh, The Joys August 28, 2006 at 9:05 am

    THAT, is beautiful.

    Mommygoth August 28, 2006 at 9:17 am

    I want to be you when i grow up. I’m going to go home and put pasties on my cat (I think my baby would just rip them off).

    Karl August 28, 2006 at 9:27 am

    I’m so upset that I didn’t get any pasties.

    crazymumma August 28, 2006 at 9:30 am

    I think I needed those pasties to put over my eyes after the other night with all the ladies…a little tired and hung I would say…
    Hope you feel better.

    Mother Bumper August 28, 2006 at 9:56 am

    omigod – I’m crying from laughing so hard. That costume! AHHHHH!
    I heart the PussyFrog Dolls

    Andrea August 28, 2006 at 9:56 am

    That costume is so cute! And oh the pasties! Dying laughing over here.

    mothergoosemouse August 28, 2006 at 10:02 am

    I’m feeling compelled to actually PURCHASE some of those babies. We’ve got a Raggedy Ann costume around here that needs to be defiled.

    Her Bad Mother August 28, 2006 at 10:12 am

    Mom-101 – You’ve just answered the question (pressing on my brain all week) of what one wears to meet Gloria Steinem.

    Roo – I totally thought of you the whole time I was doing this (what would Roo think? Will Roo approve?) There was definitely Roo-spiration at play!

    All – any of you get pasties on a cat or a man or some other unsuspecting or reluctant party and provide me with photographic evidence or Kegel-straining graphic description and you’ll earn my undying respect and admiration and a customized command performance from the INEBG Dancers!

    TB August 28, 2006 at 10:19 am

    I used them as nipple shields when I was wearing a sheer backless dress a few weeks ago. I was hoping for some sort of wardrobe malfunction, but alas it never happened.

    wordgirl August 28, 2006 at 10:56 am

    If had actually GONE to BlogHer, I would use them as button covers on a jacket and wear them to our PTA’s Open House tomorrow night.

    Elizabeth August 28, 2006 at 11:39 am

    Note to self: Buy Kaitlyn a chicken costume for Halloween. Decorate with pasties. Tell neighbors she was playing with stickers. Buy a large Kermit, too.

    I *heart* WonderBaby!

    sunshine scribe August 28, 2006 at 12:12 pm

    I got to see one of these classic pics on your camera on Saturday night but with the full effect reveal…now that is even MORE hilarious.

    Smitten with Wonderbaby. Even in pasties. You crack me up.

    Annie, The Evil Queen August 28, 2006 at 12:21 pm

    These are hysterical. I love her costume. I think Kermit was probably cross dressing way before you got to him so don’t worry about therapy. Wonderbaby wears them with such a look of confidence.

    Anonymous August 28, 2006 at 12:42 pm

    Okay, so WHERE did you get the costume????

    Kel August 28, 2006 at 1:14 pm

    OMG…I’m laughing so hard my co-workers think I’m nuts. (ah well they already know I’m nuts.)

    I LOVE IT! The costume is sooooo cute.

    nonlineargirl August 28, 2006 at 2:44 pm

    That girl is ready for her world tour. I’m running out to buy my tickets now.

    jennster August 28, 2006 at 5:19 pm

    LMFAO! why the hell is she dressed in that!? LOL.. i love it… TOO MUCH!

    urban-urchin August 28, 2006 at 9:22 pm

    The costume is so freaking cute. I want one for my little man.

    How cute is that baby?1

    Gidge August 28, 2006 at 9:31 pm

    I think that the muppets fully embrace loving everyone and none of them would have an issue with Kermie’s cross dressing adventures.

    Thanks for bringing this important issue into the light for us all to ponder……

    okay kidding, that was a hoot.

    tomama August 28, 2006 at 10:24 pm

    Yes, photos. Post haste.

    Waya August 28, 2006 at 10:54 pm

    She’s adorable!!! I love the costume!

    Izzy August 29, 2006 at 12:35 am

    Jim Henson is turning in his grave right now!

    *spin spin, whirrr whirrr*

    Can you hear it?

    Thanks for the much-needed chuckle, you wacky beyotch! And be sure to thank WB for the cuteness :)

    Her Bad Mother August 29, 2006 at 10:12 am

    The chick outfit is from Children’s Place. It is both horrifying and adorable and I couldn’t resist the temptation to mess with it some way.

    Which is to say, I derive pleasure from dressing up my child in funny outfits and taking pictures and cannot resist an opportunity to do so. Is that wrong?

    Mrs. Chicky August 29, 2006 at 10:25 am

    Do you think you could get a group therapy discount for the frog and Wonderbaby?

    WB – “Yes, doctor, when I was just a wee babe my mother dressed me up like a chicken (duck?) and forced me to wear pasties. The frog had to wear them too. Now I have a deep love for poultry and burlesque. Ooh, and frog’s legs. They taste like poultry.”
    Frog – “Hey! So that was you nibbling on my ankles when I was sleeping. You said it was the cat.”

    You are nuts. I love ya!

    Christina August 29, 2006 at 1:37 pm

    Well, now that we’re trying for baby #2, those pasties have gone into my arsenal for nights when I need a little something extra to get the huz into the mood. Or to make him laugh.

    sweetney August 29, 2006 at 2:18 pm

    you rule.

    Mary Tsao August 29, 2006 at 5:12 pm

    She’s too sexy for her pasties, you bad mother, you.

    anne nahm August 29, 2006 at 5:40 pm

    That’s wonderful!

    Of course, years of therapy for Kermit, but still very, very funny :^)

    Melissa August 29, 2006 at 7:08 pm

    So cute. I adore her costume. You are so mean to Kermie. Do they have frog therapy?

    Melissa August 29, 2006 at 7:09 pm

    Crap. Sorry, I ahdn’t read any of the others. I didn’t copy Ann, I promise. :)

    braiding mommy August 29, 2006 at 7:17 pm

    absolutely love the outfit – and the original touches.

    Stacy August 29, 2006 at 7:37 pm

    Sometimes hungover posts are the most entertaining! I enjoyed your pasties.

    Sharpie August 29, 2006 at 8:17 pm

    TOO Funny!! I mean, pasties are fun – none-the-less, no??

    Gina August 30, 2006 at 1:13 am

    First of all, that is ONE cute chick!!! That costume kills me! Absolutly stinkin’ hilariously cute!

    And second, I love your “no apologies” way of reporting. You are awesome!

    ewe are here August 30, 2006 at 4:10 pm

    This is hysterically cute. Wonderbaby is absolutely adorable in her duckie with pasties outfit.

    I’m glad I’m not the only one who dresses their little one up once in a while. ;-)

    Alyson Wilson August 30, 2006 at 8:03 pm
    Her Bad Mother August 30, 2006 at 11:34 pm

    Oooh, WonderBaby hits ThisNext! She’s honored, truly. Taking a little bow as we speak.

    (Kermie, on the other had, is mortified. Mortified.)

    (And yes, frogs have nipples. Duh. Little froggy nipples. For the tadpoles. No?)

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